Enter , founder of Monaco Meraki, who views personal style not as a trend to follow or a performance to execute, but as an act of fundamental coherence. Having built her business following her own profound season of reinvention as a single mother in her thirties, Carolina’s Wardrobe Architect Method addresses the deep emotional geometry of dressing. She gently strips away the false narrative that our changing bodies are a problem to be solved, urging us to stop shopping for aspirational phantoms and start dressing the woman who is actually living here, right now.

In this conversation, Carolina reframes clothing as a tool for presence rather than performance. She offers a practical, deeply compassionate blueprint for auditing our wardrobes, releasing stored guilt, and cultivating an effortless elegance that allows our outside to finally match our inside.

You talk about style being about coherence and having your outside match your inside. What does that mean to you, and why do you think getting dressed can have such an impact on how a woman feels about herself?

For me, coherence is that lovely feeling when you look in the mirror and recognise yourself because what you’re wearing feels right for the woman you are.

I think we underestimate how much our clothes affect us. We spend so much time in them! They accompany us into meetings, on dates, through difficult conversations, and into new chapters of our lives.

And when something feels off, we notice. We spend the day pulling at our trousers, adjusting our jacket, or wondering whether we’ve got the outfit completely wrong.

I want women to have that mental space back.

When your wardrobe reflects who you are, getting dressed becomes so much easier. You stop worrying so much about what you’re wearing and get on with whatever you actually want to do.

That’s what I mean by coherence. Your clothes are working with you, rather than making you question yourself before you’ve even left the house.

So many women reach midlife and realise their wardrobe reflects an older version of themselves, or a version of themselves they thought they were supposed to be. How can a woman begin to identify the woman she is now and let that guide the way she dresses?

I would start by asking her to forget about fashion for a moment. Seriously!

Before we talk about clothes, I want to know what her life looks like today. What does she do? Where does she go? What does she enjoy? How does she want to feel when she walks into a room?

Because sometimes we’re still shopping for a woman who doesn’t actually exist anymore.

Perhaps she had a corporate career and now runs her own business. Perhaps her children have grown up. Perhaps she’s been through a divorce, moved countries, or simply reached a point where she thinks, “Hang on, what do I actually want?”

I think midlife is a wonderful opportunity to ask those questions.

Then we look at her wardrobe. Not to throw everything away, but to understand which pieces still belong in her life and which ones she’s holding on to out of habit.

And here’s the interesting part: sometimes the woman she is today is already in there. She just hasn’t given herself permission to dress like her yet.

Your Wardrobe Architect Method starts with what a woman already owns rather than sending her shopping. What have you learned about why women can have a wardrobe full of clothes and still feel like they have nothing to wear?

I could talk about this ALL day!

One of the biggest things I’ve noticed is that women often buy individual pieces without thinking about how those pieces will work together.

They see a beautiful blouse, buy it, bring it home, and then realise they have absolutely nothing they want to wear it with. So they buy something else.

And suddenly, they have a wardrobe full of lovely clothes but very few actual outfits.

There’s also an emotional side to it. We buy things for the woman we want to become, the life we imagine having, or because we think we should own them.

My approach is to understand those patterns first.

Then comes my favourite part: taking what a woman already owns and creating outfits she would never have thought of herself. I teach her why they work, how to repeat the process, and what she genuinely needs, if anything.

I don’t want to hand someone 30 outfits and disappear. I want her to open her wardrobe six months later and still know exactly what she’s doing.

For a woman who wants to create a wardrobe that feels comfortable, stylish, and elegant, while genuinely reflecting who she is today, what are your best tips for creating that kind of wardrobe without constantly buying more?

First, stop shopping for a little while. Your wardrobe deserves a proper introduction before you invite any more clothes into it!

Start by looking at what you actually wear. Not what you wish you wore, or what you bought because someone on Instagram looked fabulous in it.

What do you reach for on an ordinary Thursday?

Those pieces will tell you a lot about your real preferences.

Next, experiment. Try different combinations, play with proportions, add accessories, and see how many outfits you can create from the same pieces.

And please, pay attention to fit. A simple pair of trousers that fits beautifully can do far more for an outfit than an expensive designer piece that doesn’t sit properly. That’s elegance.

Finally, before buying anything new, ask yourself: Can I wear this with at least three things I already own? If the answer is no, think twice.

Body shape and proportions can change as we move through midlife, and sometimes our relationship with our changing body changes too. How can women dress their bodies with confidence without falling into the trap of trying to hide themselves?

I wish more women understood that their bodies are not the problem. Sometimes it’s simply the clothes!

Our bodies change throughout our lives. That’s normal. But we can be incredibly hard on ourselves when the trousers we’ve owned for ten years suddenly don’t fit the way they used to.

And what do we do? We blame our bodies.

I would much rather help a woman understand her proportions, discover the cuts that feel comfortable and flattering to her, and learn how to create balance through her outfits.

I also think it’s important to separate dressing for yourself from dressing according to someone else’s rules.

If you love your waist, let’s celebrate it. If you prefer a relaxed silhouette, wonderful! There isn’t one correct way to dress a particular body shape.

Your body has carried you through an extraordinary amount of life.

The least we can do is stop asking it to squeeze into clothes that no longer serve it.

You describe colour as a strategic tool rather than simply a matter of personal taste. How can understanding the colours that work for us change not only our wardrobe, but the way we are perceived and the way we show up in the world?

Colour is fascinating because it can change the entire feeling of an outfit without changing anything else.

You can wear exactly the same suit in black, navy, cream, or bright red, and each version communicates something different.

That’s why I look at colour from two perspectives.

First, there’s the personal side: which colours complement your natural colouring, make you feel wonderful, and genuinely appeal to you?

Then there’s the strategic side: what do you want your clothes to communicate?

For example, a woman might want to look authoritative in a boardroom but approachable when meeting potential clients. We can use colour, alongside fit and styling, to help create those different impressions.

But I never want colour analysis to become another set of rules that makes women feel restricted.

If you absolutely adore a colour that isn’t traditionally considered part of your palette, I’m not going to tell you to throw it away! We can explore how to wear it.

The goal is to give women more confidence in their choices, not another reason to second-guess themselves.

There is something powerful about wearing an outfit and feeling like yourself rather than feeling dressed up as someone else. How do you help a woman discover her personal style identity when she has spent years dressing around work, family, expectations, or trends?

I think the first thing is giving her permission to have preferences again.

But so many women have spent years dressing for everyone and everything else. Their jobs, their children, their partners, their professional roles, or whatever fashion happens to be telling them to wear.

Eventually, they forget to ask themselves what they actually like.

When I work with a woman, I pay attention to the pieces she naturally gravitates towards, the colours she loves, and the outfits that make her stand a little differently.

I also want to know what she doesn’t like. That’s just as important! And then we experiment.

Sometimes I’ll put together an outfit from clothes she’s owned for years, and she’ll look in the mirror and say, “Oh! I would never have thought of wearing that together.”

I LOVE those moments.

Because we’re not inventing a completely new woman. We’re discovering a way for her to express herself that feels right for where she is now.

Your work is particularly focused on ambitious women, executives, founders, and women building personal brands. How can clothing become a tool for confidence, presence and influence without becoming a performance?

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I think we’re all a little exhausted by the pressure to perform.

To look successful, sound confident, appear completely in control, and somehow have everything figured out.

And clothing can easily become another part of that performance.

A woman thinks she needs the expensive handbag, the perfectly tailored blazer, or the wardrobe she imagines a successful founder should own. But what if none of those things feels like her?

I work with women to understand what their professional lives actually require and how they want to present themselves within those environments.

Of course, appearance matters. People form impressions, and clothing can influence those impressions.

But I don’t believe a woman needs to dress like somebody else to be taken seriously.

I want her to walk into a room feeling comfortable with herself, knowing that her clothes are appropriate for the occasion and reflect the person she wants to be.

Then she can focus on the conversation, the presentation, or the business she’s there to do.

That’s where clothing becomes useful. It supports her presence instead of demanding her attention.

You became a single mother in your 30s and built Monaco Meraki from that chapter of your life. How has your own experience of reinvention shaped the way you think about identity, ambition, and the woman we become through different seasons of our lives?

Becoming a single mother in my 30s changed the way I looked at so many things.

Suddenly, I had to think differently about my future, my responsibilities, and what I wanted to build for myself and my children.

And I think when life changes like that, you discover parts of yourself you didn’t necessarily know were there.

You also have to let go of certain ideas about how your life was supposed to look, and start doing your own thing, trusting your instinct.

Building Monaco Meraki has been part of my own reinvention. It’s allowed me to bring together my love of fashion, my interest in people, and my desire to help women feel more confident in themselves.

But I don’t see reinvention as becoming an entirely different person.

I think it’s more about getting to know yourself again, with everything you’ve learned along the way.

And that’s something I recognise in the women I work with.

We can be ambitious, love our families, build businesses, experience difficult chapters, change direction, and still want to feel beautiful and excited about our lives. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive.

I certainly don’t think reaching midlife means we’ve finished becoming who we’re going to be; if anything, we are only starting. I can’t wait to turn 40 in a couple of months. I’m finding it rather exciting to discover what’s next!

If you could give every woman entering her 40s or 50s one piece of advice about her wardrobe and the relationship she has with her clothes, what would you want her to know?

Stop waiting to become a different version of yourself before allowing yourself to dress beautifully.

Don’t wait until you’ve lost the weight, got the promotion, started the business, or figured out exactly what you’re doing with your life.

And please don’t assume the answer is another shopping trip!

Start with what you have. Get curious about what you love, what you wear, and what makes you feel good.

Learn how to put those pieces together in ways that suit your life today.

And if something genuinely needs replacing, wonderful. Buy it with intention.

But remember that your wardrobe is there to serve you, not the other way around.

You’ve already lived enough life to know that there will always be another chapter, another change, another version of yourself to discover.

You don’t need to wait for the next one to start dressing like you matter.

You already do ❤️

What lingers long after speaking with Carolina Marsoli is the liberating realization that personal style requires no grand reinvention or frantic shopping trip. It simply asks for curiosity, self-respect, and the permission to stop waiting for a future, idealised version of ourselves before we allow ourselves to dress beautifully. When we stop asking our changing bodies to squeeze into clothes that no longer serve us, getting dressed ceases to be a daily friction and becomes a quiet act of devotion.

As we navigate our forty-ninth year and step toward the threshold of fifty, Carolina’s philosophy serves as a gentle reminder that our wardrobes should support our lives, not demand our performance. The goal is not to invent a new woman, but to clear away the clutter until the woman who was there all along can finally step into the light and recognise her own reflection.

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What Ridhi recognised long before the industry caught up is that financial anxiety in midlife is rarely a math problem; it is a literacy gap that has been weaponised into character shame. Women were systematically left out of the room when the financial language was being spoken, only to blame themselves for not understanding the dialect. After studying to become a Certified Financial Planner and spending two decades in mortgage lending, Ridhi realised that knowing numbers is entirely secondary to understanding how those numbers shape a human life.

In this interview, Ridhi unpacks the quiet revolution available to women in their 40s and 50s. From untangling emotional identity from real estate to understanding why self-sacrifice is not an inherent requirement of motherhood, her perspective offers a steady, grounded compass for anyone ready to stop asking for permission and finally claim their seat at the table.

What made you realise that so many women have internalised financial shame?

Before I became a mortgage loan officer, I spent two years studying to become a Certified Financial Planner. Within the first week of an internship selling mutual funds, I knew I hated it. It taught me early that knowing the numbers and knowing how to help someone with her life are two very different things.

That distinction stayed with me through 25 years in mortgage lending, where I met intelligent, capable women who managed homes, careers, children and ageing parents, yet would lower their voices and tell me, “I am just not good with money.”

Almost none of them were bad with money. They had simply never been included in the financial conversations. Someone else handled the investments, explained the mortgage, or met with the adviser. Then, when they did not understand something, they treated the gap in their knowledge as a flaw in their character.

Money is a language. If nobody taught you the language, your confusion is not proof that you are incapable. It is proof that you were never taught.

You are not bad with money. Nobody taught you.

Why is midlife such an important moment to start thinking differently about money and life?

At 50, a woman may still have 30 or 40 years ahead of her. That is not the final chapter. It is an entire second book.

It is also the moment when the life she planned in her thirties may no longer fit. Children leave. Careers change. Marriages change. Parents need care. Bodies begin setting limits. Retirement moves from an abstract idea to something visible on the calendar.

Midlife gives us enough experience to know what no longer works and, hopefully, enough time to change it.

The question is no longer simply, “Have I saved enough?” It becomes, “What do I want an ordinary Tuesday to look like, and can my money support that life?”

Where should a woman begin when her life has changed but her financial plan has not?

Begin with visibility, not decisions.

Put the entire financial picture in one place: what you own, what you owe, what comes in, what goes out, how accounts and property are titled, who the beneficiaries are, what insurance exists, and who knows the passwords.

Then build a new financial baseline around the life you have now, not the life you expected to have.

Women often feel pressure to make large decisions immediately after divorce, widowhood, a career change, or another major transition. Unless something is genuinely urgent, give yourself time before making irreversible choices.

You do not need to solve the next 30 years in one afternoon. You need to see clearly enough to make the next sound decision.

How can women separate home ownership from the deeper questions of security and freedom?

We have been taught to treat home ownership as security itself. But a house is only secure if you can afford to maintain it without sacrificing everything else that makes your life livable.

A home may represent family, success, continuity, and memories. That emotional meaning is real. But it can also hold most of a woman’s wealth while leaving her without enough accessible money to support the rest of her life.

Instead of beginning with, “Should I sell?”, I ask, “What do I need this home to do for me now?”

Do I need stability? Lower expenses? Access to equity? Less maintenance? Proximity to family? Freedom to travel?

Your home should support your life. It should not become the life you are forced to support.

What financial mistakes do you see women making in their 40s and 50s?

Many of the biggest mistakes begin as acts of love.

Women reduce their retirement contributions to help their children. They step away from work without calculating the long-term cost. They co-sign loans, fund weddings, pay college expenses, or continue supporting adult children while their own retirement remains underfunded.

I have seen a woman pause her 401(k) contributions for two years to cover a grown child’s rent, only to notice the gap when she ran her retirement numbers at 58.

Every time I see this, I am reminded of the announcement we hear on an airplane: “Put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.”

Our financial lives need to work the same way.

I am not saying that women should not help their children or ageing parents. But if you help them while leaving your own future underfunded, you cannot assume they will fund your life later. They may not want to, or they may simply not be in a position to do it.

What began as an act of love can eventually cost you your independence, your lifestyle, and possibly the relationship itself, because financial dependence often creates resentment on both sides.

The problem is not that women care too much. It is that they have been taught to secure everyone else before securing themselves.

Endangering your own future is not a requirement of motherhood.

What does financial confidence look and feel like?

Financial confidence is not knowing every answer. It does not mean you need to start picking stocks and mutual funds. It simply means knowing where you stand: what you own, what you spend and what you need.

Once you know that, you can sit down with a financial adviser, husband, partner or family member and clearly explain what you need, what matters to you and how much risk you are comfortable taking.

You do not have to be the person running every number. You do have to be the person who cannot be left out of the conversation.

Confidence grows through small acts of participation: reviewing accounts, attending meetings, learning the language, and making decisions. It is asking questions until the answer belongs to you.

What would you say to a woman learning to navigate money alone?

Financial self-reliance does not mean doing everything alone. It means never being completely dependent on another person’s knowledge.

I think of it as the three Ds: death, divorce, and disease. Any one of them can hand a woman full financial responsibility overnight, often at the exact moment she has the least capacity to learn something new.

Even in a strong marriage or partnership, every woman should know where the money is, how to access it, which bills must be paid, who the advisers are, and what would happen if she suddenly had to manage everything herself.

She should also have credit in her own name, access to emergency money, and a voice in every major financial decision.

Do not wait for one of those three Ds to become your financial education. The best time to learn how your financial life works is before you are forced to manage it alone.

How should women think about the life they want their retirement money to make possible?

I begin with the calendar before the calculator.

What will you do with all those hours? Where will you live? Who will be at your table? What gives your days structure? What kind of help might your parents, children, or grandchildren need? What will your health realistically allow?

Then calculate what that life will cost and which expenses are essential, flexible, or likely to change.

A retirement number without a picture of retirement is just a pile of money you may become afraid to spend.

What has your work taught you about money, identity and the courage to make a different choice?

It has taught me that the mathematically correct answer can still feel emotionally impossible.

The house may represent the marriage. The career may represent competence. The savings account may represent safety. Keeping a particular asset may feel like protecting an entire version of yourself.

Women often need permission to separate what something once meant from what it is doing to their life now. Selling the house is not erasing the family. Changing careers is not wasting the years that came before. Choosing differently is not proof that the earlier choice was wrong.

Sometimes courage is simply allowing the next version of your life to need something different.

What three things should every woman in her 40s start doing now?

First, know your complete financial picture. Know what you own, what you owe, what your life costs, and how everything is titled. Do not settle for knowing that the information exists somewhere.

Second, build financial infrastructure in your own name. Maintain your own credit, retirement savings, accessible cash, and working knowledge of every important account, policy, and legal document.

Third, define what you want the next 30 years to make possible. Do not build a financial plan around a life you have never stopped to question.

You do not need to become a financial expert. You need enough visibility, access, and understanding to remain the decision-maker in your own life.

What lingers long after talking with Ridhi Raheja is the sheer liberation tucked inside her definition of financial confidence. It requires no stock-picking mastery or Wall Street jargon; it simply asks for visibility, presence, and the quiet courage to remain unignorable in your own life. It is an invitation to stop treating money as a secret test you are failing and start seeing it as the structural support for an ordinary, beautiful day.

As we navigate the middle chapters, where old plans dissolve and the second half of life opens wide, Ridhi’s wisdom reminds us that choosing differently is never proof that an earlier choice was wrong. It is merely the radical grace of allowing the woman you are today to need something entirely different.

There are moments in life that divide everything into a before and an after. For Robin Dimond, one of those moments came in her 30s, when she experienced a stroke and was forced to confront just how quickly life can change. But what stayed with me about Robin’s story is that it didn’t lead her to the version of midlife we so often hear about. She didn’t suddenly decide to slow down, want less, or step away from ambition. If anything, the experience made her more determined to build a meaningful life, create security, and make the time she has count.

Today, Robin is the founder of Fifth & Cor, building a company across medical aesthetics, wellness and longevity, with a perspective shaped not only by business but by a deeply personal understanding of vulnerability, health and the desire to have some agency over our own future. Her experience has also given her a refreshingly honest view of what it means to live well. Not a life without pressure or responsibility, but one built with purpose and with a clearer understanding of why we are doing what we are doing.

In this conversation, Robin talks openly about ambition, ageing, resilience, health and the decisions we make when we become more conscious of time. We explore what happens when survival doesn’t make you want to retreat from life, but instead makes you more unwilling to waste your energy on things that don’t move you forward. Because perhaps one of the most powerful things we can do in midlife isn’t to become less ambitious. Perhaps it is to become much more discerning about what our ambition is actually in service of.

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You experienced a stroke in your 30s, at a point in life when I imagine mortality wasn’t necessarily something you were thinking about. What did that experience change in you that has stayed with you into your 40s?

It made me understand how quickly life can change, but it did not magically give me permission to slow down.

People assume that after something life-altering, the world pauses while you recover and reevaluate everything. It does not. The bills keep coming. People still depend on you. Your responsibilities do not disappear because something frightening happened.

If anything, I ramped up even more. The stroke created an urgency in me. It made me more determined to build something meaningful, create security for myself, and make the most of the time I had. I did not walk away from ambition. I became even more ambitious.

There is often a before and after when something fundamentally changes our relationship with our own body and mortality. What did the woman before your stroke believe about life, success, and time that the woman you are today no longer believes?

I stopped taking time for granted. I also learned that resilience is rarely as graceful as people make it sound. Sometimes resilience is not taking a break, finding balance, and emerging with all the answers. Sometimes it is getting up, going back to work, and doing what needs to be done because life is still moving around you.

The woman I am today understands that no one is coming to build your future for you. You can be shaken by what happens to you and still refuse to stand still.

You went on to build Fifth & Cor, with a strong presence in medical aesthetics, wellness, and longevity. How much of what you are building today was shaped by what happened to you personally?

