What I loved most here was the sense of arrival, not arrival as in finished, not arrival as in finally perfected, but more like a woman stepping into this next decade with both feet on the ground, knowing herself more deeply, trusting life more fully, and no longer mistaking fear for wisdom.

There’s something very beautiful about a woman who can say she feels more liberated, more enlightened, more humble, and more prepared to serve with clarity and groundedness than ever before, especially in a culture that still tries to sell women the story that ageing means becoming less relevant, less visible, less needed. These answers quietly refuse all of that.

And maybe that’s what stayed with me most. The reminder that midlife can be a season of expansion, not because life suddenly becomes easier, but because we begin to meet it differently, with more presence, more choice, more responsibility, and more grace.

The line that really stayed with me was this: “Life has become something I move through rather than brace against.”

Honestly, that’s such a profound shift, because so many women spend years bracing, bracing for disappointment, bracing for conflict, bracing for the next demand, the next responsibility, the next thing that needs managing or fixing or holding together. And somewhere along the way, bracing can begin to feel like living.

So to hear a woman speak about presence, emergence, and responding to what is actually here rather than what she fears might be coming feels like a whole different way of being alive.

I also loved her answer about sensory presence: listening for birdsong, smelling the air, feeling the texture of what’s around her, and noticing the bench beneath her. There’s something so simple and so profound in that; it reminds me that grounding doesn’t always come through some elaborate ritual. Sometimes it comes through returning to the body, returning to the moment, returning to what is real.

And the wisdom piece matters too. Not wisdom as something abstract or lofty, but wisdom that lets you enjoy your life and take responsibility for it as a gift, not a burden. That feels like grown-woman truth.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I am a woman, mother of three, entrepreneur, academic teacher, and mentor. In this place, I am also a traveller, here to experience and learn. In 2026, I turn 50, and I am fully, joyfully arriving in this season.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

I feel more liberated, more enlightened, more humble, and more prepared to serve with clarity and groundedness than ever before. What surprised me most was that I did not expect life to unfold in such a genuinely pleasant, expansive way.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Maybe not completely stopped, but a lot lessened: fear. I feel so much more present, lighter, and responsive. Life has become something I move through rather than brace against.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

Presence. An emergent approach to life. It allows me to read what is in the room and respond from within, attuning to what is actually here rather than what I imagine might be coming.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

I honour the boundary of protecting my energy from overwhelming chaos. I politely, firmly, and guiltlessly declined yesterday and departed the room, specifying the reason for my decision. No apology.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

Choosing to become who I am becoming. That decision shifted everything.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Relying on my senses and listening for birdsong, smelling the surrounding air, touching things to feel their texture, and noticing the bench beneath me. That single practice of sensory presence keeps me grounded and here.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That you are no longer needed by society, that your motherhood and career will end when you reach your 50s. I have released that story completely.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

Wisdom. Wisdom that lets you enjoy life and take full responsibility for it. As a gift rather than a burden.

At 50+, I am…

Mother, sister, and so much more than my titles and roles, she is a wise, composed woman. I know how to handle challenging emotions in myself and in others. I am in service to those I choose to support, doing it my way, with people I am keen to collaborate with. I am free, creative, and a resource.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

Whether we decide to be the victim, the heroine, or someone else entirely, it is up to us. That choice is ours. And we are not alone in bridging that gap.

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about these answers is the softness in them, but not a weak softness, a grounded one. The kind that comes when fear loosens its grip and presence takes its place.

I think so many of us imagine midlife as the point where life begins to narrow, when really it may be the point where we finally stop arguing with reality and start meeting it with more honesty, more composure, more trust in who we are and what we’re here to do.

And that line about “Choosing to become who you are becoming”? That really landed, because maybe that’s what this whole season is asking of us. Not to cling to who we’ve been, not to wait to be chosen, but to consciously step into the woman we already sense is there.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still bracing against life instead of moving through it?

• My Start: What would it look like to respond to what is actually here, rather than what I fear might happen?

• My Boundary: Where do I need to protect my energy from chaos, firmly and without guilt?

• My Micro-decision: What would change if I chose fully to become who I am becoming?

• My Practice: How can I return to my senses and ground myself in the present today?

Journal prompt: In this next chapter, who am I choosing to be: the victim, the heroine, or someone else entirely?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

is one of them.

Writer, producer, community builder, and the founder of @hotincharleston, a woman who describes herself as a midlife storyteller, inspired by the idea that “You tell me your story, and somehow, I get mine.” That line alone tells you everything about how Kerri moves through the world. With her ears open and her heart wider.

What I wasn’t prepared for in her answers was the rawness of how her fifties actually began. At forty-eight, she left New York City for Charleston, a brave, intentional move toward something quieter and more purposeful. And then perimenopause arrived, uninvited and unannounced, and upended everything. The anxiety, the mood swings, the rage. The feeling of not recognising herself during a season already crowded with change. Her relationships suffered. Her mental health suffered. And nobody had prepared her for any of it.

Because we talk about the physical changes of menopause. We rarely talk honestly about the emotional and relational ones, the way it can quietly dismantle the version of yourself you thought you knew.

What Kerri did next is the part that stayed with me. She got the right support, returned to herself, and then made a series of decisions that looked, from the outside, like chaos. She fired all her clients. She enrolled in an MFA in creative writing in her fifties. She built a community, wrote a thesis, produced two sold-out theatrical shows about midlife and perimenopause, and launched a Substack.

Not in spite of the rupture. Because of it.

That is what a real pivot looks like. Not a polished rebrand. A woman who fell apart, put herself back together differently, and decided the whole experience was worth sharing.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I am the founder of the midlife community @hotincharleston. I’m a writer, producer and community builder… a midlife storyteller. My work is inspired by the phrase “you tell me your story, and, somehow, I get mine.” I am in my best season of life, the one where we embrace our deepest passions, shed the people, ideas, and identities that no longer serve us, and lean into self in the boldest, most authentic, and most courageous of ways.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

I think what surprised me most was the tumult of my early ‘50s, and then the sheer power of the pivot that followed.

At 48, I moved from NYC to Charleston in search of a quieter, more purposeful chapter in which to raise my teen daughter. What I never expected was the anxiety, mood swings and rage of perimenopause that upended my life during a time already crowded with change. I didn’t recognise myself, and my mental health suffered from the hormonal shifts. My relationships, too. Conversations about menopause are always focused on the physical changes. But in my opinion, it’s the emotional and relational changes that most affect you. A great menopause specialist helped return me to the self I knew. In response, I fired all my clients, enrolled in an MFA program in creative writing, and dedicated myself to helping women in midlife rediscover themselves and their voices.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

I’ve tried to stop micro-managing and scenario-planning in all my roles, but especially with family. They didn’t need the full Kerri I was throwing at them. We need to relax in our parenting and in our relationships with our partners. If we wish to embrace the authenticity of our true selves and allow those selves to blossom, we must leave room for others to do the same. Loving sometimes means holding tight, but more than ever, I am convinced it means releasing. Holding on the way I was with my daughter made the empty nest really empty, and really hard. But now I observe, marvel, and parent from a greater distance. And I focus that old energy on myself.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

I’m choosing community.

Women deserve to be supported during this phase of life. My platform, @hotincharleston on Instagram, helps women feel seen and fosters compassion and empathy in an isolated world. My sold-out theatrical productions, Midlife Monologues and Pass the Mic for Perimenopause, showcase the power of story-sharing as medicine, something experts increasingly believe in.

Now I’m bringing the conversation to Substack with my newsletter Hormonal Rage & Other Breakthroughs. It’s important to acknowledge midlife honestly, for its aching beauty, absurdity and joy, as well as its ruptures and potential for rebirth. We must do that as a community. When we do, we’re stronger for it, as individuals and as a society.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

I feel the best part of my 50s was shedding boundaries and embracing vulnerability. In a sense, boundaries to truth are falling away.

For my own creativity and care, I’m embracing selfishness after decades of putting my family, career, and volunteer work first. If this means erecting new boundaries by saying no, I’m all for it. We must be true to ourselves.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

Completing my thesis in my 50s and launching two theatrical productions while working on a book meant I was sitting in a desk chair for loooong stretches. Some days that meant 9 am until 2 am. I thought the space in my mind was what needed nurturing and attention. Now I’m turning to the physical self I ignored. Moving more, scheduling time for exercise, and taking up golf. Lifting weights. I want to preserve the physical self and see how strong she can become, just as I nurtured my creative self.

One practice that keeps you steady:

I love the physical and mental lengthening that Pilates provides. The way it has brought about a much-needed mind/body connection in me. I have struggled to be fully present at times in my life. Pilates is helping address that in unique ways. I hope to improve my Pilates practice over the next decade.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

Midlife is not the end of anything. I don’t buy it. What’s delighting me is how the cultural conversation has shifted. Women in midlife hold all the cards. We are taking over the narrative. We are the super consumers. The power dynamic is shifting. It’s about time.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

The way things that had such a grip on us in the first half of the decade suddenly soften and then fall away in the second half. It is profoundly clarifying, powerfully emboldening.

Complete this: At 50+, I am…

I am the most fully myself that I have ever been. I am ready for more. More authenticity, more self-expression, more time with those I love, more time with myself as I continue to grow in the exploration of new dreams and passions.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

No matter our age, there are always new chapters to write. The power of that next chapter will surprise and delight you. Make room.

My Note to My Future Self

What lingers most from Kerri’s answers is something she said about the second half of her fifties, the way things that had such a grip on you in the first half suddenly soften and fall away. ‘Profoundly clarifying. Powerfully emboldening.’

I’ve been thinking about that a lot.

Because so many of us are still in its grip. Still holding on to identities, relationships, habits, and versions of ourselves that stopped fitting years ago. And what Kerri is describing is not a dramatic letting go; it’s more like a gradual loosening. The hand opening, almost on its own, when you finally stop fighting the season you’re in.

I also loved what she said about releasing in relationships. That loving sometimes means holding tight, but more and more, she believes it means letting go. That her tight grip on her daughter made the empty nest genuinely harder. And that redirecting that energy, back toward herself, her creativity, her community, changed everything.

There is something so honest about admitting that. That sometimes our love, in its most anxious form, is really about us.

And her closing invitation, “There are always new chapters to write. The power of that next chapter will surprise and delight you. Make room”, felt less like advice and more like a quiet promise from someone who has actually lived it.

Make room. That might be the most important thing any of us can do right now.

If you’re following along this week:

• My Stop: Where is my anxiety disguising itself as love, control, or over-involvement in someone else’s life?

• My Start: What would I do, create, build, explore, if I redirected that energy back toward myself?

• My Boundary: Where do I need to say no in order to make room for what actually matters?

• My Micro-decision: Am I nurturing my physical self with even a fraction of the attention I give my mind?

• My Practice: Where in my life could more presence, true, unhurried presence, change everything?

Journal prompt: What is still gripping me that I know, quietly, it’s time to release? And what might open up if I finally did?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

Menopause specialist, healthy ageing advocate, former professional dancer, and a man who has spent years showing up in a space that most men quietly leave to women, because he understood, long before it was fashionable to say so, that menopause is not just a woman’s issue. It is a human one. A relational one. And the more people who understand it, the better it goes for everyone.

What I didn’t expect from Tafiq’s answers was their vulnerability. Here is a man who specialises in hormonal transitions for women, and who was completely blindsided by his own. Andropause arrived after fifty, quietly and uninvited, and caught him entirely off guard. Despite everything he knows. Despite years of expertise. Despite being professionally the person other people turn to when their hormones stop making sense.

I love that he shared that, because it’s such a human thing. We can hold enormous knowledge and wisdom in one area of our lives and still be ambushed by our own biology.

What also stayed with me is the arc of Tafiq’s life, the sheer audacity of it. Moving to Florida before he had anywhere to live. Packing up his car and driving across the country to California to pursue a dance career before he had a job or a place to sleep. He describes himself as a big jumper and a believer in himself, and you can feel that in every answer. There is no smallness in how this man has moved through the world.

And yet, at fifty-plus, what he is quietly enjoying most is being alone.

That felt important to share.

Who are you, and what chapter are you in right now?

I am Tafiq Akhir. My professional name is Mr Menopause. I’m in the chapter of life where I’m growing and expanding my message, my brand, and my quality of life.

What caught you off guard about your 50s?

Andropause caught me off guard after 50. Although I specialise in menopause health for women, I was not prepared for the male version since such a small percentage of men get it. I did not even consider I’d be in that 3 to 5% that experience it. Extremely caught off guard.

One thing you’ve walked away from, and don’t miss:

The main thing I walked away from was working to fulfil someone else’s dreams.

One thing you’ve chosen in its place:

Becoming my own boss to focus on fulfilling my dreams.

