Laurie Flynn (My Menossance) is 53, divorced, a mother of two grown boys, and living in Boston somewhere in what she brilliantly calls the Menoverse: peri, meno, who even knows anymore, but she’s definitely in the thick of it. By day, she leads an elementary literacy nonprofit that’s donated over a million books to children and schools in need; alongside that, she’s a certified life coach, writer, and devoted reader. In this season of midlife, Laurie is holding tight to two things: the transformative power of female friendships and the truth that reinvention is available to us even when we didn’t see the need for it coming. Her words feel like a midlife renaissance in real time: honest, warm, sharp, and deeply human.
Who are you, and what season of midlife are you in right now?
I’m Laurie Flynn, a 53-year-old divorced mother of two grown boys, living in Boston and navigating life somewhere in what I like to call the “Menoverse.” Peri? Meno? I am not quite sure. But I do know I am in the thick of it!
By day, I am the president of an elementary literacy-based nonprofit. We’ve donated more than 1,000,000 books to children and schools in need. I am also a certified life coach, a writer, and a devoted reader. At this season of midlife, I find myself holding tightly to two beliefs: in the transformative power of female friendships and in our own capacity to reinvent ourselves and our lives, even when we did not see the need for reinvention coming.
I’ve come to think of this chapter as my midlife renaissance (thus My Menossance!), where I get to rethink, reimagine, and reinvent who I am and where I want to go on this gloriously unpredictable journey.
What surprised you most about midlife or menopause?
What has surprised me most is the sheer paradox of it all. On the one hand, midlife has introduced a level of unpredictability I have never known before. There are days when my body feels like it’s operating with a will entirely its own. Sleep, energy, mood, and even focus can shift without warning. It has been humbling to realise that I am no longer fully in charge in the ways I once believed I was.
And yet, on the other hand, there is a steadiness that has arrived alongside the chaos. While my body may feel less predictable, my inner world feels more anchored. I find myself caring less about what others think, trusting the voice inside of me more readily, and feeling increasingly pulled toward desire rather than expectation. There is a quiet confidence that comes from having lived long enough to know what matters and what does not.
So, the surprise has been this: just as my body has become less certain, I have become more so.
What’s been the hardest part that people don’t talk about?
The hardest part of this stage of life for me has been caring for ageing parents. For my mother in particular.
Just as I was entering perimenopause, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. What followed was a long and brutal illness. It was not just the loss of her that was so painful, but the way we lost her. Slowly and in pieces.
There is something profoundly disorienting about watching the people who once cared for us become the ones in need of care. The role reversal is shocking, even when we know it is
inevitable. To find yourself guiding, protecting, and making decisions for someone who once did all of those things for you is both an honour and a heartbreak.
As a mother myself, it was a constant reminder of how precious and fragile life is. That there are no guarantees. That time moves in one direction only. It forced me to confront how quickly roles can shift, and how important it is to make the most of the time we have, even in the midst of hot flashes, exhaustion, and everything else midlife brings.
It is a kind of grief that does not get talked about enough. The grief of losing someone while they are still here.
What has helped you most (a habit, a mindset shift, support, HRT or no HRT, community)?
What has helped me most? Hormones. Hormones. Hormones!
Thanks to a combination of pills and patches, I can finally sleep again. And sleep, it turns out, changes everything. It is hard to overstate the relief that comes from feeling like your body is working with you instead of against you.
But alongside medical support, the community has been equally essential. I cannot imagine what it must have been like to navigate this stage of life back when it was considered impolite to talk about it. There is such power in women comparing notes and telling the truth about what is happening in our bodies and our lives - the good, the bad, and yes, the sweaty.
It feels very on brand that Gen X finally said, “Enough.” Now the conversation is out in the open, where it belongs. Sharing the experience, as wild and unpredictable as it can be, makes it far less lonely and a whole lot more navigable.
What are you unlearning?
I love this question! For me, midlife has been about unlearning the lessons that were baked into my little girl's bones about expectation. The subtle messages that told me to stay small and polite. To prioritise being liked over being honest. To worry more about pleasing others than pleasing myself.
I am unlearning the instinct to remain in rooms and relationships longer than I should simply because I thought I was supposed to. I am learning, instead, to trust the boldness that comes with years of experience and hard-earned wisdom. I am practising following my “wants” instead of my “shoulds.”
I want to feel fully embodied in my own life, without contorting myself to fit into tiny boxes someone else created. I want to build a life that feels authentic and unapologetically mine. Unlearning decades of people-pleasing is messy. But man, it’s worth it!
What do you wish you could tell your 35-year-old self?
To loosen her grip just a little and trust that things have a way of working themselves out. That she does not have to be so damn vigilant all the time. I would tell her to be kinder to herself, especially when it comes to her body. To stop treating it like a problem to solve and start seeing it as a partner in this life. I would remind her that parenting teenagers is hard, yes, but to hang in there because being the parent of young adults will become one of the greatest joys of her life.
And I would tell her this: Laugh more. Eat more. Play more. Travel more. Try more. Just do the thing…you won’t regret it.
What do you want other women to know they’re not alone in?
I want women to know they are not alone in the realisation that the story they thought they were living may no longer fit. It is okay to feel the urge to revise. To want something different. To question choices that once made sense. You are not alone in sensing that this may not be the ending…but a plot twist. And that it is never too late to rewrite your story.
What’s one small ritual or practice that’s keeping you steady in your daily life?
I read The Artist’s Way about a decade ago and have been doing morning pages ever since. At the start of each entry, I write a simple list that reflects the different parts of myself I want to remember to care for: Mind, Body, Spirit, Heart, and Home.
Before I begin my stream-of-consciousness writing about whatever is on my mind that day, I pause and write down one thing I did the day before to tend to each of those areas. It’s a small practice, but it helps me maintain a sense of balance. It reminds me that self-care is not one big sweeping act, but a collection of choices made over time.
What stays with you after Laurie’s interview is the paradox she names so perfectly: just as her body became less predictable, she became more certain. There’s something quietly exhilarating about that. She doesn’t sugarcoat the chaos, the sleep disruption, the mood shifts, the sweaty unpredictability. And she also doesn’t flinch from the deeper midlife grief that so many women carry silently: caring for ageing parents, and the particular heartbreak of losing someone slowly while they’re still here. Laurie reminds us that hormones can be life-changing, yes, but so can the permission to tell the truth out loud, to compare notes, to laugh about it, and to stop living by shoulds. Her practice of morning pages, tending to Mind, Body, Spirit, Heart, and Home, feels like a gentle blueprint for steadying yourself through change. If you’re feeling the urge to revise your life, Laurie’s message lands like a hand on your back: you’re not alone, and this isn’t the ending. It might be the plot twist.
If you’d like to be part of the ‘5 Minutes With…’ series, or you know a woman whose voice would feel like medicine here, email me at hello@kiransinghuk.com. And if you’re reading this thinking, same, tell me in the comments: what are you unlearning in midlife?
Nat, this makes me so happy 🥹🩷 This is exactly what I hoped the series would do, not just share stories, but spark real connections between women who would genuinely get each other.
And Laurie, I love that you two found each other through this. That feels like the whole point. More of this energy, please 🤗 x
This was awesome! Laurie is such an inspiration! I think I met her through your page Kiran. I love these 5 minute interviews. Beautiful and resonating 🤗🩷