My experience gave me a personal understanding of how vulnerable it feels when your health suddenly becomes uncertain. It also showed me how much people want to feel some sense of agency over their bodies, their futures, and the way they live.

That perspective shapes how we approach medical aesthetics, wellness, and longevity at Fifth & Cor. Behind every treatment, technology, or service is a person trying to feel better, live better, or regain some control. We never want to market that vulnerability irresponsibly. We want to communicate with honesty, empathy, and a respect for what is actually at stake.

It also shaped the way I built the company. I knew life could change without warning, so waiting for the perfect moment was never an option.

We talk so much about longevity as adding years to our lives, but much less about what we want those years to actually feel like. What does living well mean to you now?

Living well does not mean living without pressure, responsibility, or ambition. That is not realistic for most people.

For me, it means building a life with purpose. It means doing work that matters, creating security, taking care of the people I love, and knowing that the effort I put in is moving something forward.

I still work hard—probably harder than I did before my stroke. The difference is that I understand why I am working so hard. Longevity is not just about accumulating years. It is about making those years count.

Has your relationship with ambition changed since your stroke? Do you still want the same things you wanted in your 30s, or has your definition of success evolved?

There is a popular idea that surviving something life-changing should make you slow down, step back, and want less. That was not my experience. Life did not slow down for me, so I did not slow down either.

If you want to be successful, there are moments when you have to keep moving even while you are healing. The bills do not stop. The responsibilities do not wait. The future you want still has to be built.

What has changed is the purpose behind my ambition. I am not working simply to prove that I can. I am building something that creates impact, supports other people, and gives me the freedom to shape my own future.

For many women, their 40s bring a reckoning with time, identity, and the realisation that there isn't an infinite number of chapters ahead. Has turning 40 changed the way you make decisions about what deserves your energy?

Turning 40 has not made me less driven. It has made me less willing to waste that drive.

I am clearer about what deserves my energy and far less interested in spending it on situations, expectations, or relationships that do not move my life forward. Time feels more valuable now, which means I make decisions more decisively.

I am still saying yes to big goals. I am simply saying no faster to the things that distract me from them.

You are building a business in industries that are increasingly focused on ageing, appearance, wellness and longevity. Where do you think the conversation about ageing gets it right, and where do you think we are still getting it completely wrong?

We get it right when we give people more knowledge, agency and options for taking care of themselves as they age.

We get it wrong when ageing is treated like a failure that needs to be corrected or hidden, especially for women. There is a difference between wanting to feel confident and being made to believe your relevance has an expiration date.

I also think wellness is too often presented as though everyone has unlimited time and resources to optimize every part of life. Most people are balancing careers, families, finances, and responsibilities. The conversation needs to make room for that reality. Well-being cannot become one more impossible standard people feel they are failing to meet.

What has your experience taught you about the difference between looking well and actually being well?

Looking well is what other people can see. Being well is what you know to be true when no one else is watching.

You can look polished, productive, and completely in control while your body is telling a very different story. I know firsthand that appearance is not proof of health—and success is not proof that everything behind the scenes is easy.

Actually being well requires honesty. It means paying attention to your body, advocating for yourself, and recognizing that strength and struggle can exist at the same time.

When you look at the woman you were before that life-changing experience and the woman you are becoming now, what are you most proud of her for learning, and what are you still learning to let go of?

I am most proud of her for learning how to keep going.

Not in a polished, inspirational-quote kind of way. I mean getting up when life was difficult, continuing to work, rebuilding when necessary, and refusing to allow one experience to define the rest of her story.

I am still learning to let go of the belief that strength means carrying everything alone. I may never be someone who naturally slows down, but I am learning that accepting support does not make me any less capable.

You are now in your 40s and building the next chapter with everything you know today. If you could design the next decade deliberately, rather than simply letting it happen, what would you want it to look and feel like?

I want it to feel expansive, purposeful, and really make a difference.

I want to keep building Fifth & Cor into a company that creates meaningful growth for our clients and opportunities for our people. I want to take bigger risks, push more boundaries, and continue creating the kind of impact that extends beyond me.

I do not envision the next decade as a period when I finally slow down. I see it as a time when everything I have survived, learned, and built begins working together.

I want to enter 50 knowing I did not wait for life to become easier before going after what I wanted. Life never slowed down for me. I learned how to rise to meet it.

What I love about Robin’s perspective is that it challenges some of the stories we have been handed about what midlife is supposed to look like. We are often told that getting older means slowing down, wanting less, stepping back, or becoming more cautious. Robin offers another possibility: that getting older can make us clearer. Clearer about what matters, clearer about where our energy belongs, and clearer about what we are no longer prepared to waste it on.

Her definition of longevity is equally compelling. It isn’t simply about adding more years to our lives, but about making those years count. And perhaps that is the more interesting question for all of us: not simply How long do I want to live? But What do I want those years to feel like, and what do I want them to be for?

Robin is still learning, too. She speaks candidly about letting go of the belief that strength means carrying everything alone and recognising that accepting support doesn’t make her any less capable. And as she looks towards 50, she isn’t imagining a decade of finally slowing down. She wants it to feel expansive, purposeful and impactful, bringing together everything she has survived, learned and built.

Perhaps that is the real invitation here: We don’t have to wait for life to become easier before we go after what we want. We can meet the life we have, exactly as it is, and still choose to build something extraordinary with it.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

Kai has spent more than four decades in the entertainment industry, an environment that has plenty to say about women, beauty and ageing, and very little of it is particularly kind. Rather than allowing that world to determine her worth, Kai turned it into a training ground for something much more powerful: learning to separate her value from her appearance, her age, and other people’s expectations of who she should be.

Now, as a midlife alchemist, author of Joybellion and creator of the Joybellion Journey, Kai is inviting women to do something that feels both radical and deeply necessary: stop trying to fix themselves and start reclaiming themselves.

And I think that distinction matters enormously.

How many of us have entered midlife believing there is something about us that needs fixing? Our bodies. Our confidence. Our careers. Our relationships. Our choices. Our anger. Our ageing. We have been given an endless list of things to improve, manage, correct, and overcome, when perhaps the more interesting question is: What parts of myself did I have to quiet, suppress, or abandon in order to survive the life I was living?

That is where this conversation with Kai begins.

We talk about the lies women have been taught about ageing, the strange liberation of becoming less visible, why anger can be a source of information rather than something to suppress, how to rebuild a relationship with intuition after decades of overriding it, and why choosing joy can be an act of rebellion.

But underneath all of it is a much bigger invitation: to stop asking what is wrong with us and start asking what we want to reclaim.

I think you’re going to love this one.

You’ve spent more than 40 years in the entertainment industry, which is one of the least forgiving industries for women as they age. What did that world teach you about your own worth, and how much of it did you have to unlearn?

Working in an industry that places a lot of value on appearance and youthfulness helped prepare me for the more apparent signs of aging that show up in midlife. By my mid-twenties, I was aware that aging was not going to be my friend in the industry I chose. This awareness helped me decide early on to separate my self-worth from my appearance or age. As brutal as the industry can be, it became my training ground. I used it as a daily practice in refusing to let my value live in my looks. Unlearning is an ongoing process because the “you’re not good enough” messaging never stops. I continue to remind myself that my value lies in my spirit and who I am as a person.

Joybellion opens with the premise that everything society has told women about ageing is a lie. That’s a strong claim. What’s the lie you most want women to stop believing?

If I could wave a magic wand and have one lie eradicated, it would be that women are to blame for everything. For crying out loud, women are the only reason we’re functioning as a species. We are not to blame for getting paid less than men. We are not to blame when we are sexually assaulted. We are not to blame for world wars and the instability that follows. We are not to blame for getting old. We’re handed so many crazy solutions to stay looking young. When they don’t work, because, hello, aging isn’t avoidable, we get blamed for looking old or “letting ourselves go.” I would like women to take an extreme stance on this and decide that we never do anything wrong, just for a while, to balance things out. I’m not saying to blame men. I’m saying reject anyone or anything that blames you.

You describe the thing that makes women feel invisible in midlife as actually their greatest source of power. That’s a radical reframe. What is that thing, and why does it take so long to see it that way

The “thing” is how aging women are viewed in society. On a crass level, we are seen as baby makers. When our fertile years are behind us, the underlying societal message is that we no longer hold value except as caregivers. What comes with being devalued is that people stop paying attention to us. THAT is when we can do whatever we want. The female gaze turns away from us at the very moment midlife invites us to tap into our power. Our wisdom. Our resilience. Our strength. Then, we can wield them for good in our lives and the world around us, without the nuisance of society’s judging eye.

It takes so long because we first have to enter our “invisible phase.” Prior to that switch in our relationship with society, we spent a lot of time on other concerns, whether it be navigating unwanted attention and harassment, nurturing a family, or climbing the career ladder. We have to wait for our visibility in society to fade a bit before we can fully use the power we’ve gained.

There’s a difference between self-help and what you’re calling self-reclamation. It feels like an important distinction. Can you say more about where that line is and why it matters?

Yes. Self-help tends to imply there is something wrong with you. I am obsessed with insisting there is nothing wrong with women. If we want to point the finger somewhere, then point the finger at the status quo and patriarchal society we live in. Having to navigate what I call the problematics often results in us losing parts of ourselves to survive and thrive in a system that was built to keep us down. So I reject self-help and the idea that we need fixing, and replace it with self-reclamation, which invites us to reconnect with the parts of ourselves we may have quieted to survive the problematics.

You run a workshop called Holy Rage, Anger as a Path to Liberation. A lot of women in midlife have been told, directly or indirectly, that their anger is too much, too ugly, or not aligned. What do you say to the woman who is deeply uncomfortable with her own rage?

First, I say I’m so sorry that you’ve never had an outlet to express an emotion that offers us a lot of valuable information and healing when expressed in healthy ways. Second, I would say, of course, you’re deeply uncomfortable with your rage or anger. We all see what happens to women who express their anger. I don’t want to have to deal with the backlash of saying you’re pissed. However, anger holds a lot of power and guidance for us and is a key factor in how we have an impact on society. I hope to be of service to women by helping them use their anger to better their lives and those around them.

You talk a lot about intuition as a guide. But so many women in midlife have spent decades overriding theirs, for practicality, for other people, for survival. How does a woman start to trust something she’s spent years ignoring?

I think the keyword here, when wanting to strengthen our relationship with our intuition, is trust. Intuition is a built-in part of being human. So first, I’d emphasize: you are tapped in. Intuition isn’t something some have and some don’t. Then I’d say take baby steps. Reacquaint yourself with how your intuition speaks to you. My experience has been that when I bring up this subject with someone, they will have at least one story in their life tied to a decision they made based on listening to their intuition. Travel through your life and see if you can find a time when you listened to your gut. Pay attention to how you feel. What motivated you to listen to something outside of logic? Then start to practice in situations that have little consequence if you make a decision and it doesn’t pan out how you’d like. I’d also say connect with a friend who’s also working on trusting her intuition more, or who already trusts hers. Support makes it more fun and magical.

You describe yourself as a midlife alchemist. What does that actually mean in practice? What is the raw material, and what are you turning it into?

As a midlife alchemist, I help other women turn their everyday lives into ones filled with magical experiences. The raw material is life and our connection to everything around us. We are turning these connections into an experience of life that allows us to float just slightly above the fray on a regular basis. It doesn’t get rid of the challenges that come with being alive, but it shifts how we travel through life and how supported we feel by unseen forces. In practice, most of what this looks like is mirroring. I reflect a woman’s own talents and dreams back to her until they are so normalized that she is moved to act. That’s the process I’ve built into my one-on-one offering, the Joybellion Journey.

The word disobedience runs through everything you do. But disobedience has a cost, social, relational, sometimes financial. How honest are you with women about what it might cost them to stop living by everyone else’s rules?

Interesting. I think I understand what you’re saying, but I wouldn’t describe it as disobedience having a cost. Maybe because the word cost implies something negative. We aren’t being disobedient just to be disobedient. We are being disobedient when we reject what someone or something else has told us we should do that is out of alignment with our true selves. Instead of saying disobedience has a cost, I would say there are repercussions for honoring ourselves over others, but the payoff is freedom. It is common for women to have accommodated others’ needs and wants for decades. When we reach midlife and realize that we want to put our needs and wants first, this can trigger unexpected changes. Others may prefer the older version of us. So yes, there are repercussions, but the replenishment comes in living a life we want as opposed to one others want.

Joy feels political right now, particularly for women in midlife who’ve been conditioned to earn it, defer it, or feel guilty for having it. Is joy an act of rebellion? And if so, against what, exactly?

Yes! Choosing joy is an act of rebellion. It means making what brings you joy a priority. Choosing you over everyone else in a world where you are expected to be self-sacrificing 24/7 is an act of rebellion. Women still get paid less than men. Women are being told what they can and can’t do with their bodies. Abusers are protected over survivors. Choosing acts that bring joy to our lives is an act of rebellion against a system that thrives by keeping us powerless and joyless.

If a woman reads Joybellion and finishes it feeling seen but still not quite ready to move, what would you say to her?

Trust your timing. I’m amazed at the magic that can show up when we give ourselves a bit of grace and let go of wanting to be in control of when things happen. Sitting in a liminal space is a fascinating journey. It’s similar to when a seed is planted, and it looks like nothing is happening. Underneath the surface, much is happening. The same is true for us. Trust that what’s energetically needed is unfolding in the quiet to help you eventually move forward. I would also say, stay curious, and know that when you are tapped in, movement in your life often mimics the timing of nature rather than the pace of modern life.

I came away from my conversation with Kai thinking about how often we approach midlife as another self-improvement project. We look at ourselves and immediately start making a list: what needs changing, healing, losing, fixing, improving. And perhaps that is one of the most deeply embedded stories we need to question.

Because what if there is nothing fundamentally wrong with us? What if the woman arriving at midlife is not a broken version of the woman she used to be, but a woman who has accumulated enough wisdom, experience, resilience, and self-knowledge to finally start asking what actually belongs to her?

I loved Kai’s language of self-reclamation because it shifts the entire conversation. We are not necessarily becoming someone new. We are reconnecting with the parts of ourselves we may have quieted in order to be loved, accepted, successful, safe or simply to get through the day. And sometimes reclamation looks surprisingly ordinary. Saying no. Listening to your gut. Letting yourself be angry. Choosing something because it brings you joy. Changing your mind. Wanting something without immediately explaining it away. Deciding that your life gets to feel good too.

And perhaps that is the heart of Kai’s Joybellion. Not rebellion for the sake of rebellion, but the courage to stop outsourcing the authority over your own life.

There may be repercussions when we begin doing that. People may prefer the version of us who was more accommodating. Some relationships may change. Some choices may feel frightening. We may have to sit in that strange liminal space where the old life no longer fits, but the new one hasn’t quite taken shape yet.

Kai’s advice there is simple, and I think it is something many of us need to hear: Trust your timing.

Not everything has to happen today. Not every seed needs to be dug up to check whether it is growing. Sometimes there is an extraordinary amount happening underneath the surface.

So perhaps midlife isn’t asking us to hurry towards our next version. Perhaps it is asking us to become curious about the woman who has been waiting underneath everything we’ve been told we should be.

And maybe, just maybe, she has been there all along.

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What if the problem isn’t that we don’t have enough medicine? What if the problem is that we’ve been treating the body in pieces and wondering why women still don’t feel whole?

Maria is the founder and CEO of VYV: House of Life, a wellness ecosystem that bridges clinical medicine, ancient wisdom, personal transformation, and community. She’s an Egyptian-born pharmacist who began her career working with people living with Alzheimer’s and dementia, and something about sitting with that level of human fragility made her start asking different questions. About prevention. About vitality. About what it actually means to age well, rather than just age longer.

What she built in response draws on something far older than modern medicine. The Per Ankh, the ancient Egyptian House of Life, was a place where healing, education, philosophy, spirituality, and community existed under one roof. Not as separate disciplines, but as a single understanding of what it means for a human being to flourish. Maria has spent years quietly rebuilding that idea for the modern world, across the UK, the US, and the Middle East.

In this conversation, we talk about what exhaustion really looks like in midlife women and why it so rarely has anything to do with sleep. We talk about sovereignty and what it actually means to reclaim it after decades of holding everyone else together. And we talk about the question she returns to again and again: not “How can we live longer?“, but “What are we living for?“

This one went deep. I think you’ll feel it.

You’ve described yourself as rebuilding the modern House of Life. For women who aren’t familiar with the ancient Egyptian concept, what was the original House of Life, and why did it feel like the right architecture for what you’re creating?

The original House of Life, known in ancient Egypt as the Per Ankh, was much more than a temple or healing centre. It was a place where medicine, spirituality, education, philosophy, community, and leadership existed under one roof. It was devoted to the flourishing of life itself.

As an Egyptian-born pharmacist, I have always felt a deep connection to that heritage. When I looked at modern healthcare, I saw incredible advances in science and medicine, but I also saw fragmentation. We treat symptoms in one place, mental health in another, community somewhere else, and purpose, meaning, and spirituality often nowhere at all.

The House of Life offered a more integrated vision of human well-being. VYV is my attempt to rebuild that concept for the modern world, combining clinical excellence, personal transformation, community, education, spiritual development, and conscious living within a single ecosystem.

Your background is in pharmacy, yet you’ve built something that goes far beyond clinical medicine. What was the moment you realised conventional healthcare wasn’t holding the whole picture, and what did you start doing differently?

My pharmacy training taught me how extraordinary the human body is, and I remain deeply committed to evidence-based medicine.

Earlier in my career, I worked as a specialist elderly mental health pharmacist supporting people living with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. That experience profoundly shaped my thinking. It led me to ask deeper questions about cognition, vitality, prevention, and what it truly means to age well.

As I explored regenerative medicine, longevity science, and integrative health approaches, I also became increasingly curious about ancient healing traditions, particularly those of my Egyptian heritage. Rather than seeing these worlds as separate, I became interested in where they intersect.

What changed for me was recognising that many people were not lacking information or prescriptions. They were lacking connection, meaning, support, rest, and a sense of agency over their own health.

I began to see that healing is not only biochemical. It is also behavioural, emotional, relational, mental, and spiritual.

Rather than choosing between science and holistic approaches, I became interested in how they could work together. That’s ultimately what VYV represents, a bridge rather than a divide.

You work at the intersection of ancient wisdom and modern science. How do you navigate that space with women who are sceptical of anything that sounds too spiritual, and with practitioners who are sceptical of anything that sounds too mystical?

I start with curiosity rather than belief.

You don’t need to believe in ancient Egypt, energy centres, or spirituality to benefit from better nutrition, sleep, community, stress reduction, movement, or nervous system regulation.

Likewise, we shouldn’t dismiss thousands of years of human wisdom simply because it wasn’t expressed in modern scientific language.

My approach is simple: keep what works, test what can be measured, stay humble about what we don’t yet understand, and remain open to learning.

Most women today are less interested in ideology and more interested in results. They want to feel better, think more clearly, have more energy, and live more fully. That’s a place where science and wisdom can meet.

The word sovereignty comes up a lot in your work. What does reclaiming sovereignty actually look like for a woman in midlife who has spent decades being responsible for everyone else?

For many women, sovereignty begins with permission. Permission to listen to themselves. Permission to stop outsourcing their worth. Permission to recognise that their needs matter too.

Many women reach midlife having spent years caring for children, partners, parents, businesses, teams, and communities. Somewhere along the way, they become disconnected from their own voice.

Reclaiming sovereignty isn’t becoming selfish. It’s becoming self-respecting; it’s remembering that you are not here solely to carry everyone else’s life. You are here to live your own.

For me, sovereignty also means reclaiming ownership of your health: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. These dimensions cannot truly be separated. When one suffers, the others eventually feel the impact. Midlife often becomes the moment when women realise that caring for themselves is not an indulgence; it is a responsibility.

You’ve built across the UK, the US, and the Middle East. Do you find that women across different cultures experience the midlife transition differently, or is there a universal thread that runs through it?

The circumstances vary, but the emotional themes are remarkably similar.

Women everywhere ask versions of the same questions:

• Who am I now?

• What do I want next?

• What am I no longer willing to tolerate?

• How do I create a life that feels more aligned?

Midlife often acts as a threshold. It invites us to examine what has been built consciously and what has been built unconsciously.

The universal thread isn’t a decline; it’s a transformation.

The ReVYV Recalibration Intensive is described as a step from exhaustion to renewal. What does exhaustion actually look like in the women who come to you, and what tells you it goes deeper than just needing more sleep?