One line you no longer cross, or let others cross:

I used to offer unsolicited health and wellness advice. I no longer cross that line, as I learned many people don’t appreciate or value it.

One small decision that shifted more than you expected:

Small decisions never did much for me. I think I’ve always made big decisions that shifted things for me. From high school all the way through to young adulthood. Moving to Florida for a new job before I even had anywhere to live. Then, doing a similar thing years later when I packed up my car and drove across the country from Florida to California to pursue a professional dance career, before having a job or a place to live. I’ve always been a big jumper and believer in myself.

One thing that keeps you grounded:

My upbringing keeps me grounded. I’m forever grateful for the foundation my mom and godmother instilled in me. A saying I heard throughout my childhood was “It’s just nice to be nice.” And that was instilled in us, along with humility and service.

One story about midlife you’ve stopped telling yourself:

As a menopause and healthy ageing specialist, I understand and appreciate the changes our bodies go through during midlife, so there’s nothing I’ve told myself that needs to be stopped. I believe in learning to work with your body rather than fighting it.

The thing no one told you you’d actually enjoy about your 50s:

I did not realise how much I’d enjoy my alone time. I was always the person who entertained and did things. Although I still enjoy hanging out with friends, I really enjoy my alone time now.

Complete this: At 50+, I am…

... more comfortable and secure with who I am than I have ever been. If I had cared less about what peers, clients, and people in general thought of me, or even what I perceived people thought of me, I probably would have gotten farther in my career faster. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and that it took the time it needed for me.

My Note to My Future Self

What I keep thinking about is Tafiq’s closing reflection, that if he had cared less, earlier, about what people thought of him, he might have gotten further faster. And then, in almost the same breath, the acceptance that it took the time it needed to take.

That is such a graceful place to arrive at. Not bitterness. Not regret. Just a clear-eyed understanding that the path was the path, and that everything unfolded in its own necessary order.

I also loved what he said about unsolicited advice. That he used to offer it freely, and learned, the way most of us learn, that wisdom shared without invitation rarely lands. There is real maturity in that shift. In holding what you know with more gentleness. In waiting to be asked.

And his grounding principle, carried from childhood: “It’s just nice to be nice”. Simple. Unfashionable in a world that rewards edge and disruption. And, I think, quietly radical.

Kindness, as a lifelong practice, not weakness, not naivety, but a genuine orientation toward the world, is one of the most underrated things a person can choose to build their life around.

Tafiq has built his around that. And around service. And around the belief that working with your body, rather than fighting it, is where the real intelligence lives.

I think we could all borrow a little of that.

If you’re following along this week:

• My Stop: Where am I still offering my wisdom, energy, or opinion where it hasn’t been invited?

• My Start: Where have I been fulfilling someone else’s dream at the expense of my own?

• My Boundary: What would change if I stopped measuring my progress against where I thought I’d be by now?

• My Micro-decision: Am I working with my body right now, or quietly at war with it?

• My Practice: Where in my life could I simply be nicer to others, and to myself?

Journal prompt: What would I have done sooner if I’d cared a little less about what people thought? And is it too late to begin it now?

Tafiq has never been one for small, timid steps, and this position paper feels like another big, necessary jump. It is a powerful reminder that women shouldn’t have to navigate medical complexities or evaluate life-altering care options in the dark. Foundation, context, and clear education shouldn’t be a luxury we stumble upon after years of uncertainty; they are the essential groundwork for informed, confident care. By making education non-negotiable, Tafiq isn’t replacing medical advice; he is handing women the tools to ask better questions, communicate their needs, and take full agency over their health and bodies. You can dive into the first paper of his series, Menopause Education Before Intervention: Why Foundational Knowledge Is Essential to Informed Care, here.

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

Alicia Brown’s answers were like that.

Healthcare administrator, nursing professional, single mother, second-chance wife, and a woman who has spent decades showing up for everyone around her before she finally, finally, gave herself permission to show up for herself. Her answer to ”At 50+, I am…” is just two words. “Enough. Phew. Finally.” And I had to put my phone down for a moment after I read it.

Because that word, enough, is the one so many of us spend a lifetime reaching for. Not more. Not better. Not fixed. Just enough, exactly as we are.

What struck me most about Alicia is the honesty about what didn’t disappear. She’s fifty-seven and still working through self-doubts she’s carried since she was thirteen. And rather than framing that as failure, she holds it with such maturity. Still a work in progress. Still moving forward. Still showing up. That, she has decided, is enough.

There is also something deeply moving about her relationship with kindness. In a world that tells women to match energy, to protect themselves by becoming harder, Alicia has quietly chosen something different. Not a doormat. Not naive. But genuinely unwilling to let someone else’s ugliness change who she is when she walks out into the world each morning.

That takes a particular kind of strength. The kind that doesn’t announce itself.

I wanted her voice in this series because she represents something I think many women recognise: the woman who spent years in pure survival mode, just getting through the day, and who is now, slowly and deliberately, choosing her future. Not someone else’s. Her own.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

Hello, my name is Alicia Brown. I’m currently in a bit of a Fall-Winter Season, harvesting the rewards after working so hard, enjoying opportunities for reflection, and finally, gratefully, letting go of things I should have long ago. I’m looking forward to embracing my winter season and discovering even more about myself.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

Two things surprise me most; one is that I’m still struggling with some of the same self-doubts and self-criticisms I’ve been fighting since I was 13. When you think you’ve moved past something, you learn it can still be lingering in the background. Doing much better, but still a work in progress. The second thing is, you need to be able to find a way to embrace ageing, more specifically, being able to accept that gravity isn’t your friend. Almost overnight, things like your hair and skin change.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Taking things personally. Often, others are just projecting. Their actions usually don’t have anything to do with you; they are battling something internally. Get to really know yourself, so you understand the woman you are, and when others act with (or without) intent to hurt you, you realise there’s no substance to what they are saying. The weight that takes off your shoulders is incredible.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

My future. I always chose my present, or someone else’s present, or the future. In a past marriage, I just focused on getting through the “now” - as a single mom, just focused on my daughter’s needs, my work, getting through the day... now, in a wonderful marriage for 23 years, I have the support and confidence I need to focus on more than “survival.” As a result, I allowed myself to find the right career with amazing people... one that challenges me, fulfils me, and recognises my efforts. As a woman with over 25 years in healthcare administration and 10+ years in nursing, I’m incredibly grateful to have found an Executive Team that recognises my contributions. It’s an incredible feeling.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

That’s a tough one — boundaries, YES! No apologies? At 57, I’m still working on that one. I don’t cave to dominant personalities or accept disrespectful communication as I once did. I think it’s important for women, of any age, to expect respect. Whether it is in the workplace, with loved ones, family, friends, or random interactions with someone in public. We expect people to treat our friends and family a certain way, but we often don’t stand up for ourselves.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

A quote I heard: “Courage does not always roar; sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow.” I thought I always needed to charge towards everything; anything less was weakness. Sometimes, just gathering your strength to get up the next day and try again is incredibly courageous. We’ve all seen it... Someone who has been through it, but they dig deep, they find it, and they try again. I decided that just continuing to move forward daily was a win; I didn’t need to conquer everything all the time... sometimes showing up is enough.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Kindness. It sounds simple. I think, as women, we’ve all been given advice to treat others the way they treat us if we’ve been wronged. I don’t subscribe to that. I am not that person. I’m not going to let someone else’s shortcomings change the way I go out into the world each day. If someone wants to be ugly, that’s on them. I won’t be ugly back... Finding that balance so you aren’t a doormat, but you don’t allow others to turn you into something you aren’t, contributes to my own peace.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That we should be in certain places in our lives at certain ages. That’s counterproductive because things just don’t happen that way. Friends may be grandparents by now or retiring, etc. Comparison is the thief of joy. Find comfort in your season. Learn the lessons that come with it. Set goals for the next season.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

Hindsight is a valuable teacher. Take heart about what others say, that it is about progress, not perfection. I’ve had difficult relationships, financial hardships, and rough patches with my daughters. So many lessons. I know myself so much better at 57, things I didn’t know about myself at 30, 35, 40. Having that hindsight and knowing what you are capable of is empowering.

Complete this: At 50+, I am…

Enough. (Phew. Finally.)

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

How much value they have! When we are younger, we think our input isn’t valuable because we don’t have the life experience. As we get older, we think our input isn’t valuable because we're “past our prime.” With age comes all of those lived experiences, which is priceless.

My Note to My Future Self

What I keep sitting with is Alicia’s micro-decision. That quote she carried:

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow.

Because so much of midlife is exactly that. Not the grand pivots or the dramatic reinventions, though those happen too. But the quieter, less visible courage of continuing. Of getting up. Of deciding that simply moving forward is a victory worth claiming.

I also loved her reframe around comparison. That friends may be grandparents by now, or retiring, or somewhere you thought you’d be and aren’t. And that measuring your season against someone else’s is a particular kind of self-cruelty we can choose to put down. Find comfort in your season. Learn its lessons. Set goals for the next one.

There is real wisdom in that. The unhurried, undefended kind.

And her boundary, still a work in progress at fifty-seven, and honest enough to say so, felt like a gift to every woman reading this who thought she should have it all figured out by now.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to keep going.

If you’re following along this week:

• My Stop: Where am I still taking things personally that have nothing to do with me?

• My Start: In what area of my life am I finally ready to choose my future, not just get through the present?

• My Boundary: Where do I expect respect from others but quietly fail to expect it for myself?

• My Micro-decision: Where do I need to remind myself that showing up today is enough?

• My Practice: How can I protect my own kindness, without becoming a doormat, in a world that keeps testing it?

• Journal prompt: Where in my life am I still waiting to feel enough before I allow myself to move forward? What would change if I decided I already was?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

Lori Hartwell did that.

Founder of the Renal Support Network, creator of Paws for Hope, founder of Studio Hope Boutique, and a woman who has had kidney failure since the age of two. Thirteen years on dialysis. Four transplants. A body that the medical establishment, more than once, did not expect to survive.

And she is turning sixty this summer.

I want to sit with that for a moment. Because what Lori represents in this series is something quietly extraordinary. Most of us come to midlife carrying the ordinary weight of life, the accumulated grief, the identity shifts, the hormonal upheaval, the relationships that changed shape. And all of that is real and worth honouring.

But Lori has arrived at this decade having fought, literally and repeatedly, just to be here. Her most surprising thing about her fifties? That she made it to them. She was never supposed to live very long. And she did. She built a life, and then several more, and then a community, and then another community, and then a boutique thrift shop in Burbank where neighbours can meet, decompress, and shop for something that matters.

She is not surviving anymore. She is creating.

What I loved most in Lori’s answers is the lightness in them. The wisdom that doesn’t announce itself. The woman who has been through more than most of us will ever face, and whose advice includes, without apology, choosing the ice cream.

I think that tells you everything.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I’m a survivor, and I feel as if I’ve lived many lives.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

I was most surprised to make it to my 50s because I was never supposed to live very long. Along the way, I stopped believing everyone thinks the same way I do, so I’ve learned to communicate as clearly and honestly as I can; people are not mind readers.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

One thing I no longer do is compare myself to others. We are all unique, with our own strengths and challenges.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

I’ve also learned that if there’s an ice cream option for dessert, choose it; you’ll never be disappointed.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

I insist on being treated like a person with a mind, not judged like the cover of a book. I will not be diminished, ignored, or discounted in my knowledge of the body and health.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

Choices are everything because they define you. Early in life, I chose to dare to dream and follow what my heart wanted me to do.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Arts and crafts keep me steady. They quiet my mind, help me relax, and bring me peace.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

One belief I no longer hold onto is that friends are forever. Sometimes people come into our lives for a season, and that’s okay.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

One of the best things about being in my 50s is making my pediatric doctors smile.

Complete this: At 50+, I am…

At 50, I know myself better than I ever did before, flaws and all, and I’m okay with that. I want people to know that I have lived, learned, survived, and grown into someone who values authenticity, compassion, creativity, and choice. I may not be perfect, but I am fully myself.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

Life is a gift, that is why they call it the present.

My Note to My Future Self

What stays with me most from Lori’s answers is the boundary she names so clearly and without flinching. That she will not be reduced to a diagnosis. Will not be dismissed or discounted when it comes to her knowledge of her own body and her own health. After a lifetime of navigating medical systems as a patient, as a woman, as someone whose body has been discussed, debated, and managed by others, she has entirely reclaimed that authority.

I insist on being treated like a person with a mind, not judged like the cover of a book.

That line belongs everywhere.

I also loved her refrain around friendship. That not everyone is meant to stay. That some people come for a season, and that is not failure; it is just the honest rhythm of a life fully lived. There is such grace in that. In releasing the expectation that love has to be permanent to have been real.

