Hady Méndez is the kind of woman who makes you sit up straighter. She’s a single, child-free digital nomad currently based in Madrid, originally from NYC, the youngest of four sisters, and proudly Nuyorican. After 25+ years in corporate, she’s now the founder and CEO of Boldly Speaking, and the award-winning author of Calladita No More. In this season of midlife, Hady isn’t interested in proving herself for the sake of it. She’s in what she calls an expansive chapter: purpose, alignment, uplifting her community, and building relationships that actually enrich her life. In this conversation, she shares what it felt like when menopause hit hard, the shock of becoming invisible in public, and the powerful pivot that followed: choosing joy, self-trust, and a life that still feels adventurous.
Who are you, and what season of midlife are you in right now?
I’m Hady Méndez, a single, child-free, digital nomad currently working in Madrid. I’m originally from NYC, where I was born and raised. I am the youngest of 4 sisters born to Puerto Rican parents. That makes me a Nuyorican, something I’m really proud of. I worked in corporate for over 25 years in multiple customer-facing roles. Presently, I am the founder and CEO of Boldly Speaking and the award-winning author of Calladita No More.
I’m in the season of life where giving back and uplifting my community is really important. I would describe this season as expansive. It’s not just about me or proving myself. It’s about finding purpose and alignment in my work and building relationships that genuinely enrich my life. This season has been marked by clarity, reflection, choices and self-trust.
What surprised you most about midlife or menopause?
How I would describe it: I was living my best life until I wasn’t. Menopause hit me hard. Horrible hot flashes. Difficulty sleeping (an activity I always cherished and enjoyed). Hair loss (one of the biggest losses by far). And a general sense that I no longer knew what was wrong with my body or how to make it feel better. That sense of powerlessness was hard for me to accept. It took years to get to feel comfortable in my new body and to be OK with all of the changes that came with this new chapter.
What’s been the hardest part that people don’t talk about?
Becoming invisible. It’s like a switch flips, and all of a sudden, people are less interested in you and what you have to say. I rather enjoyed going down the street and grabbing the attention of someone walking by. That never happens to me anymore. It’s like I’m not even there.
I’ve learned to worry less about who’s watching and care more about the sense of joy in my heart. I need to find myself interesting. I need to surprise myself from time to time. I need to find delight in what I see in the mirror. So I focus on that.
What has helped you most (a habit, a mindset shift, support, HRT or no HRT, community)?
I’ve been hyper-focused on my health and wellness. Making sure I’m eating right. I’m moving my body. I’m getting regular check-ups and doing the right follow-ups. I use nice shampoos, get massages when I can, invest in comfortable shoes, and otherwise make sure I still feel pretty. I’ve done a lot of photoshoots over the last few years. That was mostly for business reasons, but it’s nice to get in front of the camera and exude happiness and joy. Sure, I see more wrinkles, but to me, they are a sign of resilience and a reminder that I’ve seen and done a lot. And I’m still standing!
What are you unlearning?
I’m not old. I’m experienced. I’ve been there and done that. I have no regrets. I’ve visited beautiful places, travelled with friends, been sick with grief, and experienced peace and joy. I’m learning that there is still plenty of time to have more experiences with new people and a different version of myself. I’m not as wild and crazy as I was back in my 30s, but there is still a part of me that loves adventure and trying new things. She’s still there. She’s just different.
What do you wish you could tell your 35-year-old self?
Keep going, sis! I’m very proud of who I was back then. Thirty-five-year-old Hady was working hard, learning how to show up for herself, and she was fit. She was doing the best she could to build a fulfilling life. She didn’t know it at the time, but she would soon lose some very important people in her life who would forever change how she viewed her purpose in the world.
I would tell her to keep trusting herself, to silence the voices of the people who judged her but didn’t know her, and to always put kindness first.
What do you want other women to know they’re not alone in?
Ageing is part of life and can feel unsettling. If you feel like something familiar is dying, just know that it’s part of the process. But also know that something new is being born. This season brings with it an opportunity to recalibrate and confirm what’s working and what’s not. I have gotten wiser, bolder and braver with age. I care less about what other people think and have learned to trust myself more. I have gained clarity. It’s a beautiful time if you let it be. Ageing gracefully is the best gift you can give yourself.
What’s one small ritual or practice that’s keeping you steady in your daily life?
There are so many: drinking a mid-morning cafecito with a sweet treat, going for long walks, regularly publishing essays on Substack, and trying new things.
As an example, I just moved to Madrid on my own with no friends/family to speak of. And so far, I have loved getting to know the city, finding a place to live, seeking out cafes and restaurants that cater to my dietary needs, and more. Plus, I wrote my first solo book last year! I’m not allowing the ageing process to slow me down. I’m leaning into this time as an opportunity to double down on what matters and release what doesn’t serve me.
What I love about Hady’s answers is the way she refuses to make ageing a shrinking. Yes, she names the losses, the sleep disruption, the hair loss, the body that suddenly feels unfamiliar, and the sting of walking through the world like you’re no longer being seen. But then she does what so many women are quietly learning to do in midlife: she stops outsourcing her worth. She focuses on health, beauty, pleasure, and presence, not to chase youth, but to honour the woman she is now. Wrinkles become evidence of resilience. A photoshoot becomes a declaration. Moving to Madrid alone becomes proof that time hasn’t run out; it’s opened up. And the message she leaves us with is steady and true: something may be dying in this season, but something new is being born, too. If you let it, midlife can be the chapter where you get wiser, bolder, braver and finally, unapologetically, your own.
If you’d like to be part of the ‘5 Minutes With…’ series, or you know a woman whose voice would feel like medicine here, email me at hello@kiransinghuk.com. And if you’re reading this thinking, same, tell me in the comments: what are you unlearning in midlife?
Thank you for including me in this beautiful initiative!
Yes! Yup! Absolutely! As I'm reading this article, I found myself resonating with almost everything said. I'm pretty new to Substack and have only recently started to dive into this space of menopause on this platform. I didn't focus on it for years and now....well, my body is forcing me to. @Kiran and @Hady - this is one of the first articles I've read and it settled me knowing it's not just me. I appreciate the honesty!