Some people arrive in this series, and you immediately understand why their work exists.
Kerri Devine is one of them.
Writer, producer, community builder, and the founder of @hotincharleston, a woman who describes herself as a midlife storyteller, inspired by the idea that “You tell me your story, and somehow, I get mine.” That line alone tells you everything about how Kerri moves through the world. With her ears open and her heart wider.
What I wasn’t prepared for in her answers was the rawness of how her fifties actually began. At forty-eight, she left New York City for Charleston, a brave, intentional move toward something quieter and more purposeful. And then perimenopause arrived, uninvited and unannounced, and upended everything. The anxiety, the mood swings, the rage. The feeling of not recognising herself during a season already crowded with change. Her relationships suffered. Her mental health suffered. And nobody had prepared her for any of it.
Because we talk about the physical changes of menopause. We rarely talk honestly about the emotional and relational ones, the way it can quietly dismantle the version of yourself you thought you knew.
What Kerri did next is the part that stayed with me. She got the right support, returned to herself, and then made a series of decisions that looked, from the outside, like chaos. She fired all her clients. She enrolled in an MFA in creative writing in her fifties. She built a community, wrote a thesis, produced two sold-out theatrical shows about midlife and perimenopause, and launched a Substack.
Not in spite of the rupture. Because of it.
That is what a real pivot looks like. Not a polished rebrand. A woman who fell apart, put herself back together differently, and decided the whole experience was worth sharing.
Who are you, and what season of life are you in?
I am the founder of the midlife community @hotincharleston. I’m a writer, producer and community builder… a midlife storyteller. My work is inspired by the phrase “you tell me your story, and, somehow, I get mine.” I am in my best season of life, the one where we embrace our deepest passions, shed the people, ideas, and identities that no longer serve us, and lean into self in the boldest, most authentic, and most courageous of ways.
What surprised you most about your 50s?
I think what surprised me most was the tumult of my early ‘50s, and then the sheer power of the pivot that followed.
At 48, I moved from NYC to Charleston in search of a quieter, more purposeful chapter in which to raise my teen daughter. What I never expected was the anxiety, mood swings and rage of perimenopause that upended my life during a time already crowded with change. I didn’t recognise myself, and my mental health suffered from the hormonal shifts. My relationships, too. Conversations about menopause are always focused on the physical changes. But in my opinion, it’s the emotional and relational changes that most affect you. A great menopause specialist helped return me to the self I knew. In response, I fired all my clients, enrolled in an MFA program in creative writing, and dedicated myself to helping women in midlife rediscover themselves and their voices.
One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):
I’ve tried to stop micro-managing and scenario-planning in all my roles, but especially with family. They didn’t need the full Kerri I was throwing at them. We need to relax in our parenting and in our relationships with our partners. If we wish to embrace the authenticity of our true selves and allow those selves to blossom, we must leave room for others to do the same. Loving sometimes means holding tight, but more than ever, I am convinced it means releasing. Holding on the way I was with my daughter made the empty nest really empty, and really hard. But now I observe, marvel, and parent from a greater distance. And I focus that old energy on myself.
One thing you’re choosing instead:
I’m choosing community.
Women deserve to be supported during this phase of life. My platform, @hotincharleston on Instagram, helps women feel seen and fosters compassion and empathy in an isolated world. My sold-out theatrical productions, Midlife Monologues and Pass the Mic for Perimenopause, showcase the power of story-sharing as medicine, something experts increasingly believe in.
Now I’m bringing the conversation to Substack with my newsletter Hormonal Rage & Other Breakthroughs. It’s important to acknowledge midlife honestly, for its aching beauty, absurdity and joy, as well as its ruptures and potential for rebirth. We must do that as a community. When we do, we’re stronger for it, as individuals and as a society.
One boundary you now honour, no apology:
I feel the best part of my 50s was shedding boundaries and embracing vulnerability. In a sense, boundaries to truth are falling away.