And her closing: “Life is a gift, that’s why they call it the present,” landed differently coming from Lori than it might from anyone else. Because she has known, more intimately than most, what it means to almost not have it. And she has chosen, anyway, every time, to come back to the present. To dare to dream. To choose ice cream. To make her paediatric doctors smile at sixty.

That is not just resilience. That is a whole philosophy of living.

You can find out more about Lori Hartwell here:

• https://www.facebook.com/RSNhope

• https://www.instagram.com/rsnhope/

• https://www.pinterest.com/rsnhope/

• https://x.com/rsnhope

• https://vimeo.com/rsnhope

• https://www.youtube.com/user/Lorihartwell

If you’re following along this week:

• My Stop: Where am I still comparing myself to others, their timelines, their bodies, their lives?

• My Start: Where have I been waiting for permission to follow what my heart is asking me to do?

• My Boundary: Where am I allowing myself to be reduced, dismissed, or spoken over, and what would it feel like to hold firm?

• My Micro-decision: What is one small choice I keep deferring that actually defines something important about who I am?

• My Practice: Where in my life do I need more quiet, the kind that arts and crafts and gentle creativity can bring?

Journal prompt: If I truly believed that life is a gift and that this present moment is all I’m guaranteed, what would I stop postponing? And what would I choose, right now, simply because it brings me joy?

arrived in my inbox with answers that stopped me, not because they were dramatic, but because they were so considered. So willing to look inward. Here is a man who spent decades chasing adrenaline across some of the most high-octane environments imaginable, the military, Greenpeace UK, the fire service, international corporate leadership, and then turned fifty, and asked himself a question that takes real courage: Why?

Not “What next.” Not “How do I keep going?” But why. What was I actually looking for in all of that?

That kind of honesty is rare in anyone, and I think it’s the work that midlife asks of us, regardless of gender, to stop running long enough to examine what we were running towards.

What moved me most in Simon’s answers was the shift from proving worth to knowing it. He describes a version of himself that needed the role to come first, the danger, the mission, the external validation of a life lived at full tilt. And then, quietly, that changed. Not in a dramatic moment of enlightenment, but in the gradual recognition that when you finally know your own worth, you stop needing the world to confirm it.

He is now a yoga teacher. He protects his peace like it’s sacred, because it is. He is learning from his adult children as much as he is teaching them. And he is getting tattoos, unashamedly, brilliantly, with no regrets worth mentioning.

I think you’ll understand why I wanted his voice in this series.

What caught you off guard about your 50s?

How hard would turning 50 hit me? Other milestone birthdays were celebrations, but 50 felt so much more serious. I felt that the world would see me differently and that my role in life was changing.

I’ve spent a lot of time in high-adrenaline roles. The military, Greenpeace UK, a firefighter, and an international corporate executive. 50 was a reassessment. Asking the question “Why?” What was I looking for in those roles, and did I still need it?

One thing you’ve walked away from, and don’t miss:

Really, this answer flows from the previous one. The need for a role that puts me first and others second. I came to the realisation that the core of my chasing of adrenaline was my constant desire to prove my worth. Now I know my worth, I can place others before me.

One thing you’ve chosen in its place:

In addition to my primary roles, I am also a yoga teacher. With that comes a sense of the servant/teacher, and that is really what inspires me at this stage of my life. Being of service while still being able to lead. My work around the menopause transition is very much rooted in that philosophy.

One line you no longer cross, or let others cross:

Not letting myself or others disturb my peace. In the chaotic world we currently find ourselves in, it is too easy to get sucked into the anger response triggered by headlines and, especially, conversations on social media. I choose to deliberately not engage with that. I stay informed, but I don’t let it disturb my peace, which I truly value.

One small decision that shifted more than you expected:

Becoming a yoga teacher. I have practised yoga for more than 20 years. Sometimes consistently; other times, less so. 4 years ago, one of my teachers persuaded me to join a teacher-training class. You learn so much more than how to lead a yoga class. It is a very introspective process lasting 200 hours. And then you find, rather than graduating as a teacher, you have just set foot on a lifelong path.

One thing that keeps you grounded:

It’s hard to choose one thing. Certainly, my wife does a great job of doing that. But also, teaching yoga and meditation and being a student of both helps enormously.

One story about midlife you’ve stopped telling yourself:

That this is a season of decline and slowing down. It isn’t, it’s a period of reassessment, of making choices that bring you joy and contentment. Learning that contentment doesn’t mean settling. I always thought midlife was about crisis and being “old”. I imagine younger people still see it that way. But I find I think of myself less and less as old and more and more as aged, like cheese or wine. A better, more refined version.

The thing no one told you you’d actually enjoy about your 50s:

The number of companies that want to offer me discounts! It’s surprising, I think, because they feel you won’t be around to take advantage of them for long! Seriously, though, I am surprised by the amount I enjoy having adult children. I always dreaded them becoming adults because that meant I’d be much older; instead, I find us having more mature conversations. It has made me immensely proud to watch them develop their own personalities and see how they navigate life in ways different from mine. As much as I want to teach them, I find myself learning from them.

Complete this: At 50+, I am…

…more certain of myself. Of who I am and what I want to be. I am embracing the future instead of living in fear of it. The clarity that ageing brings is surprising. Since I turned 50, I have been getting tattoos, and I love the fact that no one ever says, “You’ll regret that when you are older”. Too late. I am. And no regrets or, as Frank sang, too few to mention.

My Note to My Future Self

What I keep returning to in Simon’s answers is the idea of becoming aged, like wine, like cheese. Better, more refined, not less.

We live in a culture that treats ageing as a slow loss. Something to fight, delay, or at least soften with the right products and the right framing. And yet here is someone describing 50 as the point at which he finally became more certain, not less. More present. More himself.

I also loved what he said about peace. Choosing, deliberately, not to be disturbed by a world that is designed to disturb you. That is not passivity. That is discernment. That is a grown person deciding that their nervous system is worth protecting.

And his closing line about the tattoos, “Too late. I am. And no regrets“, honestly, that is some of the best midlife energy I have ever read.

If you’re following along this week:

• My Stop: Where am I still chasing adrenaline or external validation to prove my worth?

• My Start: What would change if I genuinely believed I didn’t need to earn my place?

• My Boundary: Where am I letting other people’s noise disturb the peace I’ve worked hard to build?

• My Micro-decision: What is one role, habit, or identity I’ve outgrown, and what would I choose in its place?

• My Practice: Where in my life am I the servant-teacher? And where could I be?

Journal prompt: If I already knew my worth, truly, quietly, without needing it confirmed, what would I stop doing? And what would I finally let myself begin?

If you’d like to be part of the ‘85 Weeks to Fifty' series, or you know a woman whose voice would feel like medicine here, email me at hello@kiransinghuk.com. And if you’re reading this thinking, same, tell me in the comments: What is your takeaway from this interview?

’s were like that.

Danish author, photographer, retreat leader, writer to nearly ten thousand kindred spirits, and a woman who, at fifty-three, bought a house in a French village because something in her body said yes before her rational mind could catch up. I love that. Not because it’s romantic, though it is. But because it’s honest about how the best decisions in midlife actually happen. Not from a spreadsheet. Not from a pros and cons list. From something quieter and more trustworthy than either.

What moved me most in Sif’s answers is how she describes her fifties as the decade when someone flung open every window in the house. Because that’s not what we’re told to expect. We’re told to expect consolidation. Contraction. A graceful narrowing. And instead, here is a woman opening boxes she labelled someday in her thirties, building a life between a medieval French village and an 1840s schoolhouse in Denmark, and writing letters to thousands of women about what it actually looks like to reshuffle the entire deck at midlife.

That takes courage, and honesty, and a particular kind of self-trust that doesn’t come from certainty; it comes from practice.

I also loved what she said about reinvention; that it isn’t for the young, that it’s actually better in midlife, because you finally have the wisdom to know what you want and the courage to stop pretending you don’t.

I think many women reading this will recognise themselves in Sif. The big sister who showed up for everyone. The woman who quietly packed her own dreams into boxes marked later. The one who kept saying yes to everything except herself.

This conversation is for her, for you, for all of us who are finally, slowly, opening the boxes.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I’m Sif, Danish author, photographer, and lifelong seeker of cosy corners and deeper meanings. At fifty-three, I bought a house in a French village because something in my body said yes before my rational mind could intervene.
Twenty books, seven awards, and twelve years of retreats for women across Europe, plus one dog named Clark, after Superman, who has made it abundantly clear that morning walks are non-negotiable and that deadlines are entirely my problem.

Now, fifty-five, living between a medieval village in the Languedoc and an 1840s schoolhouse in Denmark. I write letters to nearly ten thousand kindred spirits about what it really looks like to reshuffle the entire deck at midlife, and build a life rooted in creativity, adventure, community, and just the right amount of freshly baked croissants.

All of it is supported by a work-life that travels with me, rather than the other way around.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

I thought this decade would be about slowing down. Instead, it feels like someone flung open every window in the house. Because when you finally put down what belonged to everyone else, you find yourself standing in front of all the boxes you packed away in your thirties, labelled someday, maybe later, when things calm down. Well, things have calmed down, and I’ve started opening every single one.

I’ve always been a seeker; I have a Master of Arts in Literature and, unofficially, a PhD in daydreaming. My fifties haven’t changed that; they’ve simply given me the space, the courage, and the delicious permission to finally write my own next chapter… one built on everything I once only dared to imagine.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Being the family’s one-woman emergency service.

I am a big sister to my bones. Showing up, solving things, carrying the weight so nobody else had to – it was practically my first language. When I turned fifty, I wrote myself a quiet resignation letter from that particular role. Not from the family. Not from the love. Just from the part where I was the only one doing it.

I still show up. I still care deeply. But now I ask others to pull their chairs up to the table too. Things sometimes don’t get done the way I would. I have learned to surrender to that. And what I found on the other side of letting go was something I hadn’t felt in years: space. Glorious, creative, mine-to-fill space.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

Adventure. Creativity. The full, unhurried, gloriously mine version of life.
The space that opened up when I stepped back from carrying everything turned out to be the most valuable real estate I have ever owned. I am building something on it now, something that belongs entirely to me. A writing life. A creative life. A life lived between a medieval village in France and a Danish schoolhouse, full of ideas and images and the particular joy of a woman who has finally, finally given herself permission to go first.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

My solitude. As an introvert who has learned to teach, speak, and lead, I know precisely what I need to show up fully for other people: time alone, without explanation or justification. I protect it now the way I protect everything else that keeps me well. Completely, and without guilt.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

Saying yes before I felt ready. Not recklessly, but deliberately, to the things that frightened me in exactly the right way. The first book. The Sisterhood retreat. The stone house in a French village where I knew no one. Each yes built the muscle of trusting myself over the noise of fear. That muscle is now the most useful thing I own.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Learning, creating, and imagining, every single day, without negotiation.
My greatest strength, confirmed by every personality framework I have ever enthusiastically thrown myself at, is love of learning. I do not need discipline to read, to write, to bake, to develop new ideas that keep me up at night with excitement rather than worry. It is simply what I am made of. And on the days I honour that, when I give myself an hour with a book, a morning of writing, an afternoon of flour and butter and something rising slowly in the oven – everything else falls into proportion. The world feels manageable. I feel like myself. That is all the steadiness I need.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That reinvention is for the young. That starting over, beginning again, pivoting wildly toward something new, all of that belongs to your twenties, when you have time and energy and the luxury of not knowing better. Nonsense. I bought a house in France at fifty-three. I built a publication read by 10,000 people at 54. Reinvention, I have discovered, is actually better in midlife – because you finally have the wisdom to know what you want and the courage to stop pretending you don’t.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

You stop waiting for permission and start making slightly unreasonable decisions that turn out to be exactly right. You buy the house. You book the trip. You wear the thing. You change your mind. You order dessert first. You trust the nudge.

Somewhere along the way, life stops being a checklist and becomes something you get to play with.

At 50+, I am…

… fully cast in the lead role of my own life… and no longer auditioning for anyone else’s.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

That the life you have been quietly dreaming of is not behind you. It has been waiting – patiently, loyally, with absolutely no intention of giving up on you.
For me, it meant finally bringing a long-held dream to life, moving to France, strolling food markets with a basket in hand, cooking up a storm in my little stone kitchen with a glass of local wine and a French playlist drifting through the window. It meant writing the script for a new and exciting chapter with me in the leading role. Planning wonderful meet-ups with fellow Substackers. Organising Sisterhood Retreats. Allowing myself to be thoroughly, unapologetically spoiled by cheese, olives, and the kind of crisp baguette that makes you wonder how you ever lived without it. And opening the doors of my heart’s home in France to the people I love.

The permission you have been waiting for was never coming from outside. It was always yours to give. So give it. Now. The best chapters rarely begin when we feel ready. They begin when we decide to begin.

