Some women make midlife sound like a slow fade. Like you’re meant to shrink your life down to something quiet and sensible and vaguely beige.
And then there are women like Dr Trina Read. She’s 57, one year into menopause, raising two teenage sons, and she speaks about her 50s the way most people talk about a second wind they didn’t realise they deserved. Clear. Direct. Unapologetic. Fully in her power.
What I loved most about this interview is that it isn’t performative. It’s not the usual midlife pep talk. It’s real-life wisdom, said plainly, with the kind of perspective you only get when you’ve stopped tying your worth to the outcome and started trusting your own timing.
Also, you’re going to want to read what she says about ambition, boundaries, and a three-minute micro-decision that genuinely changed her quality of life. Because that’s the thing about midlife: it’s rarely the dramatic overhaul. It’s the small, consistent choices that quietly hand you your life back.
Who are you, and what season of life are you in?
I’m Dr Trina Read, Canadian Sexologist and best-selling, award-winning author. I’m 57, married, raising two teenage sons, and one year into menopause.
This season? Fully in my power. Clear. Direct. Unapologetic.
What surprised you most about your 50s?
That I still feel like I’m twenty, but much (much!) wiser. I assumed I’d feel “old,” that my ambition would soften, that my marriage would drift into something comfortable and beige. Instead, I’m still ambitious. Still curious. My relationships are dynamic. If anything, I’m more engaged with my life.
One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):
Perfectionism. Letting go of it was hard. I used to be a high-achiever with high anxiety. Now I’m a high achiever who has achieved the outcome. I still care deeply, but I no longer tie my worth to the result.
One thing you’re choosing instead:
Trust. There’s a Buddhist teaching that as you mature, you stop chasing and allow what’s aligned to come toward you. I’m no longer gripping life so tightly. I do the work, and then I let it come.
One boundary you now honour, no apology:
I no longer give my work away for free. Early in my career, I was told exposure was currency. Write this. Speak there. It’ll be “great PR.” It rarely paid off. I learned the hard way that when you don’t value your work, other people won’t either. I now charge for what I’m worth, with no apology.
One micro-decision that changed everything:
Three minutes a day sitting on the Cooch Ball to strengthen my pelvic floor. It sounds small. Yet that tiny decision turned into a daily micro-reset of me pushing away from my desk. Best of all, I stopped leaking when I sneeze. I sleep through the night without running to the bathroom.
Midlife taught that small, consistent decisions change your quality of life.
One practice that keeps you steady:
Meditation. I’ve meditated 15–20 minutes every morning for over a decade. It’s helped me move through big emotions, big life events, and big decisions with calm instead of chaos.
One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:
That ambition has an expiration date. As a Sexologist whose work centres on women’s agency and desire, I see every day how powerful women become when they stop shrinking. My goals are bigger now, and they’re fueled by clarity instead of constantly chasing and having to prove myself.
The best thing about being in your 50s:
Perspective. I don’t react the way I used to. When something happens, I take a step back. I see patterns. I trust my wisdom. That steadiness is priceless.
At 50+, I…
became the woman I wanted to be in my twenties.
This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:
Life expands or contracts to what you're ready for. When we get into our 50s, our baggage wants us to play small, but you’re now wiser, and it’s clarifying.
If there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, say, build, or become, this is the moment to go for it. The fear doesn’t disappear with age, but your wisdom will guide your courage to get stronger.
Midlife isn’t a sunset. It’s your spotlight, if you’re bold enough to stand in it.
My Note to My Future Self
This is the kind of midlife I want. Not the midlife where I soften into beige, but the one where I soften into truth. Where I stop gripping, stop performing, stop offering my brilliance as a free sample and start treating my work, my body, my desires, my time as worthy of honour.
Also, I love the simplicity of Trina’s micro-decision. Three minutes. Not a reinvention. A tiny daily vote for a better quality of life. That’s the lesson. Midlife doesn’t require drama. It requires devotion.
If you’re following along this week
My Stop: Where am I still trying to be perfect to feel safe?
My Start: What would trust look like in one small area of my life this week?
My Boundary: Where do I need to stop giving my value away?
My Micro-decision: What 3-minute change would improve my quality of life?
My Practice: What helps me meet my emotions with calm instead of chaos?
Journal prompt: Where am I living like my ambition should have an expiry date?
If you’d like to be part of the ‘85 Weeks to Fifty' series, or you know a woman whose voice would feel like medicine here, email me at hello@kiransinghuk.com. And if you’re reading this thinking, same, tell me in the comments: What is your takeaway from this interview?
