When I sat down with Jen Rulon’s answers for this Q&A, I felt an immediate, refreshing wave of energy. There is a fierce, liberating clarity in the way she speaks about stepping into her fifties — not as a season of quiet retreat or endless performance, but as a bold, authentic return to herself.
Jen’s story is a remarkable tapestry. She is a 15-time Ironman athlete (including Kona, Hawaii), an author, speaker, and online coach guiding women through their own rebuild seasons. Yet, beneath the credentials and athletic feats, Jen describes her current season as something far more profound: “A woman who is finally living her authentic life”. From relocating to Costa Rica without waiting for anyone’s approval to making the conscious choice to stop chasing clients and relationships that aren’t aligned, Jen’s reflections are a powerful invitation to trade chronic performance for peace, boundaries, and simple, unforced presence.
I am so deeply honoured to share her wisdom with you today.
Who are you, and what season of life are you in?
My name is Jen Rulon, and I can share my typical response with you. I am a 15-time Ironman athlete, including the Ironman World Championship in Kona, Hawaii; an author and speaker; and I currently work with women online who are going through their own rebuild season. My focus is movement, mindset, metabolism, and meaning, but sometimes I feel like that’s more of a robotic story.
Now, the season of life that I’m in is: Yes, I am all of those, but I am a woman who is finally living her authentic life.
What surprised you most about your 50s?
I started to realise that people would judge me for whatever decision I made. And they’re not going to like it, or they are going to like it, but that’s not my story to carry anymore; that’s theirs.
One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):
I stopped chasing. Sure, I have a business where I follow up with women who might’ve been on my platform, or I might’ve coached before, and I’ll reach out to them, but I stop chasing people who aren’t convinced they want to be coached by me or come to my retreat. Granted, that has taken me a while to figure out, and I’m not always the best at it, but when I remind myself to stop chasing, I start attracting naturally.
One thing you’re choosing instead:
I’m choosing boundaries.
One boundary you now honour, no apology:
My move to Costa Rica was for me, and I didn’t apologise to anybody. Not everybody in my family approved of my decision, but I didn’t need approval anymore.
One micro-decision that changed everything:
Learning to trust my own decisions and not to listen to others. Oops, that may be more than a micro-decision. HA!
One practice that keeps you steady:
Movement. Strength training. Surfing. Walking, running, and swimming when I feel like it.
One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:
Menopause and perimenopause are not the problem. Your outlook on aging is the problem. Stop blaming menopause for not exercising and for a crappy diet. Yes, menopause is real, but we also have to be better about not blaming it for EVERYTHING!
The best thing about being in your 50s:
I love who I am. I love the simplicity of my life because I finally stopped performing.
Complete this: At 50+…
…I am happy, vibrant, free, and at absolute peace.
This week, I want women turning 50 to remember
You are enough. Stop trying to get your dad’s approval, your mom’s, your partner’s, or your boss’s. You are enough. And you always were!
My Note to My Future Self
What I keep returning to is Jen’s realisation: “I love who I am. I love the simplicity of my life because I finally stopped performing”.
All those years we spent chasing approval from every authority figure in our lives, over-explaining our choices, and carrying other people’s judgment as if it were our story to carry — and the quiet, radical act of finally realising that we are enough. We always were.
Because midlife isn’t about shrinking. Or perhaps we’ve just decided to stop blaming our bodies or our seasons and start taking radical ownership of our own outlook and lives.
I loved her boundary around approval. Moving to Costa Rica simply because it was right for her, without writing a single apology or seeking permission from family or anyone else. There is so much permission in that. So many women have been socialised to edit their desires and wait for consensus before stepping into a new chapter. Jen protects her choices without apology. And that shift — from chasing people and approval to simply attracting what belongs — might be the most underrated gift of this decade.
And her closing line: “You are enough. Stop trying to get your dad’s approval, your mom’s, your partner’s, or your boss’s. You are enough. And you always were!”
I don’t think I need to add anything to that.
If you’re following along this week:
My Stop: Where am I still chasing relationships, approval, or opportunities that require me to compromise my peace?
My Start: Which boundary can I choose today that honours what I genuinely want, without waiting for permission or approval?
My Boundary: Where do I need to hand back other people’s judgment, remembering that their opinion of my choices is not my story to carry?
My Micro-decision: What is one decision I can trust myself to make today without running it past anyone else first?
My Practice: How can I move my body today — whether strength training, walking, or swimming — as a celebration of movement rather than an obligation?
Journal Prompt: If I were to completely stop performing and trying to prove my worth to everyone else, what simple, authentic life would be waiting for me underneath?
There is something so deeply reassuring about sharing this space with women like Jen—athletes, thinkers, and mentors who remind us that midlife isn’t an end, but a vibrant threshold of freedom, peace, and authenticity.
If Jen’s reflections resonated with you today, I warmly invite you to explore her work with women in their rebuild seasons and take a moment to consider where you can stop chasing and start attracting in your own life.
As always, I’d love to hear what landed most deeply for you in this conversation. What is one area where you are ready to stop seeking approval? What does your own rebuild season look like? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below.
Until next time, keep curating a life that gently supports the woman you are becoming.
Kiran x