My Note to My Future Self

What I keep returning to is Sif’s image of the boxes.

All those things we packed away in our thirties: the dreams we labelled "someday", when things calm down, maybe later, and the quiet radical act of finally, finally, starting to open them.

Because things have calmed down. Or perhaps we’ve just decided to stop waiting for them to.

I loved her boundary around solitude. Not as withdrawal, but as the very thing that allows her to show up fully for others. There is so much permission in that. So many women have been told that needing time alone is selfish, or difficult, or something to apologise for. Sif protects it without guilt. And that shift, from explaining yourself to simply knowing yourself, might be the most underrated gift of this decade.

And her closing line: “Fully cast in the lead role of my own life, and no longer auditioning for anyone else’s.”

I don’t think I need to add anything to that.

If you’re following along this week:

• My Stop: Where am I still being someone else’s one-woman emergency service?

• My Start: Which box did I label "someday in my thirties" that I could quietly open this week?

• My Boundary: Where do I owe myself solitude, and have I been stealing it from myself?

• My Micro-decision: What is the thing that frightens me in exactly the right way, the one I keep circling?

• My Practice: What does a day look like when I honour what I’m actually made of?

Journal prompt: If the life I’ve been quietly dreaming of has genuinely been waiting for me, patient, loyal, not giving up, what is the very first thing I would say to it?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

Not because it was neat, but because every thread, the science, the grief, the motherhood, the pivots, the lived experience, starts to reveal itself as part of one larger pattern.

That’s what I felt reading Mireille Vega’s answers. Known to many as Dr. Mimi V, she’s 53, a biochemist and founder of VGAM Biome, where her work is rooted in oncology, immunology, microbiome research, and the belief that skin is not just surface, but a living ecosystem shaped by hormones, stress, chemistry, and lived experience.

What I loved most is the sense of convergence. This is not reinvention for the sake of reinvention. This is recognition. The moment where everything you’ve lived begins to become useful.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I’m Mireille Vega, Accredited Chemist, PhD, though most people know me as Dr. Mimi V. I’m a biochemist, former biotech executive, and founder and CEO of VGAM Biome, where I lead what I call the Skin Science 3.0 movement. My 30 year career was shaped by oncology, immunology, and microbiome research, and all of it eventually converged into a single idea: that skin is a living ecosystem influenced by hormones, stress, and lived experience, and that caring for it should be simple, adaptive, and grounded in real science.

I’m 53, born in Montreal, raised between a French Canadian artist mother and a Spanish immigrant father. I’ve lived in three countries, built a business from scratch, lost both my parents, and navigated my son’s brain tumour. Still standing, still curious.

This is my season of convergence. The book I’m writing, the brand, the mission to help people care for their “one human skin” with intelligence and intention, and to see health as something that goes far deeper than the surface. It’s all clicking into place. Took a while. But that’s kind of the point.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

How much I stopped apologizing for being exactly who I am.
I always knew who I was. I just spent a lot of energy managing how that landed for other people, which turns out to be exhausting and also completely unnecessary. The people who need what I offer find me. That realization was a genuine surprise, a huge relief and major empowerment.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Forcing outcomes. I used to say yes to everything and then make it work through sheer multitasking. If it didn’t work one way, I’d try another, all at once. Now I let things go. I focus on fewer things, give space for solutions to arrive, and trust the process. The moment I stopped pressing, the answers started coming to me.

One thing I’m choosing instead:

Alignment. Before I say yes to anything, whether it’s an opportunity, a collaboration, or a commitment, I ask whether it actually serves the mission. I’ve become almost allergic to things that fragment my energy. When something is truly aligned, you feel it in your whole system, and that has become my filter for everything. And you know how I know? I listen in. I listen to my body, to my gut. It knows alignment.

One boundary I now honour, no apology:

My solitude. Meditation is non-negotiable for me, and creating space for stillness is strategic rather than selfish. As a founder, your internal state is your company’s operating system. When I’m scattered, everything is harder. When I’m centred, clarity arrives fast. Protecting that space is the most important work I do.

Also, I no longer hesitate when my gut says no. I’ve learned, the hard way and more than once, that when something feels like anxiety rather than excitement, that’s information. The moments I suffered most were those when I ignored that signal. A difficult boss I stayed under too long. A partnership I should never have entered. My hesitation was the sign, and I don’t override it anymore.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

Asking to be moved from oncology to immunology after my son was diagnosed with a brain tumour.
It looked like a step sideways, and honestly it felt like survival at the time. But it was in that immunology work that I discovered the skin-gut microbiome connection, the missing element I’d been searching for since my twenties, the scientific insight that became the entire foundation of VGAM. What felt like escaping was actually moving toward everything I was meant to build. I just didn’t know it yet.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Run or walk in nature. My brain processes everything simultaneously, which can be a lot, but movement outdoors creates a rhythm that quiets the noise. Some of my clearest thinking has happened on a trail or by the water, in the moments when I’m not producing, not performing, not explaining. Highly recommend.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That slowing down is wisdom.
I think we’ve been sold this idea that midlife means pulling back, becoming less. I see the opposite. You finally have the knowledge, the clarity, the courage, and enough scar tissue to do the real work. I’m more focused and more purposeful at 53 than at any other point in my life. And I’m at peace with that, because I know what I’m building and why.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

You’ve earned your filter. Decades of being misled by industries, by systems, by people, and you finally know the difference between what’s real and what’s noise. I’ve always had a strong radar for things that don’t add up. But in my 50s, I no longer try to fix it. I simply move on. That saves an enormous amount of time and energy. It’s one of the great gifts of this decade.

Complete this: At 50+, I am…

At peace. I’m saying the full sentence. Or choosing to not say a thing when it’s just noise. I enter the room I choose rather than try to fit the room. I know what I stand for. I know who I’m here to serve. And I know that your skin reflects your chemistry, and your chemistry reflects your life.

At 50+, I am…

the most honest version of myself, and that, as it turns out, is also the most effective one.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

Everything you’ve lived is a foundation, not a liability.
Every hard thing you survived, every connection you made, every truth you finally told yourself. The decade ahead is about recognition rather than reinvention. You already have everything you need. It’s all connected. Trust the chemistry of your own life.

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Mireille’s answers is the way she speaks about life as something connected.

Not random. Not wasted. Not a collection of wrong turns and detours. Connected.

That idea really stayed with me, because I think so many women reach midlife and start questioning whether they are too late, too scattered, too complicated, too full of different chapters to make sense. But sometimes the meaning only appears later. Sometimes what felt like survival becomes preparation. Sometimes the sideways move becomes the doorway. Sometimes the thing you thought took too long was actually becoming ready in its own time.

And I love what she says about no longer forcing outcomes. That feels like such a mature kind of power. Not passive. Not detached. But grounded enough to stop pressing on doors that are not opening and wise enough to listen when the body says no.

Maybe that is one of the gifts of this decade. You stop trying to fit the room. You enter the room you choose.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still forcing outcomes instead of allowing clarity to arrive?

• My Start: What would choosing alignment look like before saying yes?

• My Boundary: Where do I need to protect my solitude, stillness, or inner clarity?

• My Micro-decision: What past “sideways move” might actually have been part of the path?

• My Practice: What kind of movement or nature time helps quiet the noise in my mind?

Journal prompt: What if everything I’ve lived is not a liability, but the foundation for what I’m here to build next?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

That’s what stayed with me reading Jenn’s () answers. She’s 52, based in Seattle, and after more than 30 years in corporate America, she left her job in September 2025 to pursue a creator-led life rooted in midlife reinvention and burnout recovery.

What I loved most about this interview is how clearly it speaks to the woman who has spent decades being capable, useful, reliable, and impressive in ways that slowly cost her own wellbeing. Jenn calls this her rewrite season: post-corporate, post-burnout, and rebuilding her health and identity with more honesty.

That feels deeply midlife to me.

Not just asking, “What do I want to do next?” But asking, “What do I actually have the capacity to hold now, and what kind of life would honour that?”

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I’m Jenn Fast, 52, based in Seattle, Washington. I spent 30+ years in corporate America (biotech, HR, executive support) being excellent at taking care of everyone else’s priorities. In September 2025, I finally made the leap and left my corporate job to pursue a creator-led life built around midlife reinvention and burnout recovery. I’m in my “rewrite” season: post-corporate, post-burnout, rebuilding my health and identity with more honesty and a life designed around capacity and what actually matters.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

How free it feels. I expected my 50s to be a narrowing, a slow resignation to a downhill slide. Instead, it’s been an expansion. The things that used to hold me captive, other people’s opinions, the fear of being seen as difficult, the pressure to shrink into whatever space was offered, have lost their grip.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Performing for others. Corporate trained me to perform in ways that weren’t particularly impactful except for the damage to my stress levels and mental health. Now, in both my personal life and my new business, I don’t accept invitations, meetings, or projects that don’t genuinely bring me joy. Simple as that.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

To pursue and accept only those things that align with my values, my goals, and the lifestyle I deserve.

One boundary you now honor, no apology:

My health is not negotiable. After years of running myself into the ground in service of productivity, I treat my physical and mental wellbeing as a baseline, not a reward. Meetings don’t get my sleep. Deadlines don’t get my exercise time.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

Choosing to keep a consistent bedtime, seven days a week. I know that sounds impossibly small. But protecting my sleep fundamentally changed my relationship to my own life. When I’m rested, I make better decisions, I’m kinder, I have more capacity for the things that matter. That one daily act of self-respect rippled outward into almost everything else.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Every morning I drop my teen daughter off at high school, come home, and settle into my favorite chair by the window with my laptop and a hot cup of protein coffee. Those couple of quiet hours before the day gets loud are mine. No distraction, just me working on my business and staying connected to what I’m building. That simple ritual is one of the best parts of the life I’m creating.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That it’s too late. Too late to start over, build something new, become someone different, choose a life that actually fits. Every version of “too late” is just fear wearing a calendar. I’m not buying it anymore.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

Knowing what’s mine to carry and what isn’t. The years give you a clarity that’s hard to earn any other way. I know my values. I know my capacity. I know which relationships are worth fighting for and which ones were costing me more than I realized. That discernment feels like one of the great gifts of this decade.

At 50+, I am...

Finally building the life I kept saying I’d get to someday. Free to choose how I spend my time and with whom.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

That the version of you arriving in this decade has been in the making your whole life. She has lived experience and earned wisdom. She has proven she can do hard things. And she doesn’t need anyone’s permission to take up space. Your life and your success don’t have to look like everyone else’s, and they will never look perfect. They don’t have to. They just need to be uniquely yours, aligned with your values, and whatever makes you genuinely happy.

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Jenn’s answers is how honest they are about the cost of performance.

Because so many women in midlife are not tired because they lack ambition. They are tired because they have been building lives around other people’s timelines, expectations, emergencies, and definitions of success. They have been excellent at caring for everyone else’s priorities and quietly absent from their own.

That line about meetings not getting her sleep and deadlines not getting her exercise time really stayed with me. Because that is the kind of boundary that looks simple from the outside but changes everything internally. It says: my wellbeing is the baseline, not the leftover.

And maybe that is the real rewrite available in this decade. Not throwing everything away, but finally telling the truth about what fits. What drains. What belongs. What doesn’t. What makes you feel genuinely alive.

A life does not have to look perfect to be powerful. It just has to be yours.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still performing for approval, productivity, or other people’s comfort?

• My Start: What would it look like to build my life around capacity instead of constant output?

• My Boundary: Where do I need to make my health non-negotiable?

• My Micro-decision: What one daily act of self-respect could ripple into everything else?

• My Practice: What quiet ritual helps me stay connected to the life I’m building?

Journal prompt: Where am I still telling myself it’s too late, when really it might just be fear wearing a calendar?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

She’s a yoga teacher and wellness coach based in Kingston, Jamaica, and through her work, she helps women over 40 feel better in their bodies, manage joint pain, and move through menopause with more support and self-trust. She also created Bloom, her online yoga and wellness membership, after moving her classes online during Covid, a pivot that clearly opened up a whole new chapter in her work.

What I loved most about this interview is how honest it is. She doesn’t pretend she was prepared for menopause. She wasn’t. The hot flashes, joint pain, anxiety, and brain fog all arrived more forcefully than expected. And yet the overall feeling here is not one of fear. It’s self-possession. A woman who has learned what supports her, what harms her, and what she is no longer willing to say yes to. There’s something deeply encouraging in that.

Also, I loved the sense of lightness in her answers. More fun, more presence, more confidence in who she is meant to be. Because that’s the thing about this season, it can be challenging, yes. But it can also be fabulous.

What stayed with me most was the combination of honesty and optimism. Karin is clear that menopause symptoms are real, and from her public writing, that’s very much part of her work too. She regularly shares yoga and wellness support for women over 40 navigating joint pain, stress, sleep issues, and menopause symptoms, all without the usual doom-and-gloom tone.