Exhaustion often presents as brain fog, low motivation, emotional overwhelm, poor sleep, hormonal disruption, and a feeling of moving through life on autopilot.

What tells me it’s deeper than sleep is that many women are tired even after resting. They’re carrying years of stress, responsibility, grief, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-neglect. The body eventually reflects what the soul has been carrying.

Renewal begins when women create space to reconnect with themselves, not just recover from their schedules.

VYV is designed as an ecosystem, not a clinic. What is the difference in practice, and why does that distinction matter so much to you?

A clinic provides services. An ecosystem creates transformation.

Clinics tend to focus on episodes of care. Ecosystems support ongoing growth.

At VYV, we are building a network of practitioners, educators, experiences, wellness venues, retreats, conversations, and communities that help people live more fully.

Health does not happen in a treatment room alone. It happens through the environments, relationships, habits, and beliefs that surround us every day.

That distinction matters because I believe the future of wellness is not a place. It’s an ecosystem.

Longevity is one of the biggest conversations in wellness right now, but it can feel very clinical and data-driven. How do you bring the emotional and spiritual dimension of longevity into the conversation?

Living longer is not enough.

The deeper question is: “What are we living for?“

To me, longevity is about vitality, contribution, connection, purpose, and joy.

I’ve met people with excellent biomarkers who are emotionally exhausted and spiritually disconnected. I’ve also met people with tremendous vitality because they feel connected to something larger than themselves.

The future of longevity is not simply adding years to life; it’s adding life to years.

You are a pharmacist, an entrepreneur, a speaker, and a founder. How do you personally manage your own energy and well-being while building something at this scale?

Not perfectly. I’ve had periods where I pushed too hard and learned the consequences.

Today, my focus is on rhythm rather than balance. I prioritise time in nature, prayer, reflection, movement, meaningful conversations, and creating space to think.

I have also learned that building something meaningful is a marathon, not a sprint.

The founder’s quality eventually becomes the organisation’s ceiling, so taking care of myself is not a luxury. It’s part of the work.

What do you want a woman in midlife to understand about her body and her health that she almost certainly hasn’t been told?

Your body is not failing you; it is communicating with you. Many women have been taught to see symptoms as problems to suppress rather than messages to understand.

Midlife is not the beginning of decline. It can be the beginning of the most conscious, powerful, and authentic chapter of a woman’s life.

Your body is not your enemy; it is your ally.

The invitation is not to fight it. The invitation is to listen.

There was something Maria said near the end of this conversation that I’ve been turning over ever since.

Your body is not failing you. It is communicating with you.

And I think so many of us, women who’ve spent years pushing through, dismissing symptoms, telling ourselves we’re fine, that it’s just stress, that it’s just hormones, that it’s just getting older, needed to read exactly that.

We’ve been taught to manage our bodies, to quiet them down, to override what they’re trying to say. And midlife, for so many women, is the moment that stops working.

What Maria is building with VYV is a different kind of invitation. Not to fix yourself. Not to restore who you used to be. But to actually listen, to what your body knows, to what you’ve been carrying, to what you might be ready to put down.

She called it sovereignty. The return to your own voice, your own needs, your own sense of what your life is actually for.

I find that quietly radical.

You can explore Maria’s work at vyvhouseoflife.com, and I’d encourage you to spend some time there. It’s the kind of thing you don’t just read; you feel it.

And if something in this interview stirred a flicker of recognition in you, don’t rush past it.

That flicker is usually the beginning of something.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

is the latter.

A writer, creative entrepreneur, and founder of Letters from Maison Violette, Sif lives between a 300-year-old French country townhouse in the Languedoc and an old schoolhouse in Denmark, a life she designed intentionally in midlife, around her creativity, her temperament, and the quiet but persistent voice that kept telling her there was more.

She is an introvert with a rich inner world, a mother whose empty nest became an unexpected doorway, and a woman who took seventeen minutes to decide to buy a house in France after following it on Instagram for four years. Not because she was certain. But because she was more afraid of not living than she was of change.

This conversation is about summer, slowness, desire, and what it really means to build a life that fits. It is also, quietly, about permission, the kind you stop waiting for others to give you.

Your writing often feels like an invitation to begin again with beauty, courage, and intention. What does summer make possible in midlife that other seasons do not?

Summer has always been a slightly complicated love story for me. I’m an introvert by nature, and my inner world is very alive, with stories, ideas, projects, reflections, and entire imaginary conversations unfolding while I peel potatoes or walk through a village street. I often say there’s a revolving door into that inner realm, and autumn and winter slide it open effortlessly for me. Thick sweaters, candlelight, soup simmering on the stove, rain on old windows, the hush of snow, that is where I hear myself most clearly.

Summer, on the other hand, pulls me outward. The air vibrates differently. Everything becomes lighter, more social, more exposed. Sometimes it almost feels as though the heat slows the revolving door down.

And yet… perhaps that is exactly what summer makes possible in midlife. It asks me to come out a little more. To say yes to life beyond my own thoughts. To sit outside longer than planned, to linger over wine in the square, to wear the dress, to let the evening stretch, to follow the music drifting through open windows.

Summer reminds me that a meaningful life is not built solely on stillness and introspection. It is also built on laughter, sunlight, connection, and a willingness to participate in the world as it happens.

You’ve written so beautifully about reinvention, belonging, and finding yourself in a new chapter. What has this season of your life taught you about becoming more visible to yourself?

That becoming visible to yourself has very little to do with performance and everything to do with honesty.

For years, I was wonderfully busy building, mothering, creating, holding things together, making things happen. Much of it was beautiful and meaningful. But midlife has invited me into a quieter question: What do I actually want now that I can finally hear myself think?

And the answers arrived softly at first. Through exhaustion. Through longing. Through paying attention to what gave me energy versus what quietly emptied me.

Buying Maison Violette at fifty-three was, in many ways, an act of becoming visible to myself. Not because moving to France magically changed me, but because it removed enough noise for me to hear my own inner voice more clearly again.

Midlife, I’ve discovered, is less about reinventing yourself into someone new and more about returning to the person who was there before the world told you who to be. Or perhaps even more accurately: planting yourself in new soil, where more of you have the chance to grow.

Maison Violette feels like more than a place. It feels like a symbol. What does home mean to you now, and how has that definition changed in midlife?

As a child, home meant one physical place. I was deeply rooted in my childhood home, in the familiarity of rooms, rhythms, smells, seasons, and the sense of belonging to a specific place in the world.

But adulthood had other plans for me. I’ve moved many times in my life, not always because I wanted to, but because life shifted underneath me and asked me to. Relationships changed. Circumstances changed. Chapters ended. And slowly, over the years, I began to understand that home could not be only something external for me, because external things can disappear, dissolve, or ask you to begin again.

So home gradually became something more internal. A feeling I carried. A place inside myself. As an introvert and highly sensitive person, I find my inner world incredibly alive and important to me.

That inner realm, where stories, ideas, reflections, creativity, stillness, and imagination live, is where I truly come home to myself. It is where I recharge, regulate, reconnect, and remember who I am underneath all the noise and responsibilities of life.

When I spend too many days outwardly focused, helping family, sitting beside my mother’s hospital bed, being around people continuously, I can feel myself drifting slightly away from that inner anchoring. And I’ve learned to respect that feeling now rather than override it.

Which is perhaps why Maison Violette affected me so profoundly. The moment I stepped over the threshold, I had the strangest sensation: it felt as though my inner world had somehow become physical. As if something I had carried quietly inside myself for years suddenly existed in stone and light and atmosphere outside of me. I cannot explain it rationally. But I recognised it instantly.

And perhaps even stranger: I think some part of me recognised it long before I arrived. I had followed the house quietly for four years through a Swedish influencer’s Instagram account before it suddenly, by chance, or perhaps not by chance at all, came up for sale. A few days later, I was on a plane to France.

Something about the house kept pulling at me softly, persistently… like a place already calling its person home.

When I finally visited, it took me 17 minutes to say, “I would like to buy this place.“ Not because it was perfect on paper. It absolutely wasn’t. But because it felt like recognition.

There is such sensuality in the world you create through your words: beauty, atmosphere, slowness, memory, place. What role does pleasure play in how you now live and work?

A central one. Not pleasure as escapism, but as nourishment. As presence. As paying attention. Allow yourself to build a life that genuinely fits who you are in this particular season of life, your temperament, your values, your desires, and your way of moving through the world.

I think many women have been conditioned to treat pleasure as something frivolous or something earned only after productivity. But I’ve found the opposite to be true. Beauty, atmosphere, sensory delight, rest, inspiration - these things don’t distract me from creativity. They feed it.

The right music changes how I write. A beautiful café changes how I think. A long lunch with candles and conversation can regulate my entire nervous system.

Pleasure has become less of a reward and more of a way of staying connected to myself. And honestly? I think the world becomes infinitely more beautiful when women stop apologising for enjoying their lives.

Many women reach midlife and realise they have spent years being practical, needed, and responsible. What helped you reconnect with desire, freedom, and the parts of yourself that still wanted more?

I’ve always had very clear priorities in life. And for many years, my sons sat firmly at the top of that list.

I loved being deeply immersed in motherhood, building family life, creating traditions, showing up, and holding everything together. It never felt like a sacrifice to me. It felt meaningful, alive, important. But the day my youngest son flew the nest, something shifted quietly but completely.

Suddenly, the boys were building lives of their own, immersed in studies, love, future plans, vision casting, girlfriends, and becoming. Exactly as they should. And honestly, it filled me with pride to witness.

But the silence of the empty nest changed something fundamental inside me.

After a while, it almost felt as though I figuratively stumbled upon an old suitcase tucked away beneath the bed, filled with dreams I had carefully packed away years earlier. Dreams of France. Of adventure. Of a change of scenery. Of experiencing myself in a completely new environment with my senses wide open.

The desire had never disappeared. It had simply been quieter beneath the beautiful noise of responsibility.

And once life became still enough again, I could hear it. Not as some giant dramatic revelation. More like small inner sparks. Curiosity. Longing. Tiny quiet yeses. An image I couldn’t let go of. A feeling pulling gently but persistently in a certain direction.

I think many women are waiting for certainty before they begin again. But desire rarely arrives with a five-step business plan attached. It arrives as a whisper. A pull. A life that keeps tapping you softly on the shoulder.

And at some point, you either answer it… or you spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you had.

You speak about building a freedom-based life. What does freedom actually look like for you in the day-to-day, beyond the romantic idea of it?

Freedom looks surprisingly ordinary most days. It looks like drinking coffee slowly on a Tuesday morning. Working for a week from a summerhouse in a beautiful corner of Denmark and inviting my mother along, so she too gets a small adventure away from hospitals, routines, and ordinary days.

My laptop and camera are beside me like quiet companions. Structuring my work around my natural rhythms instead of forcing myself into systems that drain me.

For me, freedom has never really been about escaping life. It has been about building a life that allows me to stay connected to myself while fully living it.

A work life that moves with me instead of asking me to abandon myself in order to sustain it. It means being able to write from France one month and Denmark the next. Building income streams rooted in creativity rather than exhaustion. Having enough spaciousness to think, feel, reflect, learn, notice, and actually participate in my own life while I am living it.

I think many women in midlife are not necessarily longing for less ambition, but for more alignment. More honesty about what truly matters to them now. More freedom to design a life around their values, temperament, relationships, creativity, and well-being instead of constantly forcing themselves into structures that quietly deplete them.

But freedom also requires responsibility. Discipline. Courage. Reinvention. There is nothing passive about creating a life that feels aligned. People often romanticise freedom without talking about the level of self-trust it requires to sustain.

Summer can be a season of aliveness, but also of comparison and exposure, especially for women in midlife. What does it mean to let yourself be seen without performing?

I think it means letting yourself exist without constantly editing the experience. Without asking, how is this perceived? Without turning your life into a performance for invisible spectators.

There’s something deeply liberating about arriving at a stage in life where you become less interested in appearing impressive and more interested in feeling alive.

And strangely enough, I think that’s when people connect with you most deeply anyway, when you stop performing a life and simply inhabit it.

You’ve lived many creative lives already. How has midlife changed your relationship with ambition, success, and the way you want your work to feel?

My ambition used to be much more external. Achievement-oriented. Build, produce, accomplish. Now I’m far more interested in resonance than scale.

I still care deeply about meaningful work. I still love creating, building, writing, teaching, and evolving. But I no longer want success at the expense of my nervous system, creativity, freedom, or joy.

What has changed most, perhaps, is that I no longer want my life to exist mainly as a strategy for the future. I want to be inside it while it is happening.

I want my work to feel alive while I’m living it, not just impressive once it’s finished.

Midlife has made me much more curious, present, and connected. More interested in depth than performance. More willing to let intuition lead. More open to new learning, meaningful conversations, unexpected connections, and experiences that change me while I’m inside them.

And I think many women reach a point where they begin redefining success on their own terms instead of continuing to inherit someone else’s definition of it.

If a woman reading this feels she is standing on the edge of a new chapter but is scared to trust herself, what would you want her to know?

That almost nobody feels fully ready before a meaningful new beginning.

I certainly didn’t.

When I bought the house in France, people assumed I must have been extraordinarily brave and certain. In reality, I was simply more afraid of not living than I was of change.

You do not need absolute certainty to begin. You need curiosity. A little willingness. A tiny crack of possibility.

And often, the path only becomes visible after you take the first step.

When you think of summer now, in this chapter of your life, what are you most unwilling to postpone any longer?

Living fully. Not recklessly. Not perfectly. But fully. I think many women spend decades becoming extraordinarily competent at responsibility while quietly postponing themselves. Waiting to feel ready. Waiting for certainty. Waiting for a future version of life where there will finally be enough time, courage, permission, money, confidence, and clarity.

Living fully. Not recklessly. Not perfectly. But fully. I think many women spend decades becoming extraordinarily competent at responsibility while quietly postponing themselves. Waiting to feel ready. Waiting for certainty. Waiting for a future version of life where there will finally be enough time, courage, permission, money, confidence, and clarity.

But I’ve started to realise that fear never actually disappears before the leap. It simply joins you for the ride.

These days, I let fear come along, but it sits quietly in the back seat without any say in the route, the music, the coffee stops, or where we place the pin on the map. I understand now that fear is often just trying to protect me. But I’m a grown woman. I can make decisions even when I’m afraid.

And honestly? I want all of it. I want to pursue dreams. Take risks. Begin before I feel fully ready. Stumble, learn, get up again. I want to see the sun rise in places I’ve never been before. Meet people I would never have met if I had stayed behind in my old neighbourhood called Comfort Zone City.

I want to express myself honestly. Love deeply. Stay curious. Follow what feels alive. Say yes to the invitation. Wear the dress. Book the ticket. Order dessert.

I don’t want to merely observe life anymore. I want the full experience of being inside it. That, to me, feels like the real gift of midlife.

Reading Sif’s words, something settles. Not because her life looks like yours. It probably doesn’t. But because the feeling underneath it, that quiet ache for more alignment, more aliveness, more honesty about what you actually want now, that part is universal.

Midlife has a way of surfacing the life you postponed. The desire you carefully packed away. The version of yourself that never quite disappeared just got quieter beneath the noise of responsibility.

Sif heard hers. She answered it. And if there is one thing she would want you to take from this conversation, I think it is this: you do not need to feel ready. You need curiosity, a little willingness, and the courage to take one step before the whole path is visible.

The rest tends to follow.

You can find Sif over at Letters from Maison Violette, and if her words have landed somewhere in you today, that is probably exactly where you need to be.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

Professor Julie Cornish has been asking the same question. And she didn’t just ask it; she built something extraordinary in response to it. Julie is a colorectal consultant surgeon with a specialist interest in pelvic health and cancer. She’s spent years in clinical practice watching women arrive with symptoms they’d been told were normal. After having a baby, or getting older, or simply being female. And somewhere along the way, she decided that treating one woman at a time wasn’t enough.

So she created the Everywoman Festival: a clinically led, community-powered event that brings together expert talks, workshops, music, food, art, and the kind of honest conversation about women’s bodies that most of us were never given permission to have. It runs in London and Edinburgh, and it is, I have to say, exactly the kind of thing I wish had existed twenty years ago.

In this conversation, we talk about why women are still being dismissed by a system that doesn’t always know how to help them, what happens in midlife that nobody prepares us for, beyond the obvious, and why understanding your body isn’t a medical privilege. It should be a given.

Julie is warm, direct, and refreshingly free of any agenda other than this: women deserve better information. And they deserve it in a room that feels good to be in.

I think you’re going to love this one.

You’re a Professor and consultant surgeon, and yet you created a festival. That’s not the obvious next step. What was the moment, or the accumulation of moments, that made you think: I can’t just keep treating symptoms; I need to do something bigger than this?

I’d been involved with organisations locally and nationally, and could see that the things I was doing weren’t changing the picture quickly or weren’t being that effective. I could see the impact of the menopause moment and realised that going directly to the public was changing things, but I wanted to make sure the information getting out there was evidence-based and covered topics across the whole of a woman’s life rather than one moment in time.

You talk about hearing the same story from women over and over, being told their symptoms were normal, that they’d had a baby, that they were getting older. As a clinician, how do you sit with that frustration? And what do you think is really happening when women are dismissed in that way?

Every time I see a woman like that, I can do something to help them, so in some ways, although it’s frustrating to hear, it can be rewarding to make a real difference to that person. I think sometimes women get told that clinicians don’t know enough about the topic and what can be done to help. Health professionals have to cover a huge number of areas in their training, and to be honest, many of the areas we cover in the festival are topics that, up until now, haven’t been covered that well in medical training. That is changing, however, and that’s great 

The Everywoman Festival is described as clinically led and community-powered. I love that combination. Why does it matter that both things are present, and what does it actually look like when they’re working together on the day?

The festival content is delivered by health professionals, expert patients, and charities. You can definitely see that health professionals want to be part of that conversation and are excited to be involved. The speakers aren’t paid to be there. They give their time for free to help women get the information they need. 

The topics we cover are ones we know are often lacking or even missing entirely from the normal conversations women have, and we can kickstart those conversations, making women feel more comfortable having them or raising them with their doctors. And there are a lot of those conversations on the day, which contribute to that feeling of community. 

There’s a particular kind of shame that lives in women’s health conversations, especially around midlife, pelvic health, menopause, all the things the body does that nobody told us about. How do you create an environment where women feel safe enough to ask the questions they’ve been carrying for years?

Part of it is actually having conversations in public about the reality of our bodies and what can happen. We cover sex and intimacy, what happens after cancer treatment, anatomy, and lots of things about how our bodies work and are altered over time. A lot of it isn’t taught at school or isn’t always given to us when we need it. Having people speak openly and in a relaxed way makes others feel more comfortable.

It creates an amazing atmosphere on the day when it’s not pressured, and women who’ve never met can feel that they’re not alone. That someone else feels the same way or has the same problem. 

You’ve described women leaving doctors’ appointments still confused, still carrying unanswered questions. In your view, where is the system actually failing? And is it getting better?

Some of it is time – having a ten-minute slot to discuss difficult or complex problems is almost impossible. The system isn’t helping. Some of it is education. We looked at the medical and post-training curricula in my area of work, and the information on long-term consequences of physical injury after childbirth or cancer is missing. Part of that is that, as a profession, we haven’t focused as much on research in those areas. 

But it is changing, and the patient’s voice is becoming more central to research, so the topics being looked at matter. 

I’ve worked with a group at the Royal College of GPs to create a learning module on bowel issues after childbirth (the GRaCE study), and my other research area is focused on improving people’s quality of life after cancer (Polaris study). 

I think more research in women’s health is central, and women themselves need to take part in it, or things won’t change. That’s why we are supporting and promoting research projects as part of Everywoman. We are encouraging women to sign up for research and have links on the website to projects that they can take part in if they want.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO + TO BOOK YOUR TICKETS

You’re running a Menopause Tent at this year’s festival. What are the conversations you most want women in their 40s and 50s to be having, and aren’t?

I want women to understand the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause and the different options they have. There are many ways to help alleviate symptoms, and they don’t have to be medication.  It’s not just about the hormones; lots of other things change around this time. Our risk of developing cancer goes up around this time, and the earlier a cancer is picked up, the better the chance of survival and the impact of treatment needed for it. Women’s heart and bone health is a big issue, and key changes at this time of life can make a big difference to staying healthy and active into older age. We all age, but making sure we can do the things we want to do at that time is vital. 