For my own creativity and care, I’m embracing selfishness after decades of putting my family, career, and volunteer work first. If this means erecting new boundaries by saying no, I’m all for it. We must be true to ourselves.
One micro-decision that changed everything:
Completing my thesis in my 50s and launching two theatrical productions while working on a book meant I was sitting in a desk chair for loooong stretches. Some days that meant 9 am until 2 am. I thought the space in my mind was what needed nurturing and attention. Now I’m turning to the physical self I ignored. Moving more, scheduling time for exercise, and taking up golf. Lifting weights. I want to preserve the physical self and see how strong she can become, just as I nurtured my creative self.
One practice that keeps you steady:
I love the physical and mental lengthening that Pilates provides. The way it has brought about a much-needed mind/body connection in me. I have struggled to be fully present at times in my life. Pilates is helping address that in unique ways. I hope to improve my Pilates practice over the next decade.
One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:
Midlife is not the end of anything. I don’t buy it. What’s delighting me is how the cultural conversation has shifted. Women in midlife hold all the cards. We are taking over the narrative. We are the super consumers. The power dynamic is shifting. It’s about time.
The best thing about being in your 50s:
The way things that had such a grip on us in the first half of the decade suddenly soften and then fall away in the second half. It is profoundly clarifying, powerfully emboldening.
Complete this: At 50+, I am…
I am the most fully myself that I have ever been. I am ready for more. More authenticity, more self-expression, more time with those I love, more time with myself as I continue to grow in the exploration of new dreams and passions.
This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:
No matter our age, there are always new chapters to write. The power of that next chapter will surprise and delight you. Make room.
My Note to My Future Self
What lingers most from Kerri’s answers is something she said about the second half of her fifties, the way things that had such a grip on you in the first half suddenly soften and fall away. ‘Profoundly clarifying. Powerfully emboldening.’
I’ve been thinking about that a lot.
Because so many of us are still in its grip. Still holding on to identities, relationships, habits, and versions of ourselves that stopped fitting years ago. And what Kerri is describing is not a dramatic letting go; it’s more like a gradual loosening. The hand opening, almost on its own, when you finally stop fighting the season you’re in.
I also loved what she said about releasing in relationships. That loving sometimes means holding tight, but more and more, she believes it means letting go. That her tight grip on her daughter made the empty nest genuinely harder. And that redirecting that energy, back toward herself, her creativity, her community, changed everything.
There is something so honest about admitting that. That sometimes our love, in its most anxious form, is really about us.
And her closing invitation, “There are always new chapters to write. The power of that next chapter will surprise and delight you. Make room”, felt less like advice and more like a quiet promise from someone who has actually lived it.
Make room. That might be the most important thing any of us can do right now.
If you’re following along this week:
My Stop: Where is my anxiety disguising itself as love, control, or over-involvement in someone else’s life?
My Start: What would I do, create, build, explore, if I redirected that energy back toward myself?
My Boundary: Where do I need to say no in order to make room for what actually matters?
My Micro-decision: Am I nurturing my physical self with even a fraction of the attention I give my mind?
My Practice: Where in my life could more presence, true, unhurried presence, change everything?
Journal prompt: What is still gripping me that I know, quietly, it’s time to release? And what might open up if I finally did?
85 Weeks to Fifty is a series born from one woman walking herself towards fifty in the company of other women’s wisdom. If their stories are landing, if you’re finding yourself in their honesty, there is a space where this conversation continues, week by week, not just in interviews but in the deeper, more personal work of actually living this season differently.
The Midlife Circle is that space. Bi-weekly essays and The Midlife Edit, a private podcast, a Starter Library of tools, and a monthly personal video from me, from £19/month or £149/year.
And if you’re ready for the deepest layer, audio training, The Midlife Reset course, and four quarterly 1:1 calls with me, the Midlife Inner Circle is £297/year.
You don’t have to walk towards fifty alone. Come and do it properly.