I also loved the simplicity of her shifts: drinking less, saying no more often, choosing fun, staying present, protecting herself from what damages her body, mind, or spirit. These are not flashy answers, but they are deeply lived ones. They speak to the kind of wisdom that comes when you stop trying to force yourself through life in ways that no longer fit.

And that micro-decision to move her yoga classes online during Covid really stayed with me, too. Because so often one practical pivot becomes the doorway to something much bigger. What begins as adaptation becomes expansion. What begins as survival becomes a new offering, a new business model, a new season of purpose.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I'm Karin Wilson Edmonds, Yoga Teacher and Wellness Coach based in Kingston, Jamaica. I'm 61, almost 10 years post menopause, managing menopause without HRT.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

Menopause symptoms are real! I was totally unprepared for what menopause would bring and experienced quite a few symptoms (hot flashes, joint pains, anxiety, brain fog). Didn't expect any of it!

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Stopped drinking as much as I used to and am much better for it! Also, stopped saying yes to things I really wanted to say no to!

One thing you’re choosing instead:

I'm choosing to focus on having more fun in life and to be present and mindful of TODAY!

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

I don't engage in activities that are damaging to my body, mind or spirit (as far as I possibly can).

One micro-decision that changed everything:

To move my yoga classes online during Covid, which has led to my online yoga and wellness membership business, Bloom.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Yoga and meditation!

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That midlife means looking and acting "old".

The best thing about being in your 50s:

Having the self-confidence to be true to who I am and meant to be!

At 50+, I am…

Healthy, happy and pain-free!

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

The 50s can be FABULOUS! It's not downhill from here, but moving on to doing more fun, fulfilling, and fabulous things!

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Karin’s answers is that they feel like a woman who has made peace with herself, not in a passive way, but in a grounded one. The kind that says: “I know what this body needs. I know what I’m no longer available for. I know I do not have to act old just because the world expects women over 50 to shrink into some tired stereotype.”

And maybe that’s one of the real gifts of this decade. Not that everything becomes effortless, but that you finally start trusting yourself enough to meet life differently with better boundaries, more mindfulness, more humour, more fun, more truth about what actually feels good and what doesn’t.

There is something deeply hopeful in hearing a woman say the 50s can be fabulous, because they can.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still saying yes when my body, mind, or spirit is asking for a no?

• My Start: What would it look like to choose more fun and presence in my life right now?

• My Boundary: What am I no longer willing to engage in because it quietly harms me?

• My Micro-decision: What one practical pivot could open a new chapter for me?

• My Practice: What helps me feel healthier, steadier, and more like myself?

Journal prompt: What if this decade is not about becoming old, but about becoming more fully who I am meant to be?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

That’s what stayed with me reading ’ answers. At 59, Lana describes this season as a season of identity expansion. Not doing more, not carrying more, but becoming more aligned with what is true, while releasing what no longer belongs.

What I loved most was how honestly she connects midlife, health, leadership, identity, and community. Real change, as she reminds us, doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from becoming more of who you actually are.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I’m Lana Jean Telles, and I’m at the tail end of my 50s. I turned 59 this past March. For me, this season is best described as identity expansion. Not in the sense of doing more, but in becoming more aligned with what is actually true for me. It’s been a season of refining, of letting go of what no longer fits, choosing differently, and living with more intention and far less noise.

I write from lived experience, not theory alone. I’m a board-certified special education professional with nearly two decades of experience, currently serving in leadership and statewide advocacy, and I’m also pursuing my doctorate in educational leadership. Alongside that, I’m navigating the very real layers of midlife, identity shifts, unfinished work, and health. Being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and lupus in my early 50s forced me to reevaluate everything: how I spend my time, how I care for myself, and what I’m willing to carry. It reshaped my understanding of leadership and showed me that how I care for myself isn’t separate from my work; it’s foundational to it.

I’m also the founder of Worthy & Wild, The Expansion Equation™, and The Expansion Readiness Audit™, all rooted in one belief: real change doesn’t come from doing more, it comes from becoming more of who you actually are.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

What surprised me most is how freeing this season has been. I thought it would feel heavier, but instead it brought clarity. There’s a confidence that comes when you stop negotiating with yourself. Facing my own limits through health challenges made it clear I couldn’t keep living the way I had been, pushing, carrying, and overextending, and that clarity changed how I choose now.

I’ve outgrown the life I once worked so hard to build, not because it was wrong, but because I’m no longer the woman who built it. I’ve learned that growth isn’t about improving the life you have; it’s about having the courage to choose a life that actually fits.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

I’ve stopped trying to optimise a life that no longer fits me. For a long time, I believed growth meant doing better, managing more, and improving what I had already built. But what I needed wasn’t a better version of the same life; I needed to question whether it was mine at all. I stopped over-functioning, stopped explaining myself, and stopped carrying what wasn’t mine to hold. That shift alone changed everything.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

I’m choosing what expands my world and my sense of self, but intentionally, not a busy one. I’m drawn to experiences, conversations, and spaces that challenge how I see myself and what I believe is possible. Expansion, for me, isn’t about doing more; it’s about becoming unavailable for anything that keeps me small and choosing what feels true, even when it requires change.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

I protect my time without apology. There was a season where I worked long, exhausting hours, constantly available and constantly giving. I don’t live that way anymore. I no longer extend my workday endlessly or sacrifice my life to maintain systems that will continue without me. My time belongs to me first; to my family, my health, and the life I’m intentionally building.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

Starting my Substack. It seemed like a small decision, but it shifted everything. Writing every day helped me hear myself more clearly, but what I didn’t expect was the community it created. In a world that often feels divided and disconnected, it became a space for something different: real conversations, honest reflection, and women showing up as they are.

There’s a kind of connection that happens when people are willing to tell the truth in real time, a kinetic connection you can feel. It reminded me that growth isn’t meant to happen in isolation, but in relationships and shared experience. Substack didn’t just give me a platform; it gave me a connection.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Hiking and backpacking. I’ve always loved the outdoors, but after my diagnosis, it became something deeper. It became a way to return to myself, and also a way to prove to myself that I was capable of more than I thought.

Climbing Half Dome, reaching the summit of Mt. Whitney, and taking on long backpacking trips weren’t just physical accomplishments; they reaffirmed something within me. Nature strips everything back and brings me into presence. It reminds me that my health isn’t something to push through, it’s something to honour.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

I no longer believe that growth means doing more, holding more, or managing more. I used to ask, “How do I keep everything together?” Now I ask, “Why am I still holding this at all?” Some of the things I was trying to fix were never mine to carry. I didn’t need a better plan; I needed a truer identity.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

The best thing about being in my 50s is that I am self-led. I choose for myself, intentionally and without the same need for external validation. There’s a clarity in this season that can’t be rushed; you begin to understand that your time, energy, health, and presence are not unlimited resources, and you choose accordingly. I also see now that identity work is legacy work. How I live, what I model, and what I choose to hold onto or release create ripple effects beyond me. That awareness is incredibly freeing.

Complete this: At 50+, I am…

At 50+, I am no longer becoming who the world expected me to be; I am becoming who I know myself to be. I am more aware of what is true for me and more willing to honour it. I am less interested in performing a life that looks right and more committed to living one that feels right. I trust myself in a way I didn’t before, not because everything is certain, but because I’ve learned to listen. And perhaps most importantly, I no longer question my worth. I don’t have to search for it or prove it. She’s right here.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

You don’t need to do more to create a better life. You need to get honest about what no longer fits and have the courage to choose differently. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling like something has shifted; that awareness is not a problem to fix, it’s an invitation. And you don’t have to do this alone.

We’re living in a time where connection is often replaced with noise, comparison, and division, but real growth happens in spaces where people are willing to show up honestly. That’s what community offers, and it matters more than we realise. You’re not here to improve the life that no longer fits. You’re here to choose one that does.

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Lana’s answers is their clarity. She is not talking about reinvention as a shiny new identity. She is talking about becoming unavailable for anything that keeps her small. That feels very different. Deeper. Braver. More honest.

And I keep coming back to this idea that identity work is legacy work.

How we live matters. What we choose matters. What we stop carrying matters. The way we honour our health, our truth, our time, our voice, our relationships, it all sends a message. To our children. To our communities. To the women walking beside us. To the future version of ourselves who is watching to see whether we will choose her.

There is something so freeing in Lana’s words: I no longer question my worth. I don’t have to search for it or prove it. She’s right here.

That is the kind of sentence a woman earns, and maybe that is the invitation of this decade. Not to become more acceptable. Not to become more productive. Not to become better at carrying what was never ours.

But to choose a life that finally fits.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still trying to optimise a life, role, or routine that no longer fits me?

• My Start: What would it look like to choose expansion without adding more noise?

• My Boundary: Where do I need to protect my time, health, and energy without apology?

• My Micro-decision: What small choice could help me hear myself more clearly again?

• My Practice: What helps me return to my body, my truth, and my own capacity?

Journal prompt: What am I still holding that was never mine to carry, and what would choosing differently make possible?

There’s a version of this where you read every word, nod along, maybe forward it to a friend. That’s lovely, and it’s enough.

But if some quiet part of you has been wanting more than words, a real conversation, someone in your corner for the rest of this chapter, that door is open now.

Midlife Circle Founder: four calls a year with me. Not forty more things to read.

→ Stop Reading Me. Start Talking to Me.

That’s what stayed with me reading ’s answers. She spent more than 30 years as a tech marketing leader, and in her mid-50s, she finished the book she first imagined decades earlier: REAL GIRLS GUIDE TO MIDLIFE. What I loved most about this interview is the way she speaks about midlife not as a reinvention into someone shiny and unrecognisable, but as a permission slip to become more fully who she already was.

That feels important because so much of the midlife conversation is built around becoming new: a new body, a new purpose, a new life, a new identity. But sometimes the deeper work is not to become someone else. It is to stop editing the woman you have always been.

What stayed with me most was Angela’s shift from managing everyone else’s expectations to standing firmly in her own decisions. That is no small thing.

So many women spend decades being the capable one, the reliable one, the one who can hold it all, sort it all, remember it all, absorb it all, and somehow still make it look manageable. And then one day, often somewhere around midlife, you realise that capable became a cage.

You realise you are tired, not because you are weak, but because you have been carrying roles that were never meant to become your whole identity.

I also loved her decision to sign up for drum lessons simply because she wanted to. There’s something so beautifully rebellious about that. Not productive, not strategic, not tied to a neat outcome, but just desire, curiosity, a woman reminding herself that she is still allowed to begin.

And then there’s that line: “Why not me?” Honestly, that may be one of the most powerful questions a woman can ask in midlife. Not from ego, but from possibility, from the part of us that has spent years watching other people take the risk, write the book, build the thing, speak the truth, and finally wonders what might happen if we stopped disqualifying ourselves.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I’m Angela Burk, a longtime (as in 30+ years) tech marketing leader and the author of REAL GIRLS GUIDE TO MIDLIFE, a book I first imagined more than twenty years ago and finally finished in my mid 50s. I’m living with more self-possession than I ever have before, trusting my own decisions, protecting my energy, and choosing what actually fits me now. Midlife, for me, isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about finally allowing myself to live as the person I always was, but didn’t fully give myself permission to be.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

How much freedom shows up once you stop managing everyone else’s expectations? I thought midlife might feel like narrowing. Instead, it feels like standing firmly with ten toes in my own decisions... and finally realising I’m allowed to do that.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Trying to be endlessly capable for everyone around me. I spent decades being the reliable one who could handle everything. Life gets lighter when you stop carrying roles that were never meant to be permanent.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

Finishing something I started more than twenty years ago. I’ve always told my boys that we finish what we start and that when we take a risk, we’re betting on ourselves. Writing REAL GIRLS GUIDE TO MIDLIFE meant putting my money where my mouth is and finally walking that talk, especially when there’s no guarantee it will work out.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

Protecting my time and emotional energy. I no longer feel responsible for managing everyone else’s comfort at the expense of my own.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

Deciding to write REAL GIRLS GUIDE TO MIDLIFE even without knowing how it would be received and signing up for drum lessons just because I wanted to. Both reminded me I’m still allowed to begin new things and take risks on myself.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Running and exercising. Moving my body clears my head, resets my energy, and reminds me I’m stronger than I think I am... physically and mentally.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That’s the beginning of becoming less relevant. Midlife is actually when I finally stopped editing myself, and it feels so freeing. Honestly, no wonder I was exhausted for so many decades.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

Perspective. I care less about being impressive and more about being real. That shift changes how I make decisions and how I spend my time.

At 50+, I am…

living brave by doing things even though (and sometimes because) they’re scary.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

There’s a powerful shift available in midlife, from “Why me?” or “I can’t do this” to “Why not me?” That question alone can change everything about what you allow yourself to try next.