There’s an enormous amount of health information available to women now - social media, podcasts, wellness brands - but also a lot of noise and misinformation. How do women in midlife start to distinguish between what’s credible and what’s being sold to them?

We are covering that in one of the sessions on the main stage, so come to the festival to start! On social

Media: One thing is, just because a post is liked by thousands of people doesn’t make it real. Some people call themselves doctors online who are not medical doctors, and some medical doctors are promoting themselves and their work for personal benefit. UK doctors are governed by the GMC, which sets rules on what can be said and promoted, but social media is a worldwide platform. 

Looking at trusted charities for info and signposting to information is useful. The Eve Appeal has recently been running a campaign on exactly this. 

As a female surgeon, still a relatively rare thing, what did you have to negotiate internally or externally to get to where you are? And does that experience inform how you think about what women need in midlife?

About 10% of surgical consultants are female, but the number of female trainees coming through is substantially higher, so change is happening more rapidly now. I’ve worked with some fantastic surgeons who’ve been supportive throughout my career, who are men and women, but it’s my family's support that’s really made the difference. 

I’ve had three children, and whilst I’ve had no issues with my own health, I’ve been aware that women around me have struggled to access the information they needed. I’m very aware of the privilege I have of having medical training and an understanding of what’s happening to my own body. No one should have to fight for information, and they should be able to trust the information they receive and have health professionals who understand them and how their treatment might be altered because of it. It’s not a one-size-fits-all. 

Something I find really interesting about the festival is that it mixes expert-led content with music, food, art, and creativity. That’s a very deliberate choice. Why does the experience of the day matter as much as the information being shared?

The Everywoman isn’t just helpful to women with a health issue; it’s for the healthy who want to stay that way, and for their family and friends who want to understand how they can help and what their loved one is going through. 

I go to a lot of medical conferences and know that too much information can be overwhelming and sometimes dull. If people are going to spend part of their weekend with us, then they are going to do it because it’s fun. It’s also a sneaky way to get people to listen to more talks than the ones they came for, since you don’t know what’s going to happen in life, and more information helps. 

If you could change one thing in healthcare, in culture, in the way women understand their own bodies, what would it be?

I’d like everyone to be told more at school and in day-to-day life about what’s normal. If you understand that, then you can seek help when things change. You can’t be an expert in every area of health, so you need the confidence to go to someone who can offer help that makes a difference. 

My worry is that there is a disconnect at the moment that makes women vulnerable to spending money on things that don’t help (and can even harm) because they are not getting the help they need. 

There was a line Julie said that I keep coming back to. That she’s aware of the privilege she has: having medical training, understanding what’s happening in her own body. And that no one should have to fight for that.

No one should have to fight for information about their own health. For a clinician to take their symptoms seriously. For a space where they can ask the question they’ve been carrying quietly for years.

And yet so many women do. Every single day.

What Julie has built with Everywoman Festival is one of those rare things, something that genuinely bridges the gap between the clinical and the human. Between what the research says and what women are actually experiencing. Between the ten-minute GP appointment and the conversation that actually needed to happen.

THE EVERYWOMAN FESTIVAL – BOOK YOUR TICKETS

If you’re in the UK, I’d love for you to look up the festival in London and Edinburgh and visit Everywomanfest.com. Go with a friend. Go with your daughter. Go by yourself. Just go.

And if this conversation stirred something in you, a question you’ve been sitting on, a symptom you’ve been quietly dismissing, a sense that your body deserves more attention than you’ve been giving it, let that be enough of a reason to start the conversation. With your doctor, with someone you trust, or just with yourself.

Her book, The Menopause Gut⁠, explores one of the most overlooked pieces of the midlife health puzzle: how gut health changes during perimenopause and menopause, and why those changes matter for energy, mood, weight, inflammation, cognition, and long-term ageing.

In this interview, Cynthia explains why midlife digestive symptoms are not random, why the gut should be central to the conversation about menopause, and how women can begin supporting their bodies with simple, sustainable foundations before reaching for complicated protocols.

What’s actually happening to the gut during perimenopause and menopause?

As estrogen begins to fluctuate and decline, it takes with it much of the microbial diversity your gut has spent decades building, resulting in a gut that is slower, more reactive, and far less resilient than it used to be. The motility of your digestive tract slows, the integrity of your gut lining weakens, and bacteria that were once kept in check begin to overgrow. What women experience as bloating, constipation, and new food sensitivities is not random; it is the gut telling you that the hormonal shift happening in your body is real and needs your attention.

Oestrogen, gut permeability, and microbial diversity

Estrogen is essentially a guardian of your gut lining; it helps maintain the tight junctions that keep your intestinal barrier intact and supports the growth of beneficial bacteria that keep inflammation in check. When estrogen fluctuates during perimenopause, that protective effect is compromised, the gut lining becomes more permeable, and the microbial community becomes less diverse and less stable. This matters enormously for midlife health because a leaky, dysbiotic gut drives the systemic inflammation that underlies nearly every chronic symptom women are told to just accept as part of ageing.

Insulin resistance, gut health, and inflammation

Insulin resistance, gut dysbiosis, and chronic inflammation are not three separate problems; they are one interconnected cycle that tends to accelerate in midlife when estrogen is no longer moderating them. A disrupted microbiome produces more inflammatory signals and fewer of the short-chain fatty acids that help your cells respond properly to insulin, which makes blood sugar harder to regulate and fat easier to store. The entry point to breaking that cycle is almost always the gut, because restoring microbial balance and reducing intestinal inflammation tend to improve insulin sensitivity.

The most common gut mistakes women make in midlife

The biggest one I see is women dramatically increasing fibre overnight, thinking more is always better, when a dysbiotic gut can actually react to a sudden fibre surge with significant bloating and discomfort that makes them give up entirely. I also see a lot of women cutting out entire food groups based on a sensitivity test or a trend, which reduces dietary diversity and ultimately starves the very microbiome they are trying to heal. Good intentions without personalisation can set women back, and that is why understanding your own gut is more important than following any universal protocol.

Intermittent fasting and hormonal resilience

Intermittent fasting can be a useful metabolic tool, but for many women in perimenopause, it adds a physiological stress load that their already-taxed adrenal and hormonal systems simply cannot absorb well. Skipping meals or compressing eating windows too aggressively can spike cortisol, disrupt the gut microbiome’s own circadian feeding rhythms, and worsen symptoms like anxiety, poor sleep, and blood sugar crashes. If you want to experiment with fasting, a gentle 12-hour overnight window is where I would start. If your symptoms worsen rather than improve, your body is giving you a clear answer.

How chronic gut inflammation shows up in everyday symptoms

Chronic gut inflammation is one of the most underrecognized drivers of the fatigue, weight gain, brain fog, and mood changes that women are routinely told are just menopause. When the gut barrier is compromised, inflammatory molecules circulate systemically and cross into the brain, disrupt thyroid function, impair mitochondrial energy production, and interfere with neurotransmitter synthesis. So what looks like a mood problem, a metabolism problem, or a cognitive problem is often, at its root, a gut problem that has been burning quietly in the background for years.

Foundational gut practices before adding anything else

Before you spend a single dollar on probiotics or supplements, I want you to focus on three things: eating at least 30 different plant foods a week, prioritising 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep, and managing your nervous system daily, because none of the extras will work in a body that is sleep-deprived and chronically stressed. A diverse, fibre-rich diet fed consistently at regular times is the most evidence-backed thing you can do for your microbiome, and it does not require a protocol or a practitioner. Build the foundation first, and then layer on targeted support from a place of stability rather than desperation.

Stress, cortisol, and the gut in midlife

Chronic stress is one of the most direct and damaging things you can do to your microbiome, because cortisol actively reduces microbial diversity, increases intestinal permeability, and slows gut motility, all of which create the conditions for dysbiosis and digestive dysfunction. In midlife, this becomes particularly relevant because the adrenal glands take over some estrogen production as the ovaries wind down, meaning your stress response and your hormonal resilience are now competing for the same resources. When you are constantly running on cortisol, your gut pays the price first, and your hormones pay the price second.

Powerful, sustainable daily habits for gut health

The women I see thrive in midlife are not doing the most; they are doing the right things consistently, and that usually comes down to eating a wide variety of whole plants, moving their bodies in a way that feels good rather than punishing, protecting their sleep, and finding at least one daily practice that genuinely downregulates their nervous system. Chewing slowly, eating without distraction, and not rushing through meals might sound too simple to matter, but they are foundational to digestion in a way that no supplement can replicate. Your gut does not need a complicated plan; it needs you to stop treating it like an afterthought.

The one belief shift

The belief I most want to change, among women and their doctors, is that midlife digestive symptoms are a normal and inevitable part of ageing that simply have to be tolerated. They are common, yes, but common is not the same as inevitable, and dismissing them means missing one of the most important windows to intervene in a woman’s long-term health. When we start treating the gut as central to the menopause conversation rather than peripheral to it, we change not just how women feel in their 40s and 50s, but how they age for the next four decades.

What Cynthia makes beautifully clear is that gut health in midlife is not a side issue. It is central. When oestrogen fluctuates, the microbiome changes. When stress rises, digestion suffers. When sleep is poor, inflammation builds. And when women are told that bloating, fatigue, brain fog, and weight gain are simply “part of ageing”, they miss one of the most powerful opportunities to support their future health.

The reassurance here is that this does not have to become another overwhelming project. Cynthia’s approach brings us back to the foundations: diverse whole foods, steady rhythms, quality sleep, nervous system support, gentle consistency, and learning to listen to the body rather than override it. Her message is practical, but also deeply empowering: common is not the same as inevitable.

If your gut has felt louder in midlife, perhaps it isn’t betraying you. Perhaps it is asking for your attention. And maybe, by tending to it with more care, you begin not only to feel better now, but to shape the way you age for decades to come.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

That’s why I was so drawn to this conversation with Terry Tateossian, founder of THOR: The House of Rose, women’s midlife health coach, strength coach, macro-based nutritionist, and host of the podcast How Good Can It Get. Terry’s story is one of profound reinvention. After early perimenopause, serious health struggles, emotional eating, burnout, and decades of pushing herself beyond what her body could sustain, she made a different choice. She stopped fighting herself and started listening.

What followed wasn’t just weight loss. It was a complete transformation in how she lived, trained, nourished herself, and understood what was truly possible in midlife. In this interview, Terry speaks candidly about strength, nervous system support, self-sabotage, body shame, burnout, and why women over 40 don’t need more punishment. They need a different approach entirely.

You went through early perimenopause at 37, multiple health struggles, and a major body transformation in midlife. Looking back, what was the biggest shift, physically or emotionally, that changed everything for you?

The biggest shift for me during this entire transformation was mental and emotional. I hear to rewire my entire identity, retire old beliefs about myself that were simply no longer true, and establish myself as someone who intentionally cares about her physical appearance. It wasn’t vain or irresponsible to spend time in the gym, eat well, and dedicate attention to my appearance and health. The biggest shift happened when I stopped fighting and resisting myself and instead started asking, “What does my body actually need?”

So many women over 40 feel like their bodies have suddenly stopped responding to what used to work. What do you think women most need to understand about why midlife weight loss is different?

As women, we have been fed so many outdated stories. That we need to be small, invisible, thin, young, or we won’t be relevant. And although our traditional approach of eating less, doing more cardio may have worked in our 20’s, it starts working against us in peri menopause and menopause. When our bodies start experiencing hormonal rhythm fluctuations, reduction in strength, muscle mass loss, bone density loss, sensitivity to stress, and changes in how our bodies process carbs and recover, we need a new approach. One that takes all of these factors into account.

You speak openly about outdated advice like extreme diets and excessive cardio backfiring in midlife. Why does that approach so often make things worse for women over 40 rather than better?

When we apply these modalities specifically to women over 40 whose bodies are already going through a transitional period, it increases stress and raises cortisol, reduces the ability to recover, and we end up in a worse place metabolically than we started out. When we lose muscle mass, fat loss becomes harder.

Your work combines macro-based nutrition, strength training, nervous system support, and identity work. Why is it not enough to focus on food and workouts alone when helping women in midlife truly change?

Because we are not just struggling with weight and food. We are bringing old patterns, stress, and identity into the process. Human beings are messy and beautiful. In order to see true lasting change that is sustainable for a lifetime, we need to address the underlying causes, old beliefs, and outdated patterns. Maybe someone’s nervous system is systemically dysregulated, and they use food to cope. Or maybe they hold a belief that going to the gym is vain and a waste of time. Getting to the source of these beliefs is the difference between short-term results and lasting transformation.

Many women in midlife are carrying decades of emotional eating, self-sabotage, and body shame. How do you help them break those patterns without turning health into another form of punishment?

First, we remove the shame. Most of us have spent decades in the “all or nothing cycle”, being “good” and then “falling off“. This is usually followed by the punishing phase. And the cycle begins again. If I were to be blunt, emotional eating has nothing to do with food. It presents as an issue with food, but under the surface, it is about regulation and coping skills.

Strength seems to be a huge part of your philosophy. What changes, not just in the body but in a woman’s confidence and self-concept, when she starts training for strength instead of shrinking?

Strength gives women something most of us have never experienced before: proof that we are capable. And that confidence spills over into every other aspect of our lives. We start asking ourselves: “If I can do this, what else can I do?”

You built THOR: The House of Rose as an experiential wellness brand for women over 40. What were women missing from traditional wellness spaces that you knew needed to be created differently?

Most wellness spaces are either too clinical, too performative, or completely disconnected from real life. In my opinion, women in midlife need to feel safe, to be seen, and to truly reset. Sometimes that means stepping out of our lives long enough to see things clearly; sometimes it means finding like-minded people on the same journey and making new connections.

There’s often grief in midlife, for the years we abandoned ourselves, the body we lost trust in, the dreams we postponed. How do you help women hold that grief while still moving toward possibility and self-acceptance?

Grief is a natural process in this stage, and most women experience it one way or another. So many changes are taking place in midlife. Roles are changing. Relationships are changing. Children are growing up, and our identity as who we believe we are based on those roles, is changing.

And so instead of rushing past the grief or avoiding it, we create space for it. Expect it. And in a sense, embrace it. When we give ourselves permission to feel it and heal, it opens up new possibilities for us.

The power we can generate in midlife is not about going backwards or trying to reclaim our “youth”. The power is in realising how much more is available to us than we didn’t have time to pursue in the past.

As a former high-achieving entrepreneur, you know what burnout looks like from the inside. What would you say to the woman who has been successful in life and business, but feels exhausted, disconnected, and unwell in her own body?

Yes, I know that woman well. Successful on paper but exhausted in her body. Disconnected from herself.
I would tell her: “Find real support!” When you start supporting yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally through proper nutrition, strength, recovery, and space, everything will fall into place. I did for me.

If you could leave women over 40 with one truth about midlife, health, and what’s still possible for them, what would you want them to know?

We are in a new era! So much information, new discoveries, new products and new expertise are available to us. There has never been a better time to be a midlife woman! Now that we are in midlife, we get to live life on OUR terms. No more sacrifices, no more obligations! We can build lives that actually work for us! 

What I love about Terry’s perspective is that she doesn’t romanticise midlife, but she absolutely refuses to write it off. She speaks to the grief, the exhaustion, the years of self-abandonment many women carry, but she also keeps bringing the conversation back to possibility. Back to strength. Back to what becomes available when a woman stops trying to become smaller and starts building a life and a body that actually supports her.

This conversation is a reminder that lasting change in midlife is never just about macros or workouts. It’s about identity. It’s about nervous system safety. It’s about telling the truth about what no longer works and having the courage to choose something better. Terry’s journey proves what so many women need to hear: it is not too late, your body is not broken, and midlife is not the end of your vitality. In many ways, it can be the beginning of the most intentional, self-honouring chapter yet.

You can explore Terry’s work, coaching, retreats, and community here: Thehouseofrose.com

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

That’s why I was so drawn to this conversation with Annie Coleman, Ambassador at the Stanford Centre on Longevity and Founder of Realise Longevity, where she helps organisations and leaders turn the 100-year life into a real strategic advantage, not just a headline. Annie brings a rare mix of sharp leadership insight and deeply human perspective. She doesn’t talk about longevity as anti-ageing or optimisation theatre. She talks about it as what it really is: a chance to design a life that’s sustainable, meaningful, and aligned with who you’ve become.

In this interview, we explore the questions midlife forces us to face: what success is actually for, why exhaustion is often the first crack, how identity recalibrates, and what becomes possible when ambition shifts from proving to purpose. If you’ve been feeling that inner nudge to rethink how you live and lead, Annie’s words will land.

You help organisations prepare for the 100-year life. When you zoom out, what do you think midlife is really here to teach us about work and about how we want to live?

Midlife is a wake-up call. It asks us to stop living on autopilot and start living deliberately. In the first half of life, many of us are busy proving ourselves, building careers, raising families, meeting expectations. Midlife is when the question shifts from “How do I succeed?” to “What is this success actually for?”

It teaches us that time is our most precious asset. That energy matters. That relationships matter. That purpose isn’t something you retire into; it’s something you need now. It’s an invitation to design a life that’s sustainable and meaningful. Not just impressive.

So many women reach midlife and quietly realise the old way of doing life isn’t working anymore. What tends to be the first “crack”?

Often, it’s exhaustion. Not “I’m tired this week,” but a deep, existential tiredness. A sense of “I can’t keep doing this at this pace, in this way, for another 20 years.” Sometimes it’s triggered by a health scare, redundancy, children leaving home, a relationship shift, or simply waking up one morning feeling strangely disconnected from the life you’ve built. The crack is usually emotional before it’s practical: loss of motivation, irritability, boredom, or a quiet grief for the parts of yourself you’ve sidelined. It’s not failure. It’s information.

We’re living longer, but many of us weren’t taught how to live longer well. What are the foundations of a good long life?

I think about this through what I call a Purpose Portfolio, the mix of assets we build to support a long, healthy, meaningful life.

It has three elements.

1. Vitality Assets: movement, sleep, nutrition, emotional regulation, recovery and relationships. Not as “wellness extras,” but as strategic investments. In a 100-year life, energy is your primary currency. Also, the people who inspire you and light you up. These are the relationships you need to spend time investing in.

2. Productive Assets: skills, experience, networks, reputation. We all have capabilities we’re good at; the ones we’re good at and love to do are our true strengths. Using those strengths in later life is crucial if we want to feel genuinely fulfilled. My own career didn’t wind down in my 50s; it took off. I was headhunted into UBS at 51, spent eight years there, then became CHRO at UniCredit, leaving at 61. Those were my most fulfilling and best-paid years.

3. Transformation Assets: our desire to make a lasting impact, to know our life matters. It doesn’t have to be a grand, capital‑P Purpose. It’s about doing something, however small, that feels meaningful to you.

When these three are in balance, people tend to live with confidence, relevance and a grounded sense of purpose.

Midlife often comes with an identity recalibration. How do you help organisations make space for that?

I help organisations reframe what they’re seeing. What’s so often labelled as “loss of drive” is, in reality, someone asking a more searching question: “Does this work still reflect who I am and what I value?” That’s not disengagement; that’s a leadership inflection point

I’ve lived this myself. I stepped into one of the most demanding roles of my career at 51. If anyone had assumed I was winding down, they would have been very wrong. What changed wasn’t my ambition, but my appetite for work that actually matched my experience and values.

So instead of asking, “What’s wrong with her?” I encourage leaders to ask, “What’s emerging here and how do we support it?” That shift opens the door to better conversations about redesigning roles, stretching responsibilities, and aligning talent with where someone is now, not where they were at 35.

When organisations make space for this, midlife stops looking like a problem to be managed and starts functioning as an engine of deeper judgement, perspective and strategic thinking. In other words, identity recalibration becomes a source of strategic advantage, not a performance risk.

For women, midlife can be layered with menopause, caregiving, and changing bodies. Why isn’t this a private issue to manage quietly?

Because it’s not merely an individual issue. It’s a systemic one. At exactly the point when women are at their most experienced and valuable, many are also navigating intense biological change and heavy social pressures. Expecting them to “just cope” in silence isn’t resilience; it’s wasteful and unfair. With simple adjustments, flexibility, health support, manager education, and realistic workloads, organisations can choose between quietly burning out exceptional women and retaining some of their most irreplaceable talent.

