Dr Julia Schlam Edelman is moving from midlife into post-menopause with the kind of clarity that only comes from living it while carrying everyone else too. A physician and women’s health advocate, she experienced firsthand the intense squeeze of the sandwich generation: teenage children, ageing parents, career demands, a working spouse, and a body quietly shifting under the weight of it all. In this conversation, Julia speaks honestly about the hidden pressure of that season, the brain fog and physical changes that arrive just as life gets busier, and the discipline it takes to protect your own wellbeing when everything around you is pulling in the opposite direction.
Who are you, and what season of midlife are you in right now?
I am transitioning out of midlife and making my way in post menopause.
What surprised you most about midlife or menopause?
What surprised me most was the pressure of being in the sandwich generation in midlife with the stresses of teenage offspring, work, a working spouse, ageing parents and the challenges of trying to do self-care as my body changed.
What’s been the hardest part that people don’t talk about?
The hardest part is finding time to take stock of where you are in life, where you want to be, and how to get there. At the same time, you are learning to care for yourself differently as you experience changes in your brain (brain fog) and physical changes in your body. And all around you, there are mounting demands that don't support self-care and drain your time and energy.
What has helped you most (a habit, a mindset shift, support, HRT or no HRT, community)?
What helped me most was scheduling time to take stock at least once a week and scheduling exercise in my calendar as I would a doctor's appointment or other commitment.
What are you unlearning?
I am unlearning how to put my needs last.
What do you wish you could tell your 35-year-old self?
I would tell my 35-year-old self to schedule quiet time regularly, identify what you find rewarding, and take steps to start doing it.
What do you want other women to know they’re not alone in?
I want women to know that changes affect every individual in different ways at different times. We need to respect each other's experiences as each of us is unique. We each will make specific choices at specific times that may not apply to our friends, coworkers and relatives. Midlife is not a one-size-fits-all experience.
What’s one small ritual or practice that’s keeping you steady in your daily life?
One small ritual that keeps me steady is waking up before my family and before I get calls from my office. During this protected quiet time, I can think about my day and what I might like to accomplish besides what is on my schedule.
What I appreciate most about Julia’s perspective is its practicality. She doesn’t romanticise midlife. She schedules it. She puts exercise in the diary like a medical appointment. She blocks out quiet time before the world wakes up. She actively unlearns the habit of putting herself last. There’s something powerful in that. Midlife may not be one-size-fits-all, but the reminder to respect our own unique timing, energy, and needs feels universal. If you’re in the thick of the sandwich years, feeling stretched between everyone else’s demands, let this be your nudge: protect your mornings, schedule your well-being, and give yourself permission to matter in your own life.
If you’d like to be part of the ‘5 Minutes With…’ series, or you know a woman whose voice would feel like medicine here, email me at hello@kiransinghuk.com. And if you’re reading this thinking, same, tell me in the comments: what are you unlearning in midlife?