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Angela’s answers is how much permission they hold. Permission to finish the thing, permission to stop being endlessly capable for everyone else, permission to protect your time and emotional energy, permission to run, drum, write, risk, and live a little less edited.

That last part really stays with me, because I think so much of midlife is about noticing where we have made ourselves more acceptable at the cost of being fully alive. Where we’ve softened our wants. Hidden our ambition. Delayed the thing because it felt too late, too risky, too uncertain, too impractical.

And yet, here is the truth I keep hearing from these women: the uncertainty does not disappear. You simply stop letting it decide for you.

Maybe that is what brave living actually is. Not waiting until you feel ready, but doing the thing because some part of you knows you’ll regret not trying.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still trying to be endlessly capable for everyone else?

• My Start: What unfinished idea, dream, or desire is asking for my attention again?

• My Boundary: Where do I need to protect my time and emotional energy without apology?

• My Micro-decision: What new thing could I begin simply because I want to?

• My Practice: What kind of movement helps me feel strong, clear, and more like myself?

Journal prompt: What would change if I stopped asking “Why me?” and started asking “Why not me?”

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

Robin calls this her “Third Act,” and you can feel the theatre in that phrase, because there’s nothing accidental about how she’s living it. At 52, she finally moved to the Connecticut shoreline she’d dreamed about since she was a little girl, a dream she’d postponed for decades, first for lack of money, then for her children, then for the quiet, invisible work of making sure her kids still had a father after divorce. She didn’t just move there. She kept going, and wrote, produced, and performed her own award-winning one-woman musical.

What struck me most was the line about narcissistic men. Not bitter, not guarded, just clear. Eighteen years single, and happier than she’s ever been with a man in the room. That’s not a woman who gave up on love. That’s a woman who finally trusts herself enough to know what she won’t tolerate again.

There’s a quiet rebellion running through her answers, in the boundary around weekends (”I shall not let others’ goals pull me off track from my own dreams”), in the gratitude practice that pulls her out of self-pity, in the flat refusal of the idea that anything is ever “too late.” This is a woman who has stopped asking permission.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I'm Robin Colucci, and as I will turn 62 this year, I am in the season of life I like to call my "Third Act."

What surprised you most about your 50s?

What surprised me about my 50s was that, for me, it was the decade when I really stepped into my power and made some lifelong dreams come true. For example, I'd wanted to live on the Connecticut Shoreline since I was a little girl, but youth, lack of funds, or commitment to making sure my kids had a relationship with their dad after we divorced all added up to my putting off that dream. And at 52, I moved to CT, bought a house near the beach, and am living my dream! And I didn't stop there. I resurrected another childhood dream to write, produce, and perform my own original music.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

I've stopped dating narcissistic men! My last relationship ended 18 years ago. And, so far, I have never been happier with a man in my life than I am right now without one. It doesn't mean I wouldn't consider another relationship, just no narcissists!

One thing you’re choosing instead:

I am choosing to focus my energy on my creativity. I wrote and performed an award-winning one-woman musical comedy at the United Solo Festival in NYC last year. I am also travelling more and enjoying time at home with my family. And loving my work!

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

Weekends are for me to relax, recuperate, and do whatever I want, including being a slug sometimes.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

I shall not let others' goals pull me off track from my own dreams.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Gratitude. Reminding myself of all the blessings in my life lifts me from anxiety or feeling sorry for myself when things don't go my way.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That there's any such thing as "too late." As long as I'm alive, there's time to give it a shot.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

Caring less about what other people think and focusing on how I see myself and discovering what I want

Complete this: At 50+, I am…

…a powerful, independent, happy, healthy, creative, joyful, playful, wealthy woman! And I am loved.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

The best is yet to come!

My Note to My Future Self

What stays with me from Robin’s story isn’t the house by the shore or the musical, as wonderful as both are. It’s the patience underneath them. She carried those dreams for decades, through marriage, divorce, raising children, building a life around everyone else’s needs, and never let them die. She just waited for her own season.

That’s a different kind of strength from the one we usually praise in midlife. Not reinvention as urgency, not some race to become someone new before it’s “too late,” but reinvention as faithfulness to a self she never stopped being, even when life asked her to set that self aside for a while.

And then there’s the boundary with men. I think a lot of us quietly understand that one. The relief of choosing peace over chemistry, solitude over settling, your own company over a man who makes you smaller.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: What dream have I postponed so long I’ve stopped admitting I still want it?

• My Start: Where could I bring more creativity back into my life, on no one’s schedule but my own?

• My Boundary: What kind of person or pattern am I no longer available for?

• My Micro-decision: Whose goals have I let pull me off track from my own?

• My Practice: What’s my version of gratitude — the thing that lifts me when self-pity creeps in?

Journal prompt: If I trusted, the way Robin does, that there’s no such thing as “too late,” what would I finally let myself begin?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer- audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me- the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

That’s what stayed with me, reading Dr Kristine Sickels’ answers. She spent more than twenty years in corporate leadership, building brands and leading teams, and now, in her 50s, she’s an entrepreneur, speaker, and author helping women use their voice with more confidence in the rooms that matter. What I loved most about her answers is how clearly they speak to the shift that so many women feel in midlife: the movement from proving to knowing. From building someone else’s vision to finally asking what you want to build with your own experience, gifts, and life force.

There’s no frantic reinvention here, no desperate “new chapter” performance, just the grounded power of a woman who has enough perspective now to know what aligns, what doesn’t, and what kind of legacy she actually wants to leave behind.

And maybe that’s what makes this conversation land so deeply. It reminds us that midlife is not only a time for reflection. It can also be a time for redirection, for choosing impact and income on your own terms, for deciding that your time, talents, and voice are too valuable to keep spending only in service of someone else’s bottom line.

What stayed with me most was the shift in the question she began asking herself, not “What am I going to do next?”, but “What can I do?” Such a small change on paper. Such a huge one in practice.

Because one question carries pressure, expectation, and the old habit of needing to have it all figured out immediately, the other opens the door to possibility, to imagination, to capacity, to a woman remembering that she is not trapped by what she has done before. That she still has agency, that she still gets to choose.

I also loved what she said about no longer taking opportunities just because they look impressive on a résumé or LinkedIn profile. That is such a clear midlife boundary. The older we get, the less appealing empty prestige becomes. You begin to feel the cost of misalignment more quickly. You begin to care less about appearances and more about whether the thing actually fits the life you are trying to live.

And then there is the wider truth running through all of it: that midlife is not the age to start playing safe. If anything, it may be the age where women are finally experienced enough to take the right kinds of risks.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I am Dr Kristine Sickels. I’m a former corporate executive who spent more than twenty years building brands and leading teams in the consumer products industry. In my late 40’s, I left corporate and am now an entrepreneur, speaker, and author. I’m in a season of designing the life I want to live. I am focused on prioritising my health, investing my time and talents into the next generation, and the legacy I would like to leave. I’m writing a book about how to use your voice at work and help women show up with clarity and confidence in the rooms that matter.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

The clarity that comes with age. In my 30s and 40s, I was building my expertise and focused on proving what I was capable of. Now at 52, I know what I stand for, what I’m good at, and where I want to spend my time. This clarity is incredibly freeing and drives my decisions.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Spending all my energy building value for someone else’s bottom line. After decades in corporate leadership, I’m now focused on building work that creates income for me and helps other women use their voice and expertise to shape the lives and careers they want.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

Work that creates both income and impact. I’m focused on building things that use my experience to help other women use their expertise and voice to shape the lives they want.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

From a career perspective, I no longer take on opportunities just because they look impressive on a resume or LinkedIn profile. If it doesn’t align with my values, my time, or the life I’m building, it’s a no.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

A shift in the question I was asking myself. After leaving corporate, everyone kept asking, “What are you going to do next?” and I started asking myself the same thing with a lot of pressure and anxiety behind it. But one day, after much reflection and some time away from work, my mindset flipped from “What am I going to do?” to “What can I do?” That small change opened the door to dreaming again and eventually led me to the work I’m doing now.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Prioritising a long walk or a workout. It’s something I didn’t consistently make time for earlier in my career, but now I see how much it clears my head and helps me stay grounded.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That we’re supposed to play it safe by this stage of life.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

Clarity. I’m clearer about my values, my voice, and the kind of impact I want to have.

At 50+, I am…

…clear about my values, my voice, my experience, and the impact I want to make.

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Kristine’s answers is their steadiness. They remind me that clarity is not loud, but it changes everything. It changes how you choose work, how you spend your time, how you define success, and how willing you are to say no to what looks good on paper but feels wrong in your body.

I think so many women spend their earlier decades proving; proving they are capable, reliable, smart, worthy, useful. And then midlife arrives and asks a deeper question: “Yes, but what do you actually want to do with all of that?”

That is where this chapter gets interesting, because the point is not simply to have experience, the point is to use it, to turn what you know into something that matters to you. Something that creates not only income, but meaning. Not only achievement, but legacy.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still spending my energy building value for something that doesn’t truly belong to me?

• My Start: What would it look like to build work that creates both income and impact?

• My Boundary: What opportunities look good on paper but don’t align with the life I actually want?

• My Micro-decision: What would change if I stopped asking what I should do next and started asking what I can do?

• My Practice: What helps clear my head and bring me back to what matters?

Journal prompt: Where in my life am I being invited to stop proving and start choosing more intentionally?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

Midlife Circle Founder: four calls a year with me. Not forty more things to read.

→ Stop Reading Me. Start Talking to Me.

That’s what stayed with me reading ’s answers. She describes this season as one of expansion, refinement, and clarity, and honestly, you can feel all three. There’s no scrambling in her words, no trying to convince anyone, just the voice of a woman who has stopped outsourcing her authority and started building her life from a much truer place. The kind of life that is not just successful on paper, but aligned in the body, grounded in self-trust, and strong enough to hold real joy.

What I loved most about this interview is that it completely refuses the tired story that midlife is a decline. Terry talks about feeling more powerful, more physically strong, more stable, and more herself in her 50s than ever before. And there is something so refreshing in that, because women deserve more examples of what it looks like to get older without shrinking, to get older and become clearer, stronger, more honest, more available for what is real and less available for what isn’t.

And maybe that’s the deeper invitation here, not just to admire that kind of confidence from afar, but to remember that it is available to us too.

What stayed with me most was her answer about strength training, not because it was trendy, not because it sounded impressive, but because of the way she described it: everything was waiting on the other side of that decision she had avoided for 20 years. That landed.

Because so often, there is one thing in midlife we know would change us if we finally committed to it: the thing we keep circling, the thing we say we’ll get to later, the thing that quietly holds more power than we realise. And then one day, if we let ourselves, we cross the threshold and realise it was never just about the thing itself. It was about who we became by saying yes to it.

I also loved her bluntness about no longer caring what other people think. There’s something so clean about that energy, not cruel, not closed off, just free. Free from the endless need for outside validation, free to choose alignment, meaningful connection, and what actually feels true.

And that line about learning not to overextend herself matters too. Because midlife clarity is not only about knowing what you want, it’s also about knowing what you’re no longer willing to promise, tolerate, or force.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I am , a wellness coach, entrepreneur & founder of THOR - The House of Rose. I’m in a season of expansion, refinement, and clarity. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone, and I’m focused on building a life and a business that reflects who I am and how I want to live.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

How much more powerful and clear I feel. I think we’re taught to expect a decline, but what I've experienced is a deeper sense of alignment, confidence and self-trust. And in fact, more physical strength. I am doing numbers in the gym I’ve never seen before :)

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Seeking other people’s opinions or validations. How can I say this nicely? I just don’t care anymore. lol! Letting go of this has been one of the most freeing shifts of my life.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

Alignment, meaningful conversations, connection beyond the surface, what feels true to me.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

I have learned not to overextend myself. No promises. No obligations, I don’t feel I’ll be able to meet.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

It wasn’t a micro decision, but this is what changed everything: strength training! It has revolutionised my life. Everything was waiting on the other side of that decision I had avoided for 20 years.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Movement. Any time - yoga, pilates, walking, running, jumping rope, weights. It is my anchor both physically and mentally.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That it’s too late to change. Midlife is my favourite decade! I’ve never felt better, more stable in every possible way. I pivoted careers in midlife, changed my lifestyle in midlife and look forward to more adventures in my 50’s.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

Clarity. You know who you are, what you want, and what you’re no longer available for.

At 50+, I am…

… finally just getting started. :))

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

Everything up to this point was preparing you to be here, right now. You have all the tools, all the knowledge, and all the experience to be a superpower!

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Terry’s answers is the certainty in them, not rigid certainty, not ego, but the deeper kind. The kind that comes when a woman has done enough inner and outer work to know herself, trust herself, and stop negotiating with the truth of what she wants.