Many women are redefining success in midlife. What changes when ambition becomes about sustainability and self-trust?

When ambition becomes sustainable, women stop running their lives like an endless sprint and start treating energy, health and time as nonnegotiable assets. Success shifts from “How much can I carry?” to “What is worth carrying?” and that alone changes careers, relationships and leadership choices. When self-trust replaces the need for constant external validation, women back their own judgment, say no more cleanly, and take braver, better-aligned risks. The result is a way of living that looks calmer and clearer on the surface, but underneath is more courageous, principled, and resilient than ever.

There’s often a quiet grief that comes with the 100-year life. How does that show up at work?

It shows up as overwork, perfectionism, restlessness, or disengagement. Sometimes, as anger. Sometimes, as a sadness people can’t quite name, often driven by pouring energy into meeting others’ expectations instead of investing in what we truly want and need to feel fulfilled and reach our full potential. Many high‑performing women realise they’ve been living reactively rather than intentionally. The grief tends to gather around the things we didn’t do; regrets rarely attach to the things we tried.

I recognised that in myself at one point, being very capable, very busy, and quietly wondering when I had last stopped to ask what I wanted next. Acknowledged, this grief becomes wisdom and a catalyst for change. Suppressed, it becomes burnout. But it’s rarely too late; I’m a firm believer that, for many of us, the best is still to come.

If someone is entering their second chapter now, what questions should they ask themselves?

I start with these:

• What do I want more of, and less of?

• What gives me energy, not just status?

• How do I want to be remembered?

• What am I willing to let go of?

Then:

• What skills do I need now?

• What am I tolerating?

• What would I try if I knew I couldn’t fail?

These questions shift people from drifting into designing.

From an organisational perspective, what’s possible when companies invest in midlife women?

You unlock extraordinary value when you treat midlife women as a strategic asset, not an HR problem to be managed. Organisations that back women in their 40s, 50s and beyond tap into deep institutional knowledge, stabilise leadership pipelines, improve culture, and see measurable gains in retention, innovation and

performance. You get leaders who can hold complexity, mentor across generations, and connect strategy with humanity in a way younger talent simply hasn’t had time to learn. In other words, you’re not “doing the right thing”; you’re compounding your organisation’s most sophisticated form of human capital

If you could leave midlife women with one truth, what would it be?

The one truth is this: midlife is not a cliff; it’s a concentrated season of power. Studies of senior women leaders show that this stage often brings greater confidence, clearer identity, sharper judgment, and a renewed sense of purpose, even alongside real pressures and hormonal change. You are not “past your peak”; you are standing at the point where experience, resilience and self-knowledge finally catch up with your ambition. Longevity means you likely have decades of impact ahead, which turns midlife from an ending into a launchpad for reinvention, bolder leadership, and work that feels truer to who you’ve become.

This is not the beginning of the end. It’s the beginning of your most intentional chapter. You are not behind. You are better equipped than ever. For many women, the best is genuinely yet to come, not because life gets easier, but because you finally have the clarity, confidence, and courage to design it on your own terms.

What I love about Annie’s perspective is that she doesn’t romanticise midlife and she doesn’t pathologise it either. She names it as the wake-up call it is: a moment when time becomes real, energy becomes precious, and you start asking better questions. Not just about work, but about how you actually want to live.

Her idea of a Purpose Portfolio is such a grounding reframe, especially for women who’ve spent decades being everything to everyone: vitality as an asset, skills and reputation as fuel for your second chapter, and a deeper kind of contribution that doesn’t need to be loud to be meaningful. And perhaps most importantly, Annie validates what so many women feel but don’t always have language for: that the grief, the restlessness, the irritability, the quiet sadness at work isn’t weakness. It’s information. It’s wisdom knocking.

If you’re in the thick of perimenopause, caregiving, career pressure, or that strange sense of outgrowing your old life, let this be the reminder Annie offers so clearly: midlife is not a cliff. It’s a concentrated season of power. You’re not behind. You’re not past it. You are, in many ways, better equipped than you’ve ever been to choose what’s worth carrying and what you’re finally ready to put down.
You can explore Annie’s work and Realise Longevity here: https://www.realiselongevity.com/

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

This feature is my way of widening the conversation. The International Women’s Day Midlife Renaissance is a collection of influential midlife women, each sharing the small, powerful shifts that hold them steady: the boundaries they now honour, the beliefs they’ve outgrown, the habits that support their nervous system, the truths they wish every woman knew about this chapter, especially when hormones, identity, and confidence are all being renegotiated at once. Not polished soundbites, real-life wisdom. The kind that meets you where you are and reminds you that reinvention is not reserved for the fearless. It belongs to the willing.

Consider this your permission slip and your mirror. A reminder that your next chapter doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s, and it certainly doesn’t need to be smaller.

JULIE PARKER

Julie Parker is the Founder of The Beautiful You Coaching Academy and a mentor, counsellor, coach, supervisor, guide and certified breathwork facilitator for sacred leaders and space holders.

One thing I’ve stopped doing in midlife (and I’m better for it): Dying my hair to cover up my silvers and greys. I’m now embracing my natural hair and loving it. This was not initially an easy decision or process, as I was worried about how it might ‘age’ me and make me look older. I have released that conditioned fear now with full confidence.

One habit that supports my nervous system: I now pay more attention to my sleep than I ever have, and this usually involves going to bed quite early. Entering perimenopause and menopause deeply impacted my sleep and made it incredibly disrupted. I had to focus on my sleep hygiene and habits and make changes to get them to be in a place of deeply supporting me. It’s done wonders, and I now sleep much better and feel more energised and vibrant throughout the day.

One thing that’s genuinely helped me through menopause or hormonal change (non-medical is fine): Strength training. I am now more focused on building muscle and all-over body strength than I ever have been, and I know it’s helping me feel more grounded, sure, and confident in my body in all ways – physically, mentally, emotionally.

One truth I wish every woman knew about this season: That it’s so incredibly powerful. This is our final stage of life before our elder years. It’s a time when we can truly and unapologetically be ourselves – with the wisdom of all our life experience to back that up.

Favourite Quote:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.” ~ Erma Bombeck

Top advice for a woman in midlife: Do whatever you need to do to fully embrace yourself and your life dreams NOW. Don’t enter your elder years with any regrets about who you wanted to be or what you wanted to do.

Website: Juliesuzanneparker.com | Instagram: @julesyparker

MEGAN DALLA-CAMINA

Megan Dalla-Camina is a women’s empowerment guide, author, PhD researcher in women’s spirituality, and founder of Women Rising. Her work supports women in reconnecting with feminine wisdom, embodiment, and inner truth. Her fourth book, She Who Remembers, will be released on April 13, 2026.

One thing I’ve stopped doing in midlife (and I’m better for it): Pushing through exhaustion as if it were a virtue. Midlife taught me that ignoring my body was never a strength; it was disconnection. I no longer override my needs to meet expectations that were never designed with women’s rhythms in mind. Rest, pause, and recalibration are now part of how I live and lead.

One boundary I now honour, no apology: I don’t over-explain my decisions anymore. If something isn’t aligned, my “no” is enough. I’ve learned that clarity doesn’t require justification, and that honouring my boundaries is an act of self-respect, not selfishness.

One habit that supports my nervous system: Slow mornings. Even ten minutes of quiet, breath, meditation, or being outside before the day begins changes everything. This is where I orient myself back to presence rather than pressure, and where my nervous system learns it is safe to soften before the world asks anything of me.

One belief about midlife I no longer subscribe to: That it’s a winding down. For many women, it’s a profound awakening, just not always in the way we were taught to expect. Midlife often strips away what’s no longer true, so something wiser, more embodied, and more sovereign can emerge.

One joy I’ve reclaimed: Writing without an outcome. No agenda, no audience, just words that want to be written. It’s a simple pleasure, but it reconnects me to creativity as a source of vitality rather than productivity.

One practice that helps me feel like myself again: Meditation and embodied ritual. Returning to stillness, breath, and presence brings me home to myself again and again. My meditation practice has been a deep anchor for many years, and it’s the foundation from which my work and my teaching continue to unfold.

One truth I wish every woman knew about this season: Nothing has gone wrong. Midlife isn’t a failure of who you were; it’s an invitation to remember who you truly are. This is often the moment feminine wisdom rises to the surface, asking to be listened to, trusted, and lived.

Top advice for a woman in midlife: Listen more closely to what’s stirring beneath the noise. This season is asking for honesty, presence, and inner authority, and it will meet you when you do.

Website: Megandallacamina.com | Instagram: @megandallacamina

HANNA OLIVAS

Hanna Olivas is a global media executive, women’s economy architect, and co-founder of She Rises Studios and FENIX TV, amplifying women’s voices across 127 countries through media, publishing, and global platforms.

One thing I’ve stopped doing in midlife (and I’m better for it): Over-explaining myself. Clarity doesn’t require justification.

One boundary I now honour, no apology: I protect my energy. Access to me is intentional, not automatic.

One habit that supports my nervous system: Daily grounding, breathwork, and silence before screens or strategy.

One belief about midlife I no longer subscribe to: That relevance fades with age. Influence deepens when a woman knows who she is.

One truth I wish every woman knew about this season: Midlife isn’t an ending; it’s a recalibration into power, confidence, and truth.

Favorite quote:

“Becoming yourself is the most disruptive thing a woman can do.”

Top advice for a woman in midlife: Listen inward before you look outward. This chapter rewards alignment over approval.

Website: Sherisesstudios.com | Instagram: @hannaolivasofficial

ANNE-MARIE ZANZAL

Anne-Marie Zanzal, M.Div., is a Queer writer, ordained minister, and LGBTQIA+ coach specialising in later-in-life coming out. She hosts Coming Out & Beyond | LGBTQIA+ Stories and builds communities rooted in compassion, clarity, and shared common humanity.

One thing I’ve stopped doing in midlife (and I’m better for it): Worrying about what other people think of me and my life. A requirement for anyone in the Queer community.

One boundary I now honour, no apology: Not apologising for taking up space.

One habit that supports my nervous system: I am a meditator, and I practice mindfulness daily. I started this over 20 years ago, and I do believe it led to me claiming my authenticity.

One thing that’s genuinely helped me through menopause or hormonal change: I am a big believer in HRT, and I am lucky I can take it.

One belief about midlife I no longer subscribe to: That life is OVER at 50. This has literally been the best 10 years of my life for personal fulfilment and growth, friendships, and falling in love with the right gender for my sexual orientation.

One joy I’ve reclaimed: Noticing the smallest things in life that bring me joy. This comes from my mindfulness package. Recently, I have taken to documenting these experiences with photos on my phone.

One practice that helps me feel like myself again: Working out, hands down. I love doing water aerobics to Prince and Beyoncé.

One truth I wish every woman knew about this season: It is never too late to change your life. If you are unhappy or restless, only YOU can change that.

Favourite quote:

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver

Top advice for a woman in midlife: You can leave a long-term relationship that is no longer connected to or supportive of your wants and desires.

Website: Annemariezanzal.com | Instagram: @annemariezanzalcoaching

FAYE CHAPMAN

Faye Chapman is a women’s health and high-performance coach helping busy professionals rebuild energy, metabolism, and confidence through science-led nutrition, strength training, and stress regulation, without extreme dieting or burnout.

One boundary I now honour, no apology: Putting myself first. Like most women, I was brought up not to be selfish, to make sure everyone else is ok first, and to put my own needs at the bottom of the pile. This resulted in my burning out, being passive in my own life, and feeling disconnected from those who were important to me. I was running on fumes. I started saying no to others and prioritising my own needs: solitude, space to recharge, and time to work on myself. These all grounded me and brought awareness to what was important to me and what was burning me out. Taking this time guilt-free (although the guilt started strong, it eventually wore off) has allowed me to be more productive in my business, more present with others, and healthier mentally and physically.

One habit that supports my nervous system: Every day, I avoid my phone for 30 minutes after I wake up and 30-60 minutes before I go to sleep. Not only does this help my circadian rhythm, but it also supports my nervous system. With the brain being most malleable, the 30 minutes around sleep, avoiding potential stressors such as email, self-comparison, or current world affairs on social media, only disrupts the relaxation needed at the bookend of each day.

One belief about midlife I no longer subscribe to: You SHOULD be “settled down/married/have kids/stable job/insert other societal expectations here”. After living for other people and a life that I thought I should be living, I realised that that isn’t living. That’s playing a role in someone else’s movie. Now I choose things that may seem unconventional, but that bring me joy – like renting out my house and becoming a digital nomad with my partner!

One practice that helps me feel like myself again: Something creative. Sometimes this is journaling to help me process my thoughts or struggles I have been through. Other times, it is sketching or doing some charcoal work. At times, writing or reading has been my go-to, too. Things that take me out of the “real world” and make me focus on my interpersonal space, keeping my brain and my hands focused on one thing.

One truth I wish every woman knew about this season: Nobody has it figured out. No matter how it may look online, at work, or to friends, or people you aspire to be like, everyone has their own struggles. Nobody has the perfect path, and those who look like they do are often battling their own demons, not enoughness, isolation, or seeking external validation. So instead of comparing yourself to them, turn inwards, and ask yourself what YOU want from the rest of your life. It is NOT too late.

Favourite quote:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” ~ Henry Ford

Top advice for a woman in midlife: Make small daily choices that you can be proud of. You don’t need to run a marathon or become a top-10 author; you need to make small decisions that move you closer to becoming the person you want to become.

Website: www.thisiscoaching.net | Instagram: @fayenicolafitness

ERIN HERMAN

Erin Herman is a leadership strategist and keynote speaker who spent two decades in global executive roles, including at the United Nations and St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, before midlife called her into purpose-driven work helping women lead with courage and self-trust.

One thing I’ve stopped doing in midlife (and I’m better for it): I stopped staying in roles that made me play small. Leaving a steady paycheck was difficult but intentional. Midlife gave me the clarity to trust my own judgement and step into a role that held intrinsic value not only for myself, but to all those that I come in contact with, and hence I became a Keynote Speaker.

One boundary I now honour, no apology: I no longer over-explain my decisions to people who don’t carry the weight of my consequences. Peace came when I realised alignment doesn’t require agreement. It took me a long time to decipher that my value system does not need to align with the individual that I am working tirelessly to over-explain and convince otherwise. Once I understood this, my boundaries became reinforced and my freedom enhanced.

One habit that supports my nervous system: Early morning workouts, before the world asks anything of me. Strength training isn’t about fitness anymore; it’s my lifeline. I have set so many goals for myself each morning, and having the opportunity to walk into the gym each day and honour those promises I have made to myself helps me to honour the promises I have made to others as the day goes on.

One belief about midlife I no longer subscribe to: That midlife means the end of life. For me, it’s been a powerful opening into discernment, confidence, and the courage to choose purpose over predictability.

One truth I wish every woman knew about this season: This is your best season yet! Stop outsourcing your worth and trust your own judgement, and you will develop invaluable self-esteem, which will be your moral compass throughout this next journey.

Favorite quote:

“Your desire for more is not a flaw; it is information.”

Top advice for a woman in midlife: Listen closely to what keeps tugging at you. Reinvention doesn’t require burning everything down, just the courage to take your own calling seriously.

Website: TheErinHerman.com | Instagram: @eebherm

LANA ANTONOVA

Lana Antonova is the Founder & Creative Director of Webvixxen Design, and a multi-founder of several other ventures, where she focuses on building brands, platforms, and businesses rooted in clarity, longevity, and meaningful reinvention.

One thing I have quit doing in my midlife years (and I am better off for it): I’ve stopped chasing the urgency that isn’t mine. Not every fire deserves my nervous system, and not every timeline deserves my body.

One boundary I now honour, no apology: I no longer feel the need to explain my rationale for my decisions. Explanations are not needed if the answer is clear.

One habit that helps my nervous system: Walking every day (with my beautiful girl, Panda, my dog), without headphones or staring into my phone. Just the act of moving, the process of breathing, the connection with her and the ability to allow my thoughts to settle rather than forcing myself through them.

One belief about midlife that I no longer subscribe to: That reinvention is a reaction to loss. For me, midlife has been an expansion, not a correction.

One truth I wish every woman knew about this season: You don’t have to become someone else. You simply need to come home to yourself, with fewer filters and stronger boundaries.

Favorite quote:

“You don’t get wiser by avoiding life. You get wiser by living it honestly.”

Best tip for a woman in midlife: Don’t let society’s timelines or expectations dictate your next chapter. Don’t wait for permission anymore. You have clarity, experience, and instincts that are sufficient to construct what’s coming next.

Website: Webvixxen.com | Instagram: @lanaantonovaofficial

ROBIN EMILIANI

Robin is the Co- Founder and Chief Growth Officer at Catalyst Marketing. Her passion for combining beautiful design with compelling language and data-driven strategies ensures her work not only delivers exceptional results but also resonates authentically with audiences.

One thing I have quit doing in my midlife years (and I am better off for it): I’ve stopped trying to soften myself, and I show up authentically. For years, I’d hedge my opinions and hold back what I really thought, whether leading my team, talking with my sons, showing up in my relationship, or navigating friendships. I was performing a version of myself that I thought people would find more palatable, especially as a woman in business. Now I say what I mean and show up as I am. What I’ve learned is that my clients, family, friends, and partners actually prefer the unfiltered version. Dropping that filter has made me more confident in every role I play, and it turns out authenticity is magnetic in business and in life.

One boundary I now honour, no apology: I spend my time with people who share my values, and I don’t apologise for it. There was a time I’d say yes to every networking event, coffee meeting, or social obligation to prove I was engaged and available. Now I’m intentional about who gets my time and energy. If someone consistently drains more than they give, or if our values don’t align, I’m out. No guilt. I’ve learned that being selective isn’t being exclusive. It’s being protective of what matters most. The right relationships energise you and are built on mutual respect. The wrong ones exhaust you, no matter how impressive they look on paper. My time is finite, and I choose who deserves my energy.

One habit that helps my nervous system: I read every day, and it’s become my reset button. About a year ago, my sons gave me a Kindle for Christmas, and it transformed my routine. Now I can read in bed without disturbing my partner, or listen to audiobooks during my morning runs. I’ve discovered I’m far more motivated by a good story than I ever was by music. I’m selective about what I read, so I know I’m going to be pulled in. That anticipation gets me out of bed, into the cold, and moving. Something is grounding about starting my day inside someone else’s story before the demands of my own take over. It quiets my mind and energises me at the same time.

One thing that’s genuinely helped me through menopause or hormonal change: Grace, for myself and my body. I have brain fog, fatigue, aches, and pains. But I’m also grateful this body carried three babies and has gotten me through two decades of building a business. I went all in on hormone replacement therapy despite some doctors’ gaslighting me, insisting my hormones didn’t warrant HRT. The estrogen was life-changing. It felt like my old self had climbed back into my body, and I couldn’t believe the energy it gave me. But on the days when I still don’t quite feel like myself, I acknowledge it without judgment. I show myself grace for what I’m experiencing and gratitude for the life I’ve been able to live. Menopause doesn’t deserve shame or silence. It deserves the same honest, compassionate response we’d give any other major transition.

One joy I’ve reclaimed: The joy of less. I’ve become relentless about purging things that don’t serve me, like clothes I don’t wear, books I won’t reread, and items that just take up space. Every other week, I fill bags for donation, and it feels like exhaling. For years, I held onto things out of guilt, nostalgia, or some imagined future need. Now I’ve reclaimed the clarity and lightness that come with simplicity. Fewer things mean less mental clutter, less to manage, less weighing me down. Turns out, joy isn’t in accumulating; it’s in letting go. My space feels calmer, my mind feels clearer, and I’m done apologising for choosing less over more.

Favorite quote:

“There is nothing comfortable about being brave.” ~ Brené Brown

Best tip for a woman in midlife: Let go of what doesn’t serve you. Relationships, obligations, stuff, outdated versions of yourself. There’s incredible power in simplicity and clarity about what actually matters.

Website: Catalystmarketing.io | Instagram: @catalystmarketingdenver

If there’s a thread running through every woman in this edit, it’s this: midlife isn’t the part where you fade out; it’s the part where you come back online, not louder, necessarily, just clearer, more honest, more unwilling to abandon yourself for the sake of keeping the peace. These aren’t glossy soundbites; they are lived decisions, the kind that rebuild your life quietly from the inside out.

