There’s a particular kind of confidence in this week’s conversation, the kind that doesn’t announce itself; it just sits there, solid.
Jane Nriapia had her first child at seventeen and three by twenty-seven, which meant she arrived at empty nest and business founder in the same season, before fifty had even properly landed. She calls it a power move now. I don’t think she was calling it that at the time.
What I love about her answers is the refusal running quietly underneath all of it. Refusing to march to someone else’s drum. Refusing to build someone else’s dreams with her own hard work. Refusing the old belief that women become less valuable with age, and not with anger, just with a shrug, because who’s got time for that noise anymore.
She’s not at fifty yet. But she’s already all in on it.
Who are you, and what season of life are you in?
My name is Jane Nriapia. I am a wife, mum, and marketer by profession, and more recently I have become a business founder.
I am fast approaching 50, and when people ask my age, I always say I am nearly 50 rather than “I’m 49.” I feel like I am all in on being 50 and, surprisingly, I’m looking forward to it. It is a milestone I am very excited to reach, although I still have a few months of my 40s to live out before the big day arrives.
I had my first child at 17 and weathered the looks of disapproval and tuts under people’s breath with the naivety you might expect from an unruly teenager. Little did I know that having children young would actually turn out to be quite the power move.
I had three children by the age of 27, all of whom have now graduated from university, moved out, and left my husband and me as empty nesters before either of us has reached 50.
This has substantially freed up my time to invest in myself and start my business. I started BoutiqueSEO in March 2025 to offer websites, SEO, and digital marketing services exclusively to medical aesthetics clinics, and I am absolutely loving my new role.
What surprised you most about your 50s?
Well, as mentioned, I am not quite there yet, but it is becoming apparent that this stage of life is not what I had in mind. I guess most of us think 50 is ancient when we are children, and I do wonder if it actually was back in the day!
Now, women in my age cohort are more educated about health and fitness, and we have access to medical aesthetics, which can help us feel better about what we see in the mirror. But if I peel back those superficial thoughts about what I look like, it’s how I feel that has surprised me most.
The sense of self-confidence and belief in myself is the astounding part. It’s as though all your life experiences compound into this “knowing”. With hindsight, I now have a much better understanding of the journey: why both good and bad things happened, and how they have led me to where I am today.
One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):
I’m in that lovely part of life where I’ve stopped caring so much about other people’s opinions of me. I try to be kind to people and do the right thing, but I can smell BS a mile off now, and I won’t entertain it.
I think when we make it clear what we won’t tolerate, it opens our lives up to attract the right things that are meant to find us.
One thing you’re choosing instead:
I’m choosing the people and things that really matter to me. My husband and my kids will always be my first choice. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot more time for myself in this season of my life, but I will drop everything for my family in a heartbeat. That will never change.
One boundary you now honour, no apology:
Protecting my time for rest and relaxation. These are things you don’t get a lot of when you are working full-time and have a house full of children.
I absolutely love having the space to just chill out now. It can be difficult to switch off, and we often don’t feel like we deserve to sit and do nothing, but this is something I am getting much better at.
One micro-decision that changed everything:
I decided I wasn’t going to march to the sound of someone else’s drum anymore.
I am a hard-working person. I always have been. One day, I just woke up and decided I wasn’t going to use my hard work and dedication to build someone else’s dreams when I could be building my own.
One practice that keeps you steady:
I don’t do as much exercise as I should because I find myself glued to a screen most of the time. Parkrun is the one thing I commit to every Saturday morning.
I am not a great runner, but starting the weekend with a 5K always gives me a sense of achievement and sets me up nicely for a productive couple of days.
One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:
That women become less valuable as we age. We might be to some men, but who cares what they think anyway?
I have so much more experience and value to offer now than I ever did at any other age in my life.
The best thing about being in your 50s:
When I get there, it will be the whole year of treats that I am already planning to mark this momentous occasion, starting with a big family trip to Mexico.
I am being completely selfish and booking in all the things that will make me happy. I feel like I deserve it.
Complete this: At 50+, I am…
At 50+, I am finally backing myself.
This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:
It’s no mean feat for us women to survive and thrive in this world. We all know the things we have put up with and tolerated, so take the time to congratulate yourself on how far you’ve come.
This is our time of life. Time for us to have the freedoms that men have taken for granted. Time for us to find ourselves and be proud of who we are.
As we continue to create and build, we are leaving a legacy for all the women and girls who will come after us. So put your best foot forward and don’t let the opportunity slip away.
“At 50+, I am finally backing myself.”
That’s the line I keep coming back to from Jane, not because it’s the loudest thing she said, but because of everything underneath it. The seventeen-year-old mother who weathered the tuts. The empty nester who used the space that opened up to build something of her own. The woman who can smell BS a mile off now and simply won’t entertain it.
Backing yourself isn’t a single moment. It’s decades of small refusals, stacking up until one day you notice you’re standing differently.
If something in Jane’s honesty landed for you today, I’d love to know where.
More about Jane here: Boutiqueseo.co.uk
My Note to My Future Self
What I love about Jane’s answers is how early her fifties confidence actually started building.
She had her first child at seventeen, weathered the disapproval, and by twenty-seven had three children and a life that looked nothing like anyone expected. She calls it a power move now. I think it took decades to earn that framing.
There’s something in her refusal to march to someone else’s drum that stays with me: the decision to stop using her hard work to build someone else’s dreams. That’s not a fifty-year-old realisation. That’s a lifetime of noticing, then one ordinary morning, finally acting on it.
And I love that she’s already planning her whole year of treats before she’s even arrived. Not waiting for fifty to grant her permission. Taking it now.
Maybe that’s the real lesson. Backing yourself doesn’t wait for a birthday.
If you’re following along this week
My Stop: Where am I still entertaining other people’s BS instead of trusting what I can already smell a mile off?
My Start: What would it look like to march to my own drum this week, in one small, specific way?
My Boundary: Where do I need to protect my time for rest, without feeling I have to earn it first?
My Micro-decision: What am I still building for someone else that I could start building for myself instead?
My Practice: What’s my Parkrun; the one small, repeatable thing that gives me a sense of achievement and sets the tone for what follows?
Journal prompt: What am I already allowed to back myself on, without waiting for a milestone to say so?
85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If Jane’s words are landing, if you’re finding yourself somewhere in her honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.
The Midlife Circle is that space. A private podcast, a Midlife by Design Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.
And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.
You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.
🤍 Kiran x