There is something deeply reassuring about hearing a woman say that her 50s are her favourite decade. That she has changed careers, changed her lifestyle, and still feels like she is just getting started. Because I think so many women are unconsciously bracing for midlife to take something from them, when in reality it may be the decade that finally gives them back to themselves.

And maybe that is the real power of this season, not perfection, not performance, just clarity: in the body, in the mind, in the life. A woman finally strong enough, honest enough, and self-trusting enough to build what actually fits.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still seeking opinions or validation that I no longer need?

• My Start: What would it look like to choose more alignment and less performance this week?

• My Boundary: Where am I overextending myself out of habit, guilt, or old expectations?

• My Micro-decision: What is one thing I know could change my life if I finally committed to it?

• My Practice: What kind of movement helps me feel most anchored in myself?

Journal prompt: What if this decade is not asking me to decline, but to become more powerful, clear, and fully myself than ever before?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

That’s what stayed with me reading Dr Chonta Haynes. She speaks about this season as one of transition, and you can feel that in her answers. Not shakily or uncertainly, but in the way of a woman who knows she is still moving, still becoming, still being called into more. What I loved most here is that her answers hold both the tenderness and the truth of midlife. The grief of a marriage ending after almost 30 years. The quiet exhaustion of always picking up the pieces for everyone else, the growing refusal to keep rescuing grown adults from their own choices. And alongside all of that, a deep knowing: I am still here, I am still valuable, and I still have so much to give.

There’s no shrinking in these answers. No apologising for wisdom, no buying into the tired story that midlife is where women fade into the background. If anything, this feels like the opposite: a woman stepping more fully into her purpose, her peace, and her own authority.

What stayed with me most was her honesty around worth. That line about “realising that when your opinion is not valued, or your presence is not wanted, it reflects the other person’s inability to recognise your worth, but it does not devalue you” really landed. Because how many women spend years internalising rejection, dismissal, or disrespect as though it must mean something is lacking in them? There is such freedom in finally understanding otherwise.

I also felt the strength in what she says about money. That boundary matters, especially for women who have spent years being the fixer, the helper, the rescuer, the one who absorbs other people’s consequences in the name of love, loyalty, or responsibility. There comes a point where wisdom says no more, not from bitterness, but from self-respect.

And then there is the bigger truth running through all of this: that midlife is not where purpose ends, it is where it often sharpens. Where you stop waiting to be chosen, stop minimising your gifts, and start recognising that time is too precious to waste.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I’m Dr Chonta Haynes, known as the Destiny Designer and Biblical Money Management expert. Professionally, I’ve been called the one-stop shop for faith-based authors, speakers and coaches ready to 5x their income and impact. Personally, I’m a woman of resilience and faith who has overcome much in life, yet I still expect to make a greater impact in serving those around me. This season of life is transitioning.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

What surprised me most is that I’m not looking old or feeling old like I thought. I think age is relative, and when we are young, 50 is when we put people in the old folks’ home. I will say I experienced heartbreak in my 50’s when I thought those days were over. My marriage ended after 29 years and 11 months. Just before turning 60.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

I stopped always picking up the pieces for everyone else. This is a work in process. But owning my responsibility without needing others' approval is a blessing.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

At this stage, I’m choosing to prioritise myself. Peace is the goal, and really reflecting on all that I have accomplished while maintaining a bucket list. I gotta get to that list!!

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

My non-negotiable boundary is money. We all make financial mistakes, but adults have to own up to their own, and I am no longer the rescuer.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

My micro decision was to accept that when my opinion is valued, or my presence isn’t wanted, it reflects that the other person doesn't see my worth, but it doesn’t devalue me. I’ve learned to step into knowing my worth and then adding tax.

One practice that keeps you steady:

I play solitaire every night before going to bed. I also occasionally do word puzzles, but they ground me at the end of the day.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

I don’t believe that we are done at midlife. I believe in many instances, we’ve only just begun to truly walk into our purpose. The catch is that we don’t have time to waste, so we need to get to it.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

The best thing about being in my now 60’s... I can say things from a place of wisdom and don’t need to apologise for it.

At 50+, I am…

At 50+, I am the highest expression of God’s divine genius, and I still have so much to give. I am making an impact and enjoying watching others become their unstoppable selves. And if I have anything to do with it... I’ll have a hand in that!

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Chonta’s answers is that they remind me that midlife is not only a season of reflection, but of reclamation: reclaiming your worth, reclaiming your peace, reclaiming the energy you once spent rescuing, over-giving, or proving. There is something so powerful about a woman who has suffered, survived, and still believes there is more impact left in her. More purpose, more service, more life.

I think that’s one of the most beautiful truths of this season, not that heartbreak disappears, not that pain never comes, but that even after all of it, you can still know who you are. You can still honour your gifts, you can still become more of yourself, not less.

And maybe that is what real midlife power looks like: wisdom without apology, boundaries without guilt, purpose without delay.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still picking up the pieces for people who need to own their own choices?

• My Start: What would it look like to prioritise my peace more intentionally now?

• My Boundary: Where do I need to stop rescuing, especially around money, energy, or responsibility?

• My Micro-decision: What would change if I fully believed that someone else’s failure to see my worth does not reduce it?

• My Practice: What simple ritual helps me come back to myself at the end of the day?

Journal prompt: Where in my life am I being asked to stop apologising for my wisdom and step more fully into my purpose?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

That’s what I felt reading ’s answers. She turns 51 this year and describes this as the most rewarding and satisfying season of her life. What I loved most about her answers is how naturally they hold both strength and softness. There’s the practical side of midlife here: sleep, strength training, protein, yoga, stress resilience, taking care of a body that has different needs now. But there’s also something more expansive underneath it all: gratitude, confidence, curiosity. A sense that this decade, rather than narrowing life, has opened it up again.

And maybe that’s what stayed with me most. The quiet delight of a woman realising that she is not past her best. She is, in so many ways, living it now.

What stayed with me most was her answer about strength, not just physical strength, although that’s clearly part of it. The deeper kind, too. The kind that grows when you keep showing up for yourself over time, when you choose the habits that support you, when you protect your sleep, care for your body, and stop believing the old stories that told women over 50 they were somehow past their usefulness, their vitality, or their becoming.

I also loved the honesty around her health. That shift back to eating meat after over 30 years as a vegetarian, not because she wanted a dramatic lifestyle overhaul, but because her body needed something different. There’s something very midlife in that, too. The moment when listening to your body becomes more important than staying attached to who you used to be.

And then there’s the line that this decade feels like her 20s again, wide open and ripe with possibility. I loved that. Because how many women quietly assume their 50s will feel like a closing down, when in fact they may feel like a second opening, this time with far more wisdom in hand?

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

Hello! My name is Susan Campbell, and I’m in the most rewarding and satisfying season of my life (I turn 51 this year).

What surprised you most about your 50s?

That I would have more strength and confidence now than I ever had when I was younger (and curvier).

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

I gave up drinking years ago, and it’s made a huge difference in how I feel, how I sleep, and my overall resilience to stress and anxiety.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

Strength training. I’ve found that even 5 minutes a day makes a huge difference over the course of 12 months.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

Sleep; do not expect me to attend any event that would keep me up past my bedtime.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

I started eating meat again after being a vegetarian for over 30 years. This change was not by choice, as I was diagnosed with an IBD last summer (beans and vegetables are not on the list of things to eat during flare-ups), but I’m surprised at how my body has positively responded to the increase in protein. Plus, my A1C has gone down.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Yoga. I’ve been practising for over 25 years. It’s the one practice I always return to to stay strong, steady and grounded.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That I will be nothing more than a dried-up, shrivelled old woman who is no longer useful to society.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

The gratitude you find all around you when you open your eyes to it.

Complete this: At 50+, I am…

…better than I ever expected in every way possible. Despite challenges, I am the proud single parent of two stupendous teenagers. I run two successful businesses, and I’ve finally found the love of my life. Overall, I enjoy my days so much more now than when I was younger, and I’m curious to see where this decade will lead me. Much like my 20s, it feels wide open and ripe with possibilities.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

I wouldn’t have believed this in my 40s, but the best is truly yet to come.

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Susan’s answers is the sense of quiet abundance in them, not abundance as in endless ease, but abundance in the truest sense: enjoying your days, feeling stronger in yourself, noticing the gratitude that exists all around you, and allowing yourself to believe that the best may not be behind you after all.

There’s something deeply reassuring in hearing a woman say she has more confidence now than she ever did when she was younger. Because I think so many women are sold a version of youth that centres beauty, energy, and external desirability, but not self-possession. Not groundedness, not the kind of strength that comes from actually knowing yourself.

And maybe that’s one of the gifts of this season. You stop fearing the decade and start meeting it: body, truth, change, joy, all of it. And from there, life can open in ways you didn’t expect.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: What old story about ageing, usefulness, or becoming am I ready to stop believing?

• My Start: What small daily habit could make me feel stronger over the next 12 months?

• My Boundary: Where do I need to protect my sleep and energy more seriously?

• My Micro-decision: What does my body need from me now that I may have been resisting?

• My Practice: What helps me feel steady, grounded, and more connected to myself?

Journal prompt: What if this decade is not a winding down, but a wide-open season of strength, gratitude, and possibility?

85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.

The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.

And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.

You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.

Step inside →

That’s what I felt reading ’s answers. She runs a small online business called Mr Mintz, creating digital craft templates for children, and six years ago, she left corporate life to build something of her own from home. What I loved most about her answers is that they feel so grounded in the reality of modern midlife. Children still need you. Business models are changing. Technology is moving fast. Your body is quietly refusing to be managed the way it once was. And in the middle of all that, the work of trying to build a life that is both sustainable and true.

There’s something deeply relatable in the way she speaks about this season not as arrival, but as reassembly. Because that’s often what midlife is, isn’t it? Not becoming someone unrecognisable, but gathering the pieces again with more honesty: keeping what still fits, reworking what doesn’t, building from lived experience rather than fantasy.

And maybe that’s what stayed with me most here: the sense that this decade is not about coasting, it’s about staying awake, staying adaptable, staying willing to rebuild when life, business, motherhood, and your own body all start asking different things of you.

What stayed with me most was her description of no longer treating exhaustion as proof that she was working hard enough. That landed.

Because so many women, especially women building something while also holding family life together, have been conditioned to wear depletion like evidence. Evidence that we care, evidence that we’re committed, evidence that we’re doing enough. But there comes a point where exhaustion stops being a badge and starts being a cost.

I also loved her idea of choosing a longer rhythm, not the endless sprint, not the adrenaline-fuelled version of success, but something steadier. More sustainable, more honest about what the body can handle and what real life actually requires. That feels deeply wise to me.

And then there was the image that stayed with me most: a woman sitting in the dark in 2020, everyone else asleep, writing two columns on a piece of paper: reasons to go back, reasons not to, no grand performance, no dramatic speech, just one quiet decision that changed everything.

That’s the kind of moment I think midlife is full of. The decisions that don’t look cinematic at the time, but end up shaping the whole next chapter.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I’m Lena, and I run a small online business called Mr Mintz. We create digital craft templates for young kids.

I turned 50 last year. That number doesn’t quite match how I feel inside, especially when your children are 8 and 12 and need you in very everyday ways.

Six years ago, I left a corporate job and started building this business from my kitchen table. Digital products, no inventory, no shipping, it felt like a solid plan. And for a while it was. But now the rules are shifting again: AI, search algorithms, the way people find and buy things online. What felt stable suddenly needs rethinking.

So I’d say I’m in a season of reassembly. Less about arriving somewhere, more about figuring out what the next version looks like.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

The body. Not in some dramatic way, more in a quiet, non-negotiable way where it starts setting its own terms. Little sleep, running on stress and adrenaline, that used to work. It doesn’t anymore.

That was the biggest surprise: realising that if I want to stay sharp and present in my own life, I have to take care of myself on purpose. Not as self-care theatre, but as a practical decision.

The other surprise is that 50 turned out to be nothing like the faraway, narrowing age I once imagined. It feels entirely possible to rebuild a business, pick up new interests, and start over. You just have to be more honest about what your body and mind actually need along the way.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Treating exhaustion as proof that I’m working hard enough. For years, I built things late at night; it was the only time the house was quiet, and I could think. I haven’t turned into someone who wakes up at 5 a.m. and feels amazing. But I’ve stopped believing that pushing past the point of real fatigue is an achievement.

I can feel now when I’ve crossed the line from productive to useless. At that point, it makes more sense to close the laptop than to keep pretending.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

A longer rhythm. I used to live in a kind of endless sprint, everything urgent, everything now. I’m trying to work more like a long-distance runner: serious and consistent, but not built on fumes.

And the funny thing is, it’s more productive. When I’m depleted, I work slowly and make mistakes that I have to fix the next day. When I’m rested, I do more in less time, and I do it better.