And if reading this has stirred something in you, take that seriously, not as pressure to change everything overnight, but as information, a signal that your next chapter wants your attention.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

You’veworked closely with leading menopause clinicians for many years while also navigating early menopause yourself. How did your personal experience change the way you understood the gaps in menopause care and support?

I realised more than ever just how individual and complex menopause can be, and how debilitating it can be. Menopause affects the entire system, with overlapping physical, emotional, and cognitive symptoms that do not fit neatly into short appointments or standard protocols.

Even today, with far more awareness than there was three or four years ago, I still see women being dismissed. For those who do not feel right on HRT, or for women who are more complex and cannot take HRT, many end up either continuing to suffer and giving up on treatment altogether or being forced to self-fund specialist care.

There are also still significant gaps across the wider medical system. Whether in gynaecology, oncology, psychiatry or other specialist pathways, there remains a fundamental lack of understanding about hormones and how central they are to women’s health. I hope this changes over time, because improving this knowledge across specialities would transform outcomes for women.

Establishing the Marion Gluck Training Academy helped shape how doctors are trained internationally in menopause care. From your perspective, where has medical understanding improved, and where is it still falling short for women?

I genuinely feel we have come a long way in recent years, and in many ways this has been driven by women themselves feeling empowered to go to their GP and ask for help with their menopause. For many GPs, the overall standard of menopause care has improved, and we do not talk enough about how far things have moved forward. Women now have access to a range of bio-identical hormone options through the health service, which is a major step in the right direction.

In the private sector, particularly among doctors who have undertaken specialist menopause training, I have seen real progress. Menopause care is no longer just about prescribing HRT. Clinicians are developing a much deeper understanding of complex presentations, including endometriosis, the role of the thyroid, functional medicine, nutrition, genomic testing, and truly personalised hormone care. The developments in this space are exciting and show what is possible when menopause is taken seriously as a specialist field.

Where we are still falling short is in consistency across the NHS, and this is not the fault of individual GPs. Much of it stems from the long shadow of the WHI study, which was widely misrepresented and created years of fear around HRT prescribing. Although this has since been debunked and we now understand the benefits of HRT for many women, there was almost a decade when many doctors were actively discouraged from prescribing. That inevitably created a gap in experience, particularly around dose adjustment and treatment changes, and this impact is still felt today.

As a result, women can have very different experiences depending on the GP they see. One may be highly knowledgeable and confident in menopause care, while another may still recommend antidepressants as a first-line treatment. This is not because GPs do not care, but because menopause training has historically been inconsistent. I still hear these stories directly from women every day.

The inclusion of menopause in routine women’s health checks every five years is a positive step, and I hope it will help normalise these conversations and improve early support across the system.

You’ve experienced breast cancer, a total hysterectomy, and menopause without HRT. How has this shaped your views on individualised care and the importance of choice in menopause treatment?

It has made me even more fiercely protective of women’s right to choose. My motto is “all options for all women.” Menopause is not a one-size-fits-all experience, and neither should the care be. Every woman’s symptoms, medical history and life circumstances are different, so treatment must always be individualised.

For women with more complex histories who cannot take HRT, this becomes even more important. They need access to clinicians who understand the full range of appropriate non-HRT pharmaceutical options as well as alternative approaches. Too often, this knowledge is limited, and women are left believing they have no options at all.

A good example is vaginal oestrogen, which is now increasingly being considered as a possible option for some women after breast cancer, following specialist advice. When women are not fully informed, they cannot make empowered choices about their own bodies. That is why informed, individualised care is not a luxury; it is essential.

Many women still feel dismissed or misunderstood when seeking help. What patterns do you see in how women’s symptoms are interpreted, especially in complex cases like yours?

One of the most common patterns is that symptoms are written off as stress, anxiety, burnout, or ageing rather than being recognised as part of hormonal change. I often see women who present with one dominant symptom, such as tinnitus, which is then treated in isolation, and the underlying hormonal link is overlooked.

Another is fragmentation. Sleep is treated in one place, mood in another, pain somewhere else, without anyone looking at the whole picture. Menopause is systemic, but care can often be disjointed.

Meno-Pause focuses not only on women but on the organisations they work within. Why is workplace menopause support so critical, and what do employers often get wrong?

Our working lives make up a significant part of who we are, and during menopause, this is where symptoms can have the greatest impact. Even today, one in four women considers leaving their job because of menopause symptoms, yet many do not speak up due to fear of stigma, demotion, or being seen differently at work. The symptoms that are often hardest to manage in the workplace include hot flushes, brain fog, fatigue, and anxiety, all of which can directly affect confidence and performance.

There has been meaningful progress in recent years, and I am encouraged by the number of organisations now taking this seriously. I work with many employers who are investing in education and menopause champion training, and there is a growing recognition that women need safe ways to talk about their experiences. For many, that means access to third-party or anonymous support, because they still do not feel comfortable raising this with their line manager. This is where a clear menopause policy is so valuable, giving both existing and new employees visible pathways to support.

What is still often misunderstood is that creating a menopause inclusive culture requires ongoing commitment. It is not achieved by introducing a policy and moving on. Culture change needs reinforcement through training, leadership engagement, and everyday conversations. All employees benefit from this, not just women, because menopause affects teams, managers, and families too, including partners.

There’s increasing awareness of menopause, yet many women still suffer in silence. What do you think awareness alone is missing, and what actually creates meaningful change?

Awareness opens the conversation, but it does not change systems. The first wave of progress has been the incredible rise in public awareness over the past few years. The second wave now needs to focus on understanding and delivering the right treatment options. This largely depends on upskilling GPs and specialists and integrating menopause care more effectively across the health system.

You’ve seen menopause through both a clinical lens and a lived experience. How do we better bridge the gap between medical protocols and the emotional, psychological reality women experience?

I believe this comes down to better training across all areas of healthcare. When menopause is discussed clinically, there must be space to recognise the emotional and psychological impact, not just the physical symptoms.

In a GP setting, there may not always be time to explore this fully, but there should be clear pathways for women to be referred or signposted to appropriate support, including counselling, CBT and EMDR. Menopause often surfaces deeper emotional issues, and for some women, it can bring unresolved trauma to the surface.

More education is needed about what can emerge during this life stage, because menopause is not only a hormonal shift but also an emotional one. Clinicians need to be equipped to recognise this, as for many women, their healthcare appointment may be the only opportunity they have to access wider support.

For women who cannot or choose not to use HRT, what supportive frameworks or conversations do you believe are most helpful but currently underrepresented?

Women need structured, evidence-informed pathways that take their symptoms seriously. This includes targeted support for sleep, mood, pain, cognition and sexual health, rather than being given generic lifestyle advice. Women must understand the full range of options available to them, both pharmaceutical and non-pharmaceutical, so they can make informed choices.

Above all, women need hope. They need to know that, whatever their situation or symptoms, there are still many ways to feel better. Sexual health is one of the most neglected areas, even though there are many effective options available. Supporting intimacy and confidence can be life-changing for women and their relationships, yet it is rarely prioritised.

Many so-called alternative options deserve proper investigation and clinical guidance. Certain supplements and therapies can be effective for some women but are not always considered within mainstream medicine. It is encouraging to see acupuncture becoming more widely recognised for menopause support, and these approaches are particularly important for women who cannot take HRT.

Another underrepresented area is what women can do for themselves. Through nutrition, lifestyle, and daily health habits, many women who are not taking HRT can still see significant improvements in how they feel.

Having navigated major health trauma alongside menopause, how do you talk to women about resilience without falling into the ‘just push through’ narrative?

I always start by reframing what resilience really means, as often I hear the words “I don’t feel resilient anymore”. It’s totally misunderstood. It is not about tolerating suffering or forcing yourself to be strong. It is about having the support, knowledge, and permission to care for yourself properly. Something women are often very good at doing for others, but far less practised at doing for themselves.

This is one of the reasons I established Meno-Pause. I believe this stage of life offers an opportunity to ‘pause’ and recognise that life cannot continue exactly as it was. It is a time to reconnect with intuition, reflect on all areas of life, and begin to ask what we truly want for ourselves. When women start to see possibilities again and imagine

a positive future for themselves, resilience begins to grow. Reconnecting a woman with her own inner power is one of the most transformative parts of this work.

I also encourage women to see rest, boundaries, and asking for help as strength, not weakness. After a major health trauma, pushing through is often no longer sustainable. True recovery comes from allowing the body to find its rhythm again, whatever form menopause takes, and learning to listen to what the body is asking for.

If you could change one belief about menopause within healthcare systems, workplaces, or society at large, what would it be and why?

Menopause isn’t severe enough to be completely life-changing and a disability. It is a major biological transition that can be disabling, particularly when combined with surgical menopause, cancer history, or chronic stress. When it is trivialised, women are underdiagnosed, undersupported, and quietly pushed out of their careers and confidence.

If we change that belief, everything else follows. Better training, better care, better workplace support, and women no longer feeling they must suffer in silence.

What becomes clear through Donna’s words is that menopause is not just a health issue, and it’s certainly not a phase women should quietly endure. It is a systemic issue that touches healthcare training, workplace culture, policy, and deeply ingrained beliefs about women’s resilience and worth. Awareness alone is not enough. Without consistent education, informed choice, and integrated support, women will continue to be dismissed, fragmented, or forced to self-fund care just to feel functional again. Donna’s work through Meno-Pause is a reminder that menopause deserves seriousness, structure, and compassion, not minimisation. When women are believed, informed, and supported to listen to their bodies rather than push through them, something shifts. Not just in symptoms, but in confidence, autonomy, and the possibility of a future that feels liveable again.

You’ve long spoken about menopause as a rite of passage rather than a medical problem. What changes when women view this transition as an initiation instead of something to ‘fix’?

Understanding that something new and scary is actually a rite of passage instead of something to fix changes everything. Resisting the narrative of being ‘deficient’ means we have to step out of the mainstream torrent of social media that drives panic and dysfunction. This can be hard to do alone, but the rewards are transformational. It returns your dignity, gives meaning, and purpose to the process. The mental and physical challenges become meaningful in themselves, inviting us to pay attention. Instead of pushing through the pain, it offers an opportunity to be curious about what is happening inside us, demonstrating that yes, we are worthy, we are enough.

It’s helpful to find communities where you can find an agreement to support this initiation, because although on one level it is a uniquely personal process, rites of passage need to be witnessed in community.

You work with the concept of life cycles and seasons. How does understanding cyclical living help women navigate the emotional and physical shifts of perimenopause and menopause more compassionately?

Understanding the seasons brings enormous reassurance to the process of perimenopause. Just knowing to expect to become more sensitive, and more porous, and understand that it’s normal at this time of life, is a game-changer. If we are lucky enough to have encountered cyclical awareness before perimenopause, we can understand more deeply how to care for ourselves in the menopause transition. Learning what supports and what triggers us in our menstrual Autumns (the luteal phase) and Winters (your period) translates directly into how you can care for yourself later in perimenopause. Perhaps the most growthful thing that cyclical awareness gives us is that we get to know more of our shadow each month in the luteal Autumn. So that when we come to the big Autumn of perimenopause, we have more capacity to hold ourselves in highly charged and difficult states of being, whether that is strong emotions like rage or grief, or brain fog and ‘not knowing’. Each cycle can be both a ‘practice run’ and a lesson in trust that Spring always comes.

Many women experience grief in midlife for their younger bodies, past identities, or unlived lives. How do you see menopause opening space for this grief to be acknowledged and integrated?

Grief is a natural part of this transition. It’s part of the editing and sorting process in the Life Autumn of perimenopause that’s also present in the menstrual Autumn. This is the time to assess what we have lost, how we have been betrayed, what we have not achieved, and

what we long for. It’s a time of reckoning, where we rediscover what our truth is as we move closer to our true Self. The Autumn moves us away from societal ideals of how we might succeed and how we might fit in with society, which are so compelling in the Spring and Summer. In the second half of the cycle, we move towards becoming more ourselves: more ‘soul-led’ rather than ‘success-led’.

I would recommend getting curious about these losses: what we imagined we could be and who we might be in the future. For example, we mourn the loss of our younger body, but what is it that we think a younger body would give us? Approval? Love? Acceptance? Better to work on these in ourselves than to look for them outside, as we age in an ageist world.

All that we have lost must be grieved, and this sifting and sorting are essential tasks to facilitate the renewal of a new cycle. After the cave time of menopause, we move into a second cycle: a Second Spring, Second Summer, Second Autumn, and Second Winter. Seasons where living our Calling becomes central to our focus, so the letting go and grieving have to be done: you don’t want to carry too much baggage into your 60s, 70s, and 80s!

You’ve written about reclaiming authority over our own bodies. What does embodied authority mean for women whose symptoms have been understood, minimised, or dismissed?

If you were brought up as a female, there is so much approval for caring for others that our authority gets lost. Most of us catastrophically underestimate how much we are holding: the emotional labour, the mental labour, managing our big and small T trauma, our sensitivities, and neurodivergence. This invisible work is exhausting! Part of reclaiming our authority is to notice that I am exhausted and I need more for myself; it’s time to drop those high expectations and let things get a little messy.

My experience has been that reclaiming authority starts with the intention to develop self-compassion. We start by meeting our own vulnerability with kindness, a little bit at a time, and as best as we can. If we can accept at least some of what is happening to us, it makes it easier to stand up for ourselves when we need to advocate for care and support. Embodied authority means taking your needs seriously and having a non-negotiable framework of care, so that the pillars of well-being: nourishment, sleep, movement, mind, and community are all in place.

It’s important to bring a curious mindset to our self-care, and notice what is working and what’s not, and also not to be too rigid with our care, so we can avoid hypervigilance. Instead, we can flow with what we need, because what you might need one day may be impossible the next, and that’s why self-compassion comes before care.

Midlife often prompts women to reassess their work, relationships, and contributions. From your perspective, what questions is menopause really asking us to answer?

The answer is really simple, but working through this process is not simple: Menopause is asking us to come into a relationship with the Self. It requires us to surrender our ego, and this is painful and horrible. It often requires us to acknowledge that, actually, we don’t really know who we are or what we want. It requires us to be vulnerable. It requires us to go against everything that we have learned will help us survive in our fertile years, and though this may look and feel like a catastrophe, all of this is a journey back to the Self so that we can live our second cycle postmenopause, closer to our calling

How do you help women separate what is truly hormonal from what is cultural, expectations, conditioning, and lifelong self-abandonment that menopause begins to surface?

I think it’s almost impossible to sort out what is hormonal from what is cultural conditioning, self-abandonment, or trauma. The attempt to do this often ends up in overthinking and a hypervigilance that amounts to picking scabs. You are more than your conditioning. More than your trauma! Much, much more! Make the pillars of your well-being unconditional. Then, once that’s in place, bring more pleasure, creativity, and delight into your life. This everyday magic will reduce your stress, support your endocrine system, your mental health, your self-esteem, and even affect your weight. It can really be as simple and as complex as putting yourself first.

If you could offer one reframe to women entering perimenopause, something that might soften fear and invite trust, what would you want them to know about this stage of life?

The reframe I would offer is that perimenopause is inviting you to be kind to yourself, to give yourself the love, affirmation, and validation you have been looking for externally for 40+ years. Now it is time to look within.

Go slow, say no, do you? This will bring you back to yourself.

What Kate reminds us, again and again, is that menopause is not a personal failure or a medical malfunction. It is a profound reorientation towards the Self. A time that asks for honesty, self-compassion, and the courage to let go of identities, expectations, and patterns of self-abandonment that no longer fit. When menopause is witnessed, held in community, and approached with curiosity rather than fear, it becomes less about surviving symptoms and more about reclaiming meaning, authority, and calling.

If this conversation has stirred something in you, Kate offers a generous free resource library including seasonal graphics, Yoga Nidra meditations, and supportive tools to accompany you through this transition: https://subscribepage.io/kates-resource-library.

You can also find and follow Kate’s ongoing reflections and teachings on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kate_codrington/.

This is not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you are and allowing the next season of life to meet you there.

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If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

You often talk about mindset as the missing piece in menopause support. From your work with women, what mindset shift makes the single biggest difference to how women experience this transition?

From my experience, the biggest mindset shifts come from a change in perspective. We view menopause as an awful phase, and that thought alone can determine the direction it may go for you. The trick is to focus on the good that can come out of being in this phase of life. You might be more grounded as a woman. You know what brings you peace. You take more time for yourself. And then there are the positives that come with having no monthly visitor.

Fear-based narratives around menopause and ageing are everywhere. How do these stories shape women’s symptoms, confidence, and self-trust, often without them realising it?

I am not a coach, so I can only speak from my own experience, and I have found that fear comes from letting the noise of the outside world affect what’s going on inside of us. From opinions, taking on the problems of others, internalising your feelings, and even job-related stress. Society puts these pressures on us to look and act a certain way. During our menopause years, we are more vulnerable to letting these things in, so it takes awareness to firstly observe what’s happening and then decide which path best suits your health goals.

Many women arrive at midlife feeling blindsided by menopause. What beliefs or assumptions do you see women needing to unlearn most urgently?

I would never assume that what’s happening isn’t related to menopause. I experienced symptoms like vertigo and electric shock that I had no idea were menopause symptoms. Do your own research because there are still many physicians who aren’t up to speed on the growing number of menopause related symptoms.

How can women begin to move from feeling at the mercy of their hormones to feeling informed, grounded, and empowered in their choices?

Women can begin to move from feeling at the mercy of their hormones to feeling more empowered by taking action. Do your own research, advocate for yourself with your healthcare provider, join menopause specific groups, and buy books that explain what’s happening to your body. Decide which direction is best for you. Is hormone replacement therapy an option, or do you prefer a more natural health plan?

It’s also important to consider your current state of health. Your current health will most likely affect your menopause journey.

When women feel anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected during menopause, how much of that do you see as biology versus conditioning and internalised messaging?

I’m not a doctor, so I can only speak from my own experience, but when women feel disconnected during menopause, I think it’s everything jumbled together. Biology, outside noise, conditioning, and internal messaging. Menopause can be overwhelming. It was for me. I allowed everything to affect me. I internalised too much when I needed to set boundaries. Self-talk is so important during

menopause. Loving yourself is the most important thing of all. When you love yourself first, the rest of the world falls into place, even during menopause. Turn off the outside noise and focus on you.

What practical mindset tools or reframes help women interrupt spirals of fear, catastrophising, or self-blame when symptoms arise?

There are two things that I begin every day with and swear by to reframe life essentially. Centring and writing. There are scientific benefits to meditation, such as lowering stress. Being in a relaxed state for even 10 to 15 minutes calms the nervous system and helps you gain control when you’re feeling like things are spiralling. For the most effective benefit, write directly after for 10 to 15 minutes. Start with what you are grateful for. Gratitude does wonders for reducing stress and evokes feelings of happiness and joy, which raise your energetic vibration. This exercise alone allows you to remember what’s good in your life, letting what’s stressing you seem less important. Less stress = symptom reduction from my experience.

Midlife is often portrayed as a period of loss of youth, energy, and relevance. How do you help women reframe menopause as a transition rather than a decline?

When I turned 50, I began to go through a midlife crisis of sorts. I began to think about my mortality. How much time do I have left? Will I get sick? I allowed it to bring me down even further. I allowed those thoughts and many others to consume me. But then I realised that I did have more control over how long I lived and how I lived. I could take better care of myself. I could choose to be happy instead of miserable. It was all in how I looked at it. In my book, I write about choice. Choosing to think, act, and speak in a way that benefits my life. Wallowing doesn’t benefit me. Choosing health benefits me. Choosing gratitude uplifts me. Choosing to love more brings me joy. These are things that make me feel youthful and give me energy. Relevance is perspective. I choose to believe that I have something to offer the world, and that what I offer has value. That value has impact, and my impact is relevant.

What role does self-compassion play in navigating menopause well, especially for women who are high-achieving, responsible, or used to pushing through?

In my experience, we, as women, just carry on. We don’t acknowledge that we might need help, or we accept that this is just the way it is because that’s what we have been told. We’re too busy to take time for ourselves, to work on ourselves, so we want the quick fix. What drug can I take to make it go away or feel better? That’s all well and good, and your choice. But how long do you take that drug? What side effects come with that drug that may impact your life in other ways?

