Rachel Radway is a leadership and executive coach, multi-award-winning author, speaker, and consultant, currently in her mid-50s and still, very relatably, surprised every time something age-related pops up. In this conversation, Rachel shares how midlife can sneak up on you: you still feel young on the inside, then you move house like you’ve done a hundred times before, and suddenly your back reminds you that your body has new rules. What I love about Rachel’s answers is the blend of honesty and perspective. She names the emotional hit that can come with physical limitations, and she also speaks to the quiet gains of this season: stronger intuition, less tolerance for nonsense, and a deeper confidence in who you are.

Who are you, and what season of midlife are you in right now?

I'm a leadership & executive coach, multi-award-winning author, speaker, and consultant. I'm in my mid-50s.

What surprised you most about midlife or menopause?

It snuck up on me! I still think of myself as young, and it surprises me every time something "age-related" comes up. Mostly physical issues: For example, I just moved a few days ago. I've moved a ton; I have the routine down. But this time, I hurt my back pretty seriously just unpacking boxes. I was being careful, but I've always been prone to injury, and I just tweaked something that didn't want to move; however, I moved it.

What’s been the hardest part that people don’t talk about?

I think it's a combination of the new physical limitations, what I was just talking about, and the emotional hit that comes when we realise we can't turn back the clock. This is our new reality.

What has helped you most (a habit, a mindset shift, support, HRT or no HRT, community)?

A couple of things. I have much more community, including a lot of women in midlife, than I had when I was younger. And some mindset shifts: There are definitely advantages that come with age. I trust my intuition more. I don't put up with bullsh*t or other things I tolerated before. I'm wiser and more confident in who I am and how I show up in the world.

What are you unlearning?

Great question. I'm unlearning a lot, but it's not all down to midlife, or at least not directly. I learned in my early 50s that I'm neurodivergent, and that I've been masking all my life. This is something a lot of women in midlife are discovering: the estrogen drops we experience in perimenopause and menopause can exacerbate symptoms we've been hiding all our lives because we're so good at coping. So I'm unlearning that, peeling away all those layers that I built up over decades. I'm also unlearning pride and the independence I used to value so highly. None of us can do this alone.

What do you wish you could tell your 35-year-old self?

Focus on building community now; don't wait. Work isn't nearly as important as you think it is. Have a lot more fun; find more ways to bring joy into your life. And put some money away. And then more.

What do you want other women to know they’re not alone in?

They're not alone in any of it. In the physical or emotional challenges, or in the wins. We all need support, and we need to share the good, too. Celebrate together.

What’s one small ritual or practice that’s keeping you steady in your daily life?

I sit down at the end of each day and think about (and write down) all that went well and all that I'm grateful for. It's sending the universe a message, "More of this, please." I'm also restarting stretching exercises in the morning; ironically, I started a few days before I injured my back. But it's so important to move more, especially for those who sit at desks all day and are less active than they used to be.

Rachel’s interview is a reminder that midlife isn’t just a physical shift, it’s a reckoning and a refinement. There’s grief in realising you can’t turn back the clock, yes, but there’s also relief in the wisdom that arrives with that truth. I especially appreciated her reflections on unlearning: discovering neurodivergence later in life, recognising years of masking, and noticing how hormonal changes can amplify things women have been quietly coping with for decades. And then the most important thread running through it all: community. The older we get, the clearer it becomes that independence isn’t the same as strength, and none of us is meant to do this alone. Her daily practice of writing what went well and what she’s grateful for feels like a gentle way of saying, More of this, please while her recommitment to stretching and movement is the kind of practical care that keeps you steady for the long haul. If you’re navigating the physical changes, the emotional shifts, or the unexpected identity discoveries of midlife, let Rachel’s message land: you’re not alone in any of it, and you don’t have to carry it by yourself.

If you’d like to be part of the ‘5 Minutes With…’ series, or you know a woman whose voice would feel like medicine here, email me at hello@kiransinghuk.com. And if you’re reading this thinking, same, tell me in the comments: what are you unlearning in midlife?

5-minutes with... Rachel Radway