Underneath that, I’m also choosing my family more deliberately. The work matters, but it doesn’t get to take everything first.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

My time, and where it goes. I don’t say yes out of obligation anymore. Not to work that drains me, not to conversations that leave me empty, not to dynamics built on pressure or unnecessary control. I used to tolerate all of that. Now I don’t.

It’s not about being strict. I’ve just become calmer about what I want to be part of, and what I don’t. My kids are 8 and 11. That window of them actually wanting to be around me is not that long, and I’m choosing to protect it.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

One sentence I finally admitted to myself: I’m not going back. It was 2020. My maternity leave was ending, and the sensible plan was obvious: a serious corporate job in a large IT company, a stable salary, and two small children. Walking away in the middle of a pandemic felt almost irresponsible.

I sat down one night with a sheet of paper and two columns: reasons to go back, reasons not to. I wasn’t thinking about purpose or reinvention. I was thinking about rent and kindergarten fees. But somewhere in those lists, one thing became clear: if I went back, I’d be choosing safety over a life that actually felt possible.

That decision led to my Etsy shop, then to my website, then to everything that came after. At the time, it felt like a leap into nowhere. Looking back, it was just one quiet choice made after everyone else had gone to sleep.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Routine, mostly built around my kids. Getting them to school, packing lunches, cooking. All of that creates a structure that holds the day together, even when everything else feels uncertain.

Cooking helps the most, oddly enough. It’s repetitive, physical, and predictable. You follow the steps, and something real comes out of it. That kind of grounded, almost automatic action brings me back faster than anything abstract. Sometimes it’s even simpler, just a cup of coffee in silence.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

By 50, the structure is built, and you mostly maintain what you have. The opposite turned out to be true. The world doesn’t slow down just because you’ve reached a certain age. If anything, you need to learn and adapt faster than before. AI alone has completely reshuffled what’s possible for a small business; tools that once belonged to large companies are now on my laptop. That’s exciting, but it also means what I built yesterday may not work tomorrow.

So the belief I’ve let go of is that midlife is about coasting. For me, it’s been about staying in motion and being willing to rebuild.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

Internal freedom. My life is full, the responsibilities are real, but inside, there’s a clarity I didn’t have before. I know much faster now what feels like mine and what doesn’t. I don’t waste energy trying to fit into things that weren’t made for me.

And I haven’t become quieter in the sense of wanting less. New technologies genuinely excite me. I love starting things. I get that feeling of “Wait, this is incredible” more often than you’d expect at this age.

Less need for approval, more honesty with myself, and a real appetite for what’s next. That’s the best part.

At 50+, I am…

… the woman who sat in the dark with a sheet of paper chose the scarier column, and would do it again.

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Lena’s answers is how ordinary and extraordinary they feel at the same time. Ordinary in the sense that they are rooted in real life: children, cooking, coffee, work, fatigue, uncertainty, the small domestic structures that hold a day together. But extraordinary in the sense that she has chosen to keep listening to herself inside all of it: to keep adapting, to keep building, to keep saying yes to what feels more alive, even when it’s less guaranteed.

That line about internal freedom really stayed with me, too. Because maybe that is one of the greatest gifts of this decade. Not a life without responsibility, but a life with more honesty inside it: less performing, less trying to squeeze yourself into shapes that were never designed for you. More clarity about what feels like yours.

And maybe that’s the real reinvention, not becoming someone else, but becoming more deeply loyal to yourself.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still treating exhaustion as proof that I’m doing enough?

• My Start: What would a longer, steadier rhythm look like in my life right now?

• My Boundary: Where do I need to protect my time and energy more deliberately?

• My Micro-decision: What quiet choice have I already made in my heart that I now need to honour in real life?

• My Practice: What simple, grounding routine helps bring me back to myself?

Journal prompt: Where in my life am I being asked not to coast, but to reassemble and rebuild more truthfully?

If you’d like to be part of the ‘85 Weeks to Fifty' series, or you know a woman whose voice would feel like medicine here, email me at hello@kiransinghuk.com. And if you’re reading this thinking, same, tell me in the comments: What is your takeaway from this interview?

There is something especially powerful about a woman who has lost so much, a long-term relationship, her mother, her job, even the identity she thought held her together, and can still speak about this season with energy, hope, and a sense of newness. Not because any of it was easy, not because grief neatly wrapped itself up and made way for reinvention, but because somewhere inside all that loss, she found something she may not have fully met before: her own resilience.

What I loved most about these answers is their honesty. They don’t pretend that the beginning of her 50s was glamorous. They tell the truth about pain, identity loss, and the strange gift of a reset you never would have chosen but ended up needing. And that feels deeply midlife to me. Sometimes the life you’re meant for does not begin with clarity. Sometimes it begins with collapse, and what comes after is more aligned than anything that came before.

There’s also something beautifully grown-woman about the boundaries here. Caring less about what everyone thinks. Choosing to be around people who genuinely support and uplift. Protecting work-life balance. Trusting the process instead of trying to control every step of it. That is not giving up, that is wisdom.

What stayed with me most was the phrase: “The reset I didn’t even realise I needed”, because how many women could say that about midlife, if they were honest?

A season comes along and strips away what was familiar: a relationship ends, a parent dies, work shifts, the old identity no longer fits. And for a while, it can feel like life is falling apart. But later, often much later, you look back and realise something else was happening too. You were being redirected, reintroduced to yourself. Asked to build a life that was truer, braver, and less dictated by expectation.

I also loved the line about no longer giving a sh*t about what everyone else thinks. There is something so freeing about that kind of clarity, not in a reckless way, but in a focused way. A woman decides that only certain voices get access to her inner world. That kind of discernment changes everything.

And then there’s the beach walk with the dog, deep breaths, gratitude, and a reminder of how lucky she is. There’s something very beautiful in that, too. The reminder that even after heartbreak and upheaval, life can still feel expansive. Still worth showing up for. Still capable of surprising you.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

My name is Lisa Hill, I’m 53 and feeling 35. I’m at the start of an exciting new chapter, working with female entrepreneurs, and I’m absolutely loving it. It truly feels like the beginning of a brand-new journey.

What surprised you most about your 50s?

My 50s didn’t start well. I experienced a lot of loss in my long-term relationship, my mother, and my job. It felt like I had lost my entire identity. What surprised me most, though, was discovering my own resilience. I also learned the importance of allowing myself to fully feel the grief and pain and move through it. In the end, it turned out to be the reset I didn’t even realise I needed.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Giving a sh*t about what everyone else thinks. Or, more accurately, I only care about the opinions of the people who truly matter to me. Letting go of that has made me more energised, focused, and confident.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

I’m choosing to spend my time and energy only with people who genuinely support and uplift one another. Everything else is just noise.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

Protecting my work–life balance. I still work hard, but now it’s on my terms.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

Choosing to trust the process (not to try and control it!) and having the courage to take the leap and change my path.

One practice that keeps you steady:

Taking an early morning beach walk with my dog, breathing deeply, being grateful, and reminding myself how lucky I am.

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

That a woman over 50 is “old”.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

Confidence. Owning who I am. And finally, people have stopped asking me about children! Don’t get me wrong, I love kids, but my 30s were tough with constant questions about marriage, family, and being labelled “the career one!”

Complete this: At 50+, I am…

Braver, more ambitious (in a healthy way), energised and happier in both my professional and personal life than I ever thought possible. Sure, some days it’s scary and uncertain, but I’m all in!

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

It’s never too late to change your course, to not just dream, but to go after those dreams. Take the leap. The time is now.

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about these answers is how much life is in them, not untouched life, not polished life, but real life. The kind that breaks you open, teaches you things you never asked to learn, and then hands you the chance to begin again with more self-trust than before.

I think this is one of the truths women need to hear more often: losing what once defined you does not mean you are lost forever. Sometimes it is exactly what makes room for the woman you were always meant to become.

And there is something deeply powerful about a woman over 50 who knows she is not old, not finished, not fading, but just getting started differently. Braver, more energised, more honest about what matters, more willing to leap.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still giving too much power to other people’s opinions?

• My Start: What would it look like to spend more time with people who genuinely support and uplift me?

• My Boundary: Where do I need to protect my work-life balance more fiercely?

• My Micro-decision: What would change if I stopped trying to control the whole process and simply trusted the next step?

• My Practice: What simple ritual helps me feel grounded, grateful, and connected to my life?

Journal prompt: What if this chapter is not the aftermath of loss, but the beginning of the life I was always meant to live?

If you’d like to be part of the ‘85 Weeks to Fifty' series, or you know a woman whose voice would feel like medicine here, email me at hello@kiransinghuk.com. And if you’re reading this thinking, same, tell me in the comments: What is your takeaway from this interview?

That’s what stayed with me reading Kerry Farrell’s answers. She’s turning 54, she says this is the best season of her life so far, and honestly, you can feel that in the way she speaks. Not because everything sounds polished or perfect, but because there’s a grounded kind of joy in her words. The kind that comes when a woman has lived enough life to know what hurts, what heals, what drains, and what finally feels like freedom.

What I loved most about this interview is how clearly it speaks to reinvention, real reinvention, not the glossy kind people talk about in captions, but the kind that asks something of you. The kind that requires courage, effort, honesty, and a willingness to stop living as the version of yourself other people expected.

And maybe that’s why her answers land so strongly. They remind us that midlife is not a sentence. It’s not a slow fade; it can be the exact moment a woman starts telling the truth about what she wants and actually builds a life around it.

What stayed with me most was the simplicity of her story. Twenty years in one industry: a scroll through Facebook, an advert for a divorce coach training, a decision, and then, a completely different life.

I love that, because it reminds me that not every turning point arrives with some grand cinematic moment. Sometimes it’s ordinary, quiet, easy to miss if you’re not paying attention. But one small yes can still change everything.

I also really felt the clarity in what she says about sobriety, loving her body, and no longer wasting time on toxic family members. That is grown-woman energy. The kind that doesn’t need to justify itself, the kind that understands life is too precious to keep pouring yourself into things that diminish you.

And there’s something deeply moving about her saying she is finally happy for the first time in her life. That lands, because so many women quietly believe they should have figured it all out by now, or that if happiness hasn’t come yet, maybe it never will. But Kerry’s answers tell a different story. One where happiness isn’t late, it’s just arrived through a different door than expected.

Who are you, and what season of life are you in?

I’m Kerry Farrell, divorce coach and Founder of Team Rebuild, an online support group for men navigating separation and divorce. I’m 54, and this is the best season of my life so far!!

What surprised you most about your 50s?

How much I ache if I don’t keep fit! But also that it’s not too late to reinvent yourself if you really want to and put in the effort. I changed from 20 years in waste management to being a divorce coach. I’ve never been happier.

One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):

Drinking alcohol. Sobriety is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

One thing you’re choosing instead:

To love my body the way it is, and to look after it.

One boundary you now honour, no apology:

Not to waste my time on toxic family members.

One micro-decision that changed everything:

Deciding to scroll through Facebook and finding the advert for the training for divorce coaches

One practice that keeps you steady:

Not drinking alcohol

One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:

Midlife is not old. It can actually be a door opening to new beginnings, to a better future.

The best thing about being in your 50s:

The realisation that I can finally be who I really want to be. Not who others want me to be.

At 50+, I am…

Strong, I am determined, but most of all, I am finally happy for the first time in my life.

This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:

This is not old age. This is a new beginning. This can be the start of a whole new you. Take every opportunity you are offered. And live the way YOU want to live.

My Note to My Future Self

What I love about Kerry’s answers is the hope in them, not vague hope, not wishful thinking, but real hope. The kind that comes from a woman who has actually changed her life and can say, with her whole chest, that this season is better than what came before.

I think so many women need to hear that. That fifty-something is not too late, not too old, not the end of your becoming, that your body may need more care, yes. That some things may ache more, yes. But that your life can still open, your work can still change, your joy can still deepen, your happiness can still surprise you.

And maybe that’s one of the greatest gifts of midlife. You finally realise you do not have to keep being who you have been just because that’s who other people know.

If you’re following along this week

• My Stop: Where am I still wasting time, energy, or loyalty on people or patterns that hurt me?

• My Start: What would it look like to love my body as it is, and care for it accordingly?

• My Boundary: Who am I no longer willing to let drain or disturb my peace?

• My Micro-decision: What small yes could open a completely new path for me?

• My Practice: What keeps me strong, steady, and more like myself?

Journal prompt: If this really is a new beginning, what kind of woman do I want to be from here?

If you’d like to be part of the ‘85 Weeks to Fifty' series, or you know a woman whose voice would feel like medicine here, email me at hello@kiransinghuk.com. And if you’re reading this thinking, same, tell me in the comments: What is your takeaway from this interview?