I’ve discovered that we, as women, need to stop band-aiding life and work on releasing it more. (Just my observation) A big part of what I noticed was that I was carrying around guilt and other things from the past that were affecting me during menopause. Things I thought I had dealt with were present again. So, I had to work on not being so hard on myself. I couldn’t change the past. I could only do my best in the present. I needed to forgive myself and others. That forgiveness was rooted in self-compassion. It was time to let go of what no longer served me and focus on what does. I think that menopause isn’t something we can just handle because nowadays, due to our life expectancy, we can spend 40% of our lives in our menopause phase. That’s a big number. So, what story do you want to write during that 40%?

If a woman feels late to the conversation and wishes she’d known more earlier, what would you want her to hear now instead of regret?

I want women to know that you are never late to the conversation. Anytime is a good time to love yourself more.

There were times I was hard on myself. Times when I thought I was dumb for not using the Google Gods to figure out what was happening to me. But I just wasn’t in that frame of mind. I was preoccupied with my life circumstances, so I did what action I thought was best. I went to see my doctor and got a prescription. Then I went to see a naturopath and took some homeopathic remedies. After that, I hired a personal trainer.

It wasn’t until I realised that I had been living in a negative state for years, allowing everything to bring me down, that I began to shift. I had been through 10 years of perimenopause and had completed full menopause. I was in post menopause when I had these transformative revelations that impacted my life wholly.

There is no regret. Regret invokes fear and negative emotions. Negative emotions don’t serve you during menopause or any other time. The present is what matters.

Looking back across the women you’ve supported, what is the one truth about menopause you wish more women understood sooner, before fear took root?

The one truth about menopause I wish more women understood sooner is that how we think about ourselves affects the journey. Choosing to love yourself more creates a world that is lighter and happier. A happier world includes less stress.

I’ve often wondered what makes one woman’s journey more difficult or easier than another’s. For me, the answer lies in a few things: socio-economic status, lifestyle, and self-love.

In a socio-economic world, a woman will buy what she needs to feel better. Those who live a healthy lifestyle generally manage by making dietary and exercise adjustments.

Self-love, on the other hand, affects everyone. Every single woman can benefit from loving the person she is from the inside out. Knowing and understanding that beauty is only skin deep, and that the self-confidence she has is what the world around her will respond to. The energy she gives off when she is healthy, relaxed, and joyful is returned to her.

What Lisa offers, above all, is permission. Permission to slow down, to turn down the noise, to stop being so hard on ourselves, and to recognise that menopause is not something happening to us, but something unfolding with us. Her words gently dismantle the idea that we are late, broken, or failing, and replace it with a quieter, more powerful truth: how we think about ourselves shapes how we experience this season of life. Menopause, as Lisa reminds us, can span decades. It is not a phase to endure, but a chapter we are actively writing. And the most important choice we make in that writing is how much compassion, forgiveness, and love we allow ourselves along the way.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

You work with thousands of women who are trying to improve their health while juggling real life. From your experience, what does optimal well-being actually look like beyond aesthetics or scale weight?

I think optimal well being if tied to your quality of life. Some women think that having a fit and toned aesthetic body is going to make it better; however, if you’re not taking care of your mental health or how you deal with stress, you can’t balance life correctly. You need to take care of yourself as a whole.

Many women set ambitious health goals and then feel discouraged when life gets in the way. How do you help clients set goals that are challenging but realistic and sustainable?

It just boils down to consistently following a program or a plan. Finding a coach who can just take the guesswork out of it and be honest about where you’re at and where you want to be.

I suggest finding a coach, whether that be in-person or online, who’s most similar to where you’re at in life, who shows personal before-and-afters tackling problems you’re working through. Such as if you’re a busy mom and just need a quick workout you can do in shorter bursts of time, or if you’re post-partum, so you need a plan tailored around taking care of a newborn or targeting specific areas of your body.

They can often provide first-hand experience and provide you with an exercise and diet plan all wrapped into one.

You blend strength training, Pilates, and wellness coaching. How do you decide which modalities best support a woman’s goals at different stages of her life or cycle?

Knowing what your personal goals are and tailoring them to what works for you.
Consistency and actually working out can tie a lot to finding an active activity you enjoy doing. Also depends a lot on what works for you and your schedule.

Consistency is often harder than motivation. What systems or habits do you encourage women to build so that well-being becomes part of daily life rather than another task to “stay on top of”?

Doing something you enjoy doing and not being afraid to put yourself out there and make friends. Build community through your fitness; it makes you excited to work out and see friends.

Women in midlife often come to fitness after years of dieting or over-exercising. How do you help them shift from a punishment mindset to one rooted in care and long-term health?

I encourage everyone to stop using the scale to track progress. I grew up in the 80’s, when the media told you that your self-worth was determined by your jean size.

Retraining yourself is very challenging. I suggest following the right people on social media who talk about health and their bodies in positive ways, instead of making being skinny the end-all, be-all.

You share daily workouts and nutrition guidance online. How can women use online programmes effectively without falling into comparison or perfectionism?

Don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself. You can follow “fitness influencers” for motivation, but they don’t always give you the full picture of their goals, how they train, and everything they do. It can be vastly skewed from their actual fitness plans. I tell my followers my goals and am honest about everything that I’ve done to achieve where I’m at, so they have a frame of reference that it wasn’t a simple set of reps that got my body this way.

If you follow and use someone’s program, make sure they are certified. Similar to my response above, follow someone who has a certified plan and has a real transformation from a similar situation you’re working through. They had the same goal you do and can correctly help you achieve yours.

How do you guide women to measure progress when their goals go beyond weight loss, for example, energy, strength, confidence, or mental clarity?

Do frequent check-ins on how they are feeling in these various areas:

• How do their clothes fit?

• How do you carry yourself?

Plateaus are common and frustrating. What mindset shifts or practical strategies help women move through stalled progress without giving up?

Plateaus are a byproduct of extreme dieting or yo-yo dieting, i.e., being on a diet Monday-Friday and off Saturday and Sunday

• Be consistent in diet and exercise

• Be honest with your training, coach, and yourself

Nutrition advice is everywhere and often conflicting. What foundational principles do you believe matter most for women aiming for strength, energy, and metabolic health?

I think it’s important to always hit your protein goal, no matter what diet you are on. It’s very common for women not to consume enough.

Doing a proper diet while trying to reach your health goals. You cannot be in a constant state of a calorie deficit. You can really mess up your metabolism,

Eating as many calories as you can at the beginning of your health journey, and then doing a proper cut and a proper reverse diet.

If you could give women one piece of advice about goal-setting and well-being, something that cuts through the noise, what would it be?

Get your hormones checked and get your hormones balanced. If your hormones aren’t balanced, your body won’t change, and you won’t see results even if you’re “doing all the right things” and training properly, hitting your macros, etc.

What comes through clearly in this conversation is Sarah’s insistence on honesty with your body, your goals, and yourself. Well-being, she reminds us, isn’t about punishment or perfection; it’s about consistency, care, and understanding what your body truly needs at this stage of life. From letting go of diet culture narratives to prioritising protein, community, and hormone health, her message cuts through the noise: you don’t need to do everything; you need to do the right things, consistently. Perhaps the most empowering takeaway is this: progress isn’t just something you see; it’s something you feel, in your energy, your confidence, and how you move through your life.

GO DEEPER:

• The Ultimate Midlife Guide to BMI & BMR: Understanding Your Body’s Needs for Optimal Health

• The Ultimate Guide to Improving Body Composition in Midlife

• Nourishing the Midlife Body: Simple, Grounded Health Rituals

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

Creatine has long been associated with young men and gym culture. Why do you think midlife women were left out of the conversation for so long, and what’s shifting now?

I honestly think a lot of the reason why midlife women were left out of the conversation was that most studies and marketing were geared towards young men and those within the gym culture. However, as more research has come out showing not only physical benefits but also mental things are starting to shift. Creatine is not only found in muscles but also in the brain, making it a nutrient everyone should be getting adequate amounts of! Every year, more evidence emerges showing the many health benefits of creatine, including those of cognitive health, which I think has really helped increase the popularity of creatine because we all can benefit from it.

As women move through perimenopause and menopause, muscle loss accelerates. From a clinical perspective, how does creatine support muscle health, strength, and physical resilience during this stage?

Creatine can be especially important for women in their midlife, as this time is when we naturally see a drop in estrogen levels, which can increase the loss of lean mass, so ensuring adequate protein intake, paired with strength training at least two days per week, can help decrease muscle loss! During menopause, it’s common to lose both muscle mass and bone mass due to estrogen levels dropping. Having less muscle and bone mass decreases your metabolism, making weight gain easier. Adding strength training to your routine is an effective way to counteract age- and menopause-related muscle and bone loss and help build strength to help prevent falls and injuries as we age. Ensuring adequate protein intake and pairing this with a strength training regimen can help maintain a healthy metabolic rate and promote overall health as you age. For women in their midlife, I recommend supplementing with creatine at 3–5 grams per day.

Many women notice drops in energy, stamina, and recovery in midlife. What does the evidence say about creatine’s role in cellular energy and day-to-day vitality for women?

Creatine supplementation supports ATP recycling, and ATP is your body’s energy source. So creatine can help you perform your best during demanding activities, and that includes mentally at work. Creatine can help you feel more like your younger self by improving your stamina.

Beyond muscles, research is increasingly pointing to creatine’s impact on the brain. How might creatine support cognitive function, brain fog, or mental fatigue in menopause?

Creatine has been shown to promote brain and nerve health, including improved cognitive function, which, as we age, can be very helpful. Creatine has also been shown to work as a stress buffer, stabilising energy levels, preventing brain fog and mental fatigue.

Some women are understandably cautious about supplements. How do you help patients distinguish between evidence-based supplements like creatine and those driven more by marketing than science?

I often share with clients that creatine is one of the most widely researched supplements on the market, and it’s been found to be safe to use short-term and long-term at any age. I also recommend that clients look for third-party tested products to ensure safety and purity, since the FDA does not regulate supplements. Some supplement companies use a lot of fillers and don’t get their supplements third-party tested, so you could be spending money on a product that doesn’t actually contain what it says it does. When buying supplements, always look for ones that are third-party tested for purity and safety, such as USP Verified or NSF Certified for Sport. I consume Thorne NSF Certified for Sport creatine myself.

Are there specific life stages or symptom profiles where you’ve seen creatine be particularly helpful for women, for example, during perimenopause, postmenopause, or alongside HRT?

When your hormones are working against you during perimenopause and menopause, having a supplement to help fight alongside you to retain muscle, strength, and cognition can be particularly helpful.

Dosage and safety are common concerns. What do women in midlife need to know about using creatine safely, especially those with medical conditions or who are on hormone therapy?

It’s recommended that individuals consume 5 grams of creatine per day to see positive effects. As a dietitian, I am all about getting most nutrients from food alone and supplementing when needed, but optimal creatine levels are hard to achieve with diet alone. To consume 5 grams of creatine, you’d have to consume approximately 2.2 pounds of beef steak or salmon every day, which is just unrealistic. Animal products (beef, chicken, fish, pork) are the main dietary sources of creatine, but the amount of creatine found in them is small once cooked, making it hard to consume adequate amounts with just diet alone.

Talk to your doctor before taking creatine if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, have heart conditions, kidney or liver disease, to ensure it’s safe for you to take.

Many midlife women are not lifting heavy weights or doing intense workouts. Is creatine still beneficial without high-intensity training, and if so, how?

Creatine isn’t just for athletes; with its cognitive benefits, almost everyone could benefit from it, and it helps boost overall protein intake. I would still recommend that you obtain at least two days of strength training in your weekly routine in order to promote overall health and healthy ageing.

You practise in a rural setting where access to specialist care can be limited. How do practical, affordable tools like creatine help level the playing field for women’s health and longevity?

I live in Wyoming, so I know rural areas and understand that access to specialists can be limited. Creatine is an affordable, yet widely accessible choice when it comes to promoting your health and longevity. Here are some of my favourite ways to add it into my routine:

• Mix creatine into fruit smoothies with Greek yoghurt, berries, a banana, and spinach. Smoothies are so versatile when it comes to add-ins, making them a perfect option for mixing in creatine.

• Mix creatine into fruit parfaits with Greek yoghurt, granola, and fresh berries. This nutrient-dense, crunchy treat provides a great grab-and-go option that you can easily mix in some creatine.

• Blend into your post-workout recovery drinks, such as chocolate milk or your recovery shake. The creamy texture of the chocolate milk blends well with creatine!

• Mix into beef tacos at the end of the cooking process. The creatine will stick to the meat, making for a meal packed with creatine!

• Sprinkle over your scrambled eggs at the end of the cooking process. Scrambled eggs are very versatile; you can add creatine, chopped spinach, sliced grape tomatoes, and more for a delicious and nutrient-packed breakfast!

• Mix creatine into your overnight oats for a convenient and easy grab-and-go breakfast or snack!

• Mix it into fruit juice, especially great post-workout to help you replenish glycogen stores and boost creatine intake.

If you could reframe creatine for midlife women in one sentence, moving it from “not for us” to something empowering and supportive, what would you want women to understand?

As a dietitian, there are only a few supplements I truly recommend, and creatine is one of them to help empower and support midlife women.

What stands out most from Shelley’s perspective is reassurance. Creatine isn’t about chasing youth or pushing harder; it’s about supporting the body you’re in now. As estrogen declines and the demands of life remain high, midlife women deserve tools that work with them, not against them. Creatine, when used thoughtfully and safely, becomes less about performance and more about preservation: of strength, clarity, stamina, and confidence. Perhaps the most important reframe is this: supporting your muscles and brain in midlife isn’t indulgent or excessive; it’s foundational. And as Shelley reminds us, sometimes the most empowering choices are also the simplest ones.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

In this conversation, Michael Baah cuts through the fear and misinformation that surrounds midlife fitness. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a strength coach and oncology exercise specialist, he reframes menopause not as a breakdown, but as a biological transition that demands smarter, more intentional training. This is not about pushing harder or retreating into fragility; it’s about understanding hormonal shifts, respecting recovery, and using strength training as a tool for autonomy, confidence, and long-term health. What follows is a grounded, science-led redefinition of what it really means to train with your body in midlife.

Menopause is often framed as a period of physical decline. Why is this narrative inaccurate and potentially harmful?

Menopause isn’t a breakdown; it’s a biological transition. The harm comes from the story women are told about it. When midlife is framed as an inevitable decline, women start moving with caution, training less, and trusting their bodies less, often long before their bodies actually require it. Everyone begins losing muscle and bone density in their late 20s. The difference for many women is that they were never encouraged to prioritise strength early on. Cardio was praised, light weights were allowed, and real strength was often sidelined. By the time menopause arrives, it can feel like something has suddenly gone wrong, when in reality the body is responding to years of underloading. That narrative creates fragility where there doesn’t need to be any.

What actually happens inside the body during menopause, and how should strength training adapt?

As oestrogen declines, muscle protein synthesis becomes less efficient, bone turnover increases, connective tissue behaves differently, and recovery can take longer. None of this means women should stop lifting. It means strength training becomes more important, not less. Training needs to prioritise mechanical tension, progressive resistance, and enough recovery to absorb the work. The goal shifts away from chasing exhaustion and towards driving adaptation. Menopause doesn’t require gentler training; it requires more intentional training.

Many women feel weaker or more injury-prone and assume they should take it easier. How do you address this safely?

I don’t start by telling women they’re vulnerable. I start by showing them what their bodies can tolerate and adapt to. Confidence doesn’t come from reassurance; it comes from experience. We focus on good technique, conservative starting loads, and gradual progression. Strength is built through exposure, not avoidance. Once women feel their bodies responding, fear tends to fall away naturally.

From your oncology exercise work, what principles apply to menopausal women?

Clinical exercise teaches you to respect stress without fearing it. Progress works best when it’s predictable. Load increases are planned, volume is managed, and recovery is built in. Whether someone is navigating cancer treatment or menopause, the body adapts best when training is structured, consistent, and individualised. Chaos doesn’t build resilience. Consistency does.

High-intensity training is often promoted as the gold standard. When does it help, and when does it work against women in menopause?

Intensity is a tool, not a badge of honour. Heavy lifting, done well and not constantly, can be extremely beneficial for bone density, strength and confidence. Where it backfires is when high intensity is layered on poor sleep, under-fuelling, and chronic life stress. Menopause doesn’t mean no intensity. It means strategic intensity. Fewer hard sessions, higher quality work, and recovery that’s actually respected.

What role does strength training play in protecting metabolism, confidence, and independence?

Muscle is protective. It supports metabolism, insulin sensitivity, balance, and physical independence. The data consistently show that women with more muscle mass live longer and live better. This isn’t about aesthetics or bodybuilding. It’s about being able to carry shopping, get up off the floor, travel confidently, and live without physical hesitation. Strength is insurance for later life.

What lessons from clinical exercise help menopausal women rebuild trust in their bodies?

Many women arrive in midlife disconnected from their bodies after years of dieting, pushing, or ignoring pain. Clinical exercise teaches you to distinguish discomfort from danger and rebuild trust through evidence. Strength training becomes a conversation with the body rather than a punishment for it. When women feel their bodies adapting again, confidence returns naturally.

Recovery becomes non-negotiable in midlife. How should women rethink rest and deloads?

Recovery isn’t passive, and it isn’t weakness. It’s programmed. Deload weeks are planned, not reactive. Walking, lower-intensity sessions, sleep, and nervous system regulation all play a role. Adaptation doesn’t happen when stress is constant. It happens when stress and recovery are balanced.

Many women feel disconnected from their bodies during menopause. How can strength training help?

Strength training is tangible. You feel stronger. You move better. You trust yourself again. That’s very different from chasing weight loss or aesthetics. When training becomes about capability and self-respect, it stops feeling like another obligation and starts feeling grounding and empowering.

How would you redefine what “strong” means for menopausal women?

Strong means resilient, capable, and confident in your body. It means autonomy. It means not fearing movement, ageing, or daily physical tasks. At this stage of life, strength isn’t about numbers in the gym. It’s about freedom. And that redefinition matters now more than ever.

What emerges clearly from Michael’s perspective is this: menopause doesn’t call for less movement, less ambition, or less strength; it calls for better listening, better structure, and better respect for the body’s changing rhythms. When strength training is aligned with hormonal reality, recovery is prioritised, and fear is replaced with informed exposure, women don’t become fragile; they become capable again. This is where cycle awareness and workout optimisation meet something deeper: trust. Trust in the body’s ability to adapt. Trust in strength as a lifelong companion. And trust that midlife is not the end of physical power, but a chance to reclaim it on new terms. Strength, here, is no longer about performance or aesthetics. It’s about freedom, to move, to live, and to age without shrinking.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

For this conversation, I sat down with Carly Harvey, a personal trainer and Clubbercise instructor who works with women across perimenopause and menopause, helping them rebuild strength, confidence, and trust in their bodies without falling into restriction or pressure.

Carly’s approach is refreshingly real. She believes in balance over perfection, working with hormonal rhythms rather than fighting them, and creating fitness routines that fit into real lives, not idealised ones. In this interview, we talk about cycle syncing without complexity, adapting workouts during perimenopause and menopause, and why fun, flexibility, and compassion are essential for long-term consistency.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated by exercise, disconnected from your body, or unsure how to move in a way that truly supports you in midlife, this conversation will meet you exactly where you are.

You’re a big advocate for balance over restriction. How did learning to work with your cycle, rather than against it, change your own relationship with fitness and your body?

I personally spent years beating myself up for not being able to do “what I should be doing,” which caused me to write off entire weeks rather than working with my body. When I realised that I needed to adapt, I became more empowered and proud of all the things I could do, and this made me more motivated to do some form of activity, giving me back the power.

Cycle syncing is often presented as complicated or only for women with perfect routines. How do you make it realistic for busy women juggling work, kids, and life?

Cycle syncing really sounds complicated, to be honest – it’s just understanding that our bodies are different at different phases of our cycle. I coach busy women who lack time, and my main focus is to simplify and teach women to work with their bodies & recognise all the efforts they make, no matter how big or small. Flipping the switch in their mindset changes everything; it creates positive thoughts, and motivation grows through this shift. Helping women to understand their bodies prevents the traditional consistency block that too many encounter.

Many women feel confused when their energy, strength, or motivation fluctuates across the month. How can understanding the menstrual cycle help women stop blaming themselves and train more effectively?

Teaching women to understand their menstrual cycle and the impact it can have on energy & strength actually builds motivation to keep going and just make adaptations – there’s so much to be said for making women feel “normal” rather than feeling confused and beating themselves up. This knowledge prevents women from giving up.

As women enter perimenopause and menopause, the cycle becomes less predictable. How do you adapt workout strategies when hormones are shifting, and consistency feels harder?

During the peri- and menopause stages of life, everything seems to be less predictable, and it isn’t always easy to know the phase that a woman is in. In these times, I coach women to listen to their body to understand that we cannot fight it and teaching them to allow lighter exercise sessions when needed is actually more beneficial and not to be seen as a weakness.

You work in high-end wellness spaces like Champneys but also speak very honestly about real bodies and real lives. How do you help women optimise workouts without falling back into pressure, perfectionism, or diet culture?

Working in high-end spaces like Champneys has no impact on my coaching or my message, and I believe that women want “real and honest”, no matter where they train. They’re tired of perfectionism. They’re busy and just want to feel their best without overwhelm or stress, and I believe social media & too many different regimes have caused women to become confused. When shown simple methods with easy-to-understand instructions that reduce food guilt and exercise overwhelm that fit their lifestyle, women are happy to make the changes they need. I help them by assessing their lifestyle – the time they have available, stress factors & medical factors & hormonal changes. Using this information helps me to prescribe the right regimen, and I will always start with smaller steps rather than big leaps. This gives them more opportunity to create “wins” and be proud rather than pulling themselves down for not doing something. In my experience, motivation is built on these wins, and this brings consistency, which brings results.

What are the biggest mistakes you see women making when they train through menopause, especially when following plans designed for younger bodies?

The biggest mistakes I see are women comparing themselves to who they once were, their younger self that didn’t have the stress, the lack of time, or the hormonal changes they now have. It causes women to give up on themselves, which is sad to see, as with the right support, working with their body and accepting things to be different means that women can still feel their best despite being over 40!

Strength training, cardio, fun movement, rest… how do you help women decide what to prioritise at different phases of their cycle or hormonal transition?

I give women the freedom to take control back in all areas of life, not just fitness and diet. I will coach them to move through the scale; for example, movement is the baseline. If they are tired, have no energy or strength for even a shortened workout, then simple movement is the go-to. But giving women the freedom to understand why they feel their best despite the way they do and how to keep moving within these moments helps them not feel like a failure. I give my clients options for self-care alongside a candlelit bath. A book… anything that is just for them. The action of investing in yourself is priceless, and I see clients blossom with this.

You teach Clubbercise, which brings joy and freedom into movement. Why do you think fun is such an underrated but powerful tool for consistency and hormonal health?

Fun movement is so powerful. We don’t always want to exercise, but the feel-good vibes that Clubbercise brings help women not only to exercise (I’m yet to find a woman who doesn’t love dancing) but to feel free from life for a moment. People ask me all the time, “What’s the best exercise?” and my answer is always the same: “the one that you love”, and with most people loving music and dance, Clubbercise is a sure way to bring consistency with exercise. It’s a powerful tool for fitness, particularly post-40, when many women are carrying more stress, feeling a little lost & at times depressed, all whilst trying to keep a “lid” on everything. This is an escape, to feel free, to take them back to those fun years they once had… when life was solely about them. We know exercise is beneficial for hormone health, and this class is more accessible to women due to its fun nature & less strict “exercise” regime – it’s ultimately just a dance fitness party!

For women who feel disconnected from their bodies after divorce, burnout, or major life change, how can movement become a way back to confidence rather than another demand?

Movement can become a way back to confidence for women, particularly those who have encountered struggles such as divorce, major life changes, and burnout, because it is solely for them. Although it can be a little overwhelming doing something new, women who start small and stick to their regimes grow in confidence, which impacts their entire life happiness. I coach women to focus on how they feel after each exercise session, to give themselves praise for what they’ve done… in time, this removes the thought that it is just another “demand” on them, and that’s when the magic happens, and healthy, happy women are reborn.

If you could leave midlife women with one truth about cycle-aware training, menopause, and feeling strong again, what would you want them to know?

I want midlife women to know that they’re more than capable, that small steps repeated bring the biggest life-changing results. I want them to free themselves of guilt and bad feelings, to practice acknowledgement of their daily wins, as this holds the key to everything. Their bodies aren’t broken; they are just different, and land needs different methods.

What stood out most in this conversation with Carly was her unwavering belief that women are not failing; they’re simply being asked to train differently. Midlife fitness doesn’t require harsher discipline or younger-body plans. It asks for awareness, adaptability, and a willingness to listen. When women stop comparing themselves to who they once were and start responding to who they are now, something powerful happens: confidence returns, motivation stabilises, and movement becomes supportive rather than stressful. Carly’s work is a reminder that consistency isn’t built through pressure, but through permission. Permission to adapt. Permission to rest. Permission to choose joy as part of strength. If this interview resonated with you, consider it an invitation to soften your expectations, honour your body’s signals, and redefine what feeling strong really means in this chapter of life.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

Your family’s skincare legacy spans over 250 years, beginning with apothecary remedies crafted for Catherine the Great’s court. How has this lineage shaped the way you practise dermatology today?

It helps me to remember and understand where I come from. It sets a certain standard of quality, and by remembering my roots and who my ancestors were, I simply cannot allow myself to lower that level of quality.

My great-great-grandmother, who worked with Catherine II, was named Libi; that’s why I named the company Libi & Daughters. She wrote a special list of commandments that have been passed down from generation to generation in our family.

These commandments are very interesting and remain incredibly relevant in modern practice. For example, one of them says never to harm the patient; our goal is always the patient’s health and not their money. Another says that if a patient doesn’t follow your professional advice, you shouldn’t continue working with them or waste your life and energy.

So, principles like these continue to guide me in my work today.

Many women in midlife experience sudden changes in their skin texture, elasticity, and sensitivity. From your clinical perspective, what is actually happening to skin during this stage, and why does it feel like everything shifts at once?

Throughout a woman’s life, we go through several stages. The first major phase is puberty, when we stop being children and our body’s purpose shifts from growth to reproduction. During this time, it’s completely normal for girls to experience acne and hormonal changes.

Later, in midlife, we face another significant transformation as our hormones begin to change again. These hormonal shifts directly affect the skin, and this period becomes, in a way, our last real chance to keep our body and skin youthful for as long as possible. The time, effort, and care we invest during this stage through exercise, healthy nutrition, high-quality skincare, and reducing inflammation truly determine how we will look and feel in the future.

What actually happens inside the body is that over time, we accumulate various bacteria, viruses, fungi, and parasites, all of which cause inflammation. If you can imagine it like this, our body is a planet, and these microorganisms are like different countries. When more and more countries are at war, the entire planet suffers. The same happens within us: the more inflammation there is, the more our organs and tissues are compromised, and the faster ageing progresses.

These internal inflammations, combined with hormonal changes, put a lot of stress on the body and weaken the immune system. As a result, the skin loses its ability to repair and protect itself as effectively, which is why everything seems to change all at once.

Libi & Daughters blends time-honoured formulas with modern dermatological science. Could you share an example of an ancestral remedy you’ve reimagined using today’s technology?

One of the clearest examples is our N°62 Calming Ointment, which was inspired directly by an ancestral soothing balm passed down through my family. Historically, my grandmother created a simple but powerful preparation made from calendula, chamomile, and beeswax ingredients used in apothecaries of the 18th century to calm irritation, heal the skin, and protect against harsh climates.

For N°62, we honoured this traditional recipe but rebuilt it using modern dermatological understanding and stabilisation techniques.

Today’s formula blends Calendula and chamomile extracts, echoing our original remedy, but now purified and standardised for consistent anti-inflammatory action. Chickweed extract, a historic herb used to reduce itching and redness, was carried into a richer, more bioavailable format. Cetyl esters and glycerin to enhance hydration and improve barrier restoration. Olive and sunflower oils, cocoa butter, lanolin, and white beeswax are natural emollients chosen both for their ancestral relevance and their scientifically proven ability to soften, shield, and repair the skin. Rosemary extract and vitamin E are modern antioxidant additions that protect against oxidative stress and support long-term skin resilience.

What was once a simple, handmade salve is now a clinically informed, dermatologically optimised barrier ointment that soothes inflammation, restores comfort, and protects sensitive or reactive skin.

It represents exactly what Libi & Daughters stands for – heritage remedies elevated by modern science, timeless wisdom, reimagined for today’s skin.

With so many skincare brands promising “quick fixes,” how do you help women understand the difference between marketing claims and truly science-backed, dermatologist-formulated solutions?

The biggest difference is biological coherence. A truly effective product works with the skin’s physiology, not against it, not overnight, and not through aggressive disruption.

I always encourage women to look for:

• Clinical percentages of active ingredients

• Published studies or data on the key components

• Formulations created or supervised by dermatologists

• Products designed to support the skin barrier, not compromise it

Quick fixes often create short-term brightness but long-term inflammation. Science-backed skincare focuses on collagen health, cellular energy, barrier repair, and cumulative results.

Hormonal changes in perimenopause and menopause often create new concerns, such as dryness, inflammation, breakouts, and redness. What foundational steps do you recommend women take to recalibrate their skin during this hormonal transition?

During perimenopause and menopause, dryness, inflammation, breakouts, and redness are not problems of the skin itself; the skin is a symptom, not the cause. The true origin of these changes lies in hormonal shifts taking place within the body.

This is why treatment during this stage must work from the inside out. A woman needs significantly more internal support during this period. Regular movement and physical activity are essential, as they help regulate hormones and reduce systemic inflammation. Sleep also becomes critical, ideally before 10 p.m. to allow the body to release the correct hormones and fully recover overnight.

Nutrition plays a central role as well. Beginning the day with natural daylight exposure and adopting a more alkaline, anti-inflammatory diet can significantly reduce inflammatory processes in the body. Most ageing mechanisms are closely linked to chronic inflammation, hormonal imbalance, insufficient support, and nutritional deficiencies. These factors form the foundation that must be addressed first when treating skin changes at this stage of life.

This phase is extremely delicate and as fragile as puberty. Just as a 12- or 13-year-old girl requires special care when her body begins to change, a woman in midlife must be especially attentive to her symptoms, her body, and her overall lifestyle. The way she supports herself during this period will directly influence how she feels and looks for decades to come, particularly once menopause is established.

When it comes to skincare, a general approach is simply not sufficient. Skincare during this time must be bespoke, dynamic, and individually formulated. Each woman presents a unique combination of symptoms, sensitivities, and needs. Saying “cleanse, tone, and moisturise” may sound correct, but it offers no real solution. True results come only from personalised formulations designed specifically for the individual woman and her skin at that moment in time.

You take a personalised, holistic approach to skincare. When a midlife woman comes to you feeling discouraged by her reflection, where do you begin, emotionally and scientifically?

I begin by listening. Emotional well-being is deeply intertwined with how we perceive our skin.

Scientifically, I conduct a detailed assessment of barrier function, inflammation levels, hormonal history, and lifestyle factors. Emotionally, I remind her that ageing is not a loss; it is an evolution.

I built her a plan that is realistic, gentle, and transformative. When women see that their skin can become radiant, firm, and stable again, their confidence returns quickly. It is one of the most beautiful parts of my work.

The Libi & Daughters philosophy has deep roots in resilience, healing, and the wisdom passed down through generations of women. How do you see skincare as a form of emotional inheritance as much as a physical one?

In my family, skincare rituals were moments of connection between mothers teaching daughters, grandmothers passing on recipes, wisdom, and a sense of dignity.

I believe that caring for the skin is an act of self-respect that can be taught, inherited, and cherished. It’s not only about the formulas; it’s about the message we pass on:

Your well-being matters. You are worthy of care. Ageing is not something to hide; it is something to honour.

Many women feel overwhelmed by multi-step routines. What does an effective, sustainable routine look like for someone in her 40s, 50s, or 60s, especially with sensitive or changing skin?

The effectiveness of a skincare routine is not determined by the number of steps, but by the quality, relevance, and regularity of what you apply to the skin.

Every woman comes to me with a unique skin condition, a distinct history, and individual needs. For some, an effective ritual may consist of just two carefully chosen steps; for others, five steps are necessary. What matters is not how many products you use, but whether those formulas are precisely selected for your skin at that moment.

Skincare works in the same way as brushing your teeth. It is not an occasional effort; it is the daily, consistent care that creates long-term results. The skin responds to what is done every day, not to intensity or complexity.

Equally important is understanding that the skin should not be exposed to ingredients, even beneficial ones such as vitamins or peptides, if they are not needed or are contraindicated for a particular person. When the skin receives unnecessary substances, it must spend energy eliminating them. This creates an additional, avoidable burden.

Instead of preserving its resources for renewal and resilience, the skin is forced into defence. Over time, unsuitable formulas can weaken the skin barrier, reduce immunity, and compromise overall skin health.

A truly sustainable routine is individual, consistent, and respectful of the skin’s biology, supporting its strength

You’ve spoken about tailoring skincare to each individual. What are the most common mistakes you see women make, and how can they simplify without compromising results?

The most common mistake I see is that women self-prescribe skincare instead of following professional expertise. Many choose products based on advertising, trends, or influencer recommendations rather than medical evaluation or an understanding of their own skin biology.

This often leads to using products that are not appropriate for their skin condition. Introducing active ingredients without proper indication.Treating the skin aggressively instead of supporting its natural repair mechanisms. Constantly changing routines based on external advice, not allowing the skin time to respond. Treating symptoms instead of addressing underlying causes

At Libi & Daughters, we believe skincare should be guided by knowledge, not noise. The skin is a complex organ, and even beneficial ingredients can become counterproductive if they are unnecessary or unsuitable for a particular individual.

Simplification begins when women stop chasing trends and start trusting expertise. When a routine is built on proper diagnosis, barrier support, and consistent care, fewer products are needed, and results become more stable, visible, and long-lasting.

True efficacy comes from precision and continuity, not from excess.

If you could offer one message to midlife women about ageing and skin confidence, rooted in both science and your family’s centuries-old wisdom, what would it be?

Ageing is not something the skin does to us; it is something life writes through us. From a scientific perspective, the skin remains responsive, intelligent, and capable of renewal at every stage when it is supported correctly. From my family’s wisdom, I have learned that beauty was never about resisting time, but about moving through it with dignity.

When you care for your skin with patience, consistency, and respect, it responds with strength, calm, and luminosity. Confidence does not come from trying to look younger; it comes from feeling at home in your own skin.

My message to midlife women is this: Your skin is not failing you. It is evolving with you. Honour it, support it, and allow it the time it needs, and it will reflect the depth, resilience, and beauty of the life you have lived.

What emerges so clearly from this conversation is that Dr Inna’s work is about far more than products or routines; it is about restoring trust. Trust in the skin as an intelligent, responsive organ. Trust in the body’s ability to renew when supported correctly. And trust in ourselves as women moving through time, not against it. Her message is both scientific and soulful: ageing is not failure, it is evolution. When we care for our skin with consistency, precision, and respect, it responds with calm, resilience, and quiet radiance. Perhaps the greatest gift of Dr Inna’s centuries-old wisdom is this reminder: confidence doesn’t come from trying to look younger, but from feeling at home in the skin you are in, exactly as you are becoming.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.

You’ve spent years challenging outdated narratives around menopause care. Looking back, what was the pivotal moment when you realised the system wasn’t serving women, and that you had to do something about it?

It was when I realised that I could not obtain the dose and type of hormones – progesterone, oestradiol, testosterone and vaginal prasterone – from my NHS GP. As a Caucasian, middle-class, educated, English-speaking woman, if I’m struggling to receive evidence-based treatment to improve both my symptoms and my future health highlights how difficult it is for so many women. Also, the sheer volume of messages and conversations I have fowithomen who are already struggling is insurmountable, and I realise that I have to do something to make a difference to as many people as possible.

Many women still struggle to have their symptoms recognised or taken seriously. What are the most important things a woman should say, or bring, to a GP appointment to ensure she receives evidence-based menopause care?

Knowledge is the most important thing that we can have. Downloading my Balance app and completing the symptom questionnaire, which can be printed off or emailed, is a really important start for any consultation with a healthcare practitioner. Reading information that is relevant to you, which is based on evidence, will empower you with the right knowledge to have the best conversation with your doctor. If you want to take hormones, you should be able to obtain them easily. If your doctor is refusing to prescribe for you, then you should try to see another doctor who understands hormones.

Hormones play a significant role in brain function, yet symptoms like brain fog, anxiety, and low mood are often dismissed. Can you explain what is actually happening in the brain during perimenopause and menopause?

So our hormones progesterone, oestradiol, and testosterone are made in our brains as well as our ovaries. They have very important functions throughout our brain and help all areas of our brain to function properly. When levels of these hormones fluctuate or decline, then symptoms affecting our brain are very common.

You advocate strongly for personalised HRT. For a woman just starting her journey and unsure where to begin, what does an effective, well-considered HRT plan look like?

It is important to consider each woman separately, and many women benefit from all three, whereas some may benefit from only one initially. The dose is also very important, and when we prescribe oestradiol and testosterone through the skin, we have to factor in the penetration of the hormones through the skin, as the skin acts as a barrier. This means that some women need more than others for adequate penetration through the skin. We usually start with a low dose and optimise the dose according to symptom response and also to blood tests.

There is still confusion about the safety of HRT. What are the most common myths you wish more women and healthcare professionals would understand and stop repeating?

Risks of HRT are related to older types of synthetic hormones, which are a completely different chemical structure from our own hormones. Body-identical hormones are the same molecular structure as our own hormones, and women and healthcare professionals must understand this difference.

Not all symptoms are physical. Many women describe emotional burnout, loss of identity, or feeling invisible in midlife. How can clinicians better support the psychological side of menopause?

If these symptoms are related to our hormones, then the best treatment is to replace the missing hormones. Many women only improve properly when the right dose and type of hormones are prescribed, often a combination of progesterone, oestradiol and testosterone. It is also really important to look at lifestyle factors, including regular exercise, good nutrition, mindfulness and addressing any habits such as smoking and drinking alcohol.

You’ve said before that menopause care is not a luxury; it’s a public health issue. What changes do you believe need to happen within the NHS for women to finally receive the support they deserve?

I feel very strongly that every woman who wants to take hormones, including testosterone, should be able to easily do this in their first consultation with a healthcare professional. Training about hormones for healthcare professionals needs to improve so that women are not suffering in this way. Many doctors are concerned about the number of consultations they are having with women who need hormones, but in the longer term, these women are going to be a lot healthier with fewer symptoms and diseases when they are prescribed hormones.

The Balance app and Newson Health have become lifelines for thousands of women. How do you see digital tools shaping the future of menopause diagnosis, treatment, and patient empowerment?

I have worked as a medical writer for over 25 years, and sharing my knowledge in ways that people understand is a very important part of my job. Using technology with my Balance app enables millions of women globally to access information that is evidence-based and also based on my huge wealth of clinical knowledge and experience. This is helping empower women so they can make the right choices for themselves about their hormones and future health.

Lifestyle interventions (nutrition, exercise, sleep, stress reduction) often feel overwhelming for women who are already exhausted. What small, realistic changes do you recommend that make the biggest difference?

Making achievable changes that you can adhere to is really important. Sometimes it is changing one small thing at a time rather than trying to do everything together. However, until hormones are balanced properly, it is often really hard to address lifestyle interventions; two things need to be done in the right order.

If you could give midlife women one piece of advice, one truth you wish every woman knew about her body, her hormones, and her power, what would it be?

Understand how hormones affect your whole body and brain. If you feel some of your symptoms are related to your hormones, then you’re probably right. Listen to your body and make sure you see a healthcare professional who totally understands you and your hormones. Do not suffer in silence.

Dr Newson’s message is both powerful and reassuring: if you feel something is wrong, you’re probably right. Menopause is not a personal failing, nor is it something women should quietly endure. With the right knowledge, the right hormones, and the right support, this chapter can be navigated with clarity, confidence, and improved long-term health. Perhaps the most important takeaway from this conversation is permission, permission to ask questions, to seek better care, and to stop suffering in silence. As Dr Newson reminds us, understanding your hormones is not about control or perfection; it’s about listening to your body and honouring the wisdom it’s been trying to share with you all along.

If this piece stayed with you, don’t rush past it. Let it settle.

You can take this further inside The Midlife Circle⁠, where I share more personal reflections, deeper conversations, and gentle guidance to help you live this chapter with more clarity, intention, and ease.

If you’re feeling the pull to go deeper in a more personal way, you can also explore working with me⁠. And if this resonated, tap the ♡, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need this today.