There’s something powerful about a woman who stops trying to improve a life that no longer fits and starts asking whether it was ever truly hers.
That’s what stayed with me reading Lana Jean Telles’ answers. At 59, Lana describes this season as a season of identity expansion. Not doing more, not carrying more, but becoming more aligned with what is true, while releasing what no longer belongs.
What I loved most was how honestly she connects midlife, health, leadership, identity, and community. Real change, as she reminds us, doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from becoming more of who you actually are.
Who are you, and what season of life are you in?
I’m Lana Jean Telles, and I’m at the tail end of my 50s. I turned 59 this past March. For me, this season is best described as identity expansion. Not in the sense of doing more, but in becoming more aligned with what is actually true for me. It’s been a season of refining, of letting go of what no longer fits, choosing differently, and living with more intention and far less noise.
I write from lived experience, not theory alone. I’m a board-certified special education professional with nearly two decades of experience, currently serving in leadership and statewide advocacy, and I’m also pursuing my doctorate in educational leadership. Alongside that, I’m navigating the very real layers of midlife, identity shifts, unfinished work, and health. Being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and lupus in my early 50s forced me to reevaluate everything: how I spend my time, how I care for myself, and what I’m willing to carry. It reshaped my understanding of leadership and showed me that how I care for myself isn’t separate from my work; it’s foundational to it.
I’m also the founder of Worthy & Wild, The Expansion Equation™, and The Expansion Readiness Audit™, all rooted in one belief: real change doesn’t come from doing more, it comes from becoming more of who you actually are.
What surprised you most about your 50s?
What surprised me most is how freeing this season has been. I thought it would feel heavier, but instead it brought clarity. There’s a confidence that comes when you stop negotiating with yourself. Facing my own limits through health challenges made it clear I couldn’t keep living the way I had been, pushing, carrying, and overextending, and that clarity changed how I choose now.
I’ve outgrown the life I once worked so hard to build, not because it was wrong, but because I’m no longer the woman who built it. I’ve learned that growth isn’t about improving the life you have; it’s about having the courage to choose a life that actually fits.
One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):
I’ve stopped trying to optimise a life that no longer fits me. For a long time, I believed growth meant doing better, managing more, and improving what I had already built. But what I needed wasn’t a better version of the same life; I needed to question whether it was mine at all. I stopped over-functioning, stopped explaining myself, and stopped carrying what wasn’t mine to hold. That shift alone changed everything.
One thing you’re choosing instead:
I’m choosing what expands my world and my sense of self, but intentionally, not a busy one. I’m drawn to experiences, conversations, and spaces that challenge how I see myself and what I believe is possible. Expansion, for me, isn’t about doing more; it’s about becoming unavailable for anything that keeps me small and choosing what feels true, even when it requires change.
One boundary you now honour, no apology:
I protect my time without apology. There was a season where I worked long, exhausting hours, constantly available and constantly giving. I don’t live that way anymore. I no longer extend my workday endlessly or sacrifice my life to maintain systems that will continue without me. My time belongs to me first; to my family, my health, and the life I’m intentionally building.
One micro-decision that changed everything:
Starting my Substack. It seemed like a small decision, but it shifted everything. Writing every day helped me hear myself more clearly, but what I didn’t expect was the community it created. In a world that often feels divided and disconnected, it became a space for something different: real conversations, honest reflection, and women showing up as they are.
There’s a kind of connection that happens when people are willing to tell the truth in real time, a kinetic connection you can feel. It reminded me that growth isn’t meant to happen in isolation, but in relationships and shared experience. Substack didn’t just give me a platform; it gave me a connection.
One practice that keeps you steady:
Hiking and backpacking. I’ve always loved the outdoors, but after my diagnosis, it became something deeper. It became a way to return to myself, and also a way to prove to myself that I was capable of more than I thought.
Climbing Half Dome, reaching the summit of Mt. Whitney, and taking on long backpacking trips weren’t just physical accomplishments; they reaffirmed something within me. Nature strips everything back and brings me into presence. It reminds me that my health isn’t something to push through, it’s something to honour.
One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:
I no longer believe that growth means doing more, holding more, or managing more. I used to ask, “How do I keep everything together?” Now I ask, “Why am I still holding this at all?” Some of the things I was trying to fix were never mine to carry. I didn’t need a better plan; I needed a truer identity.
The best thing about being in your 50s:
The best thing about being in my 50s is that I am self-led. I choose for myself, intentionally and without the same need for external validation. There’s a clarity in this season that can’t be rushed; you begin to understand that your time, energy, health, and presence are not unlimited resources, and you choose accordingly. I also see now that identity work is legacy work. How I live, what I model, and what I choose to hold onto or release create ripple effects beyond me. That awareness is incredibly freeing.
Complete this: At 50+, I am…
At 50+, I am no longer becoming who the world expected me to be; I am becoming who I know myself to be. I am more aware of what is true for me and more willing to honour it. I am less interested in performing a life that looks right and more committed to living one that feels right. I trust myself in a way I didn’t before, not because everything is certain, but because I’ve learned to listen. And perhaps most importantly, I no longer question my worth. I don’t have to search for it or prove it. She’s right here.
This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:
You don’t need to do more to create a better life. You need to get honest about what no longer fits and have the courage to choose differently. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling like something has shifted; that awareness is not a problem to fix, it’s an invitation. And you don’t have to do this alone.
We’re living in a time where connection is often replaced with noise, comparison, and division, but real growth happens in spaces where people are willing to show up honestly. That’s what community offers, and it matters more than we realise. You’re not here to improve the life that no longer fits. You’re here to choose one that does.
My Note to My Future Self
What I love about Lana’s answers is their clarity. She is not talking about reinvention as a shiny new identity. She is talking about becoming unavailable for anything that keeps her small. That feels very different. Deeper. Braver. More honest.
And I keep coming back to this idea that identity work is legacy work.
How we live matters. What we choose matters. What we stop carrying matters. The way we honour our health, our truth, our time, our voice, our relationships, it all sends a message. To our children. To our communities. To the women walking beside us. To the future version of ourselves who is watching to see whether we will choose her.
There is something so freeing in Lana’s words: I no longer question my worth. I don’t have to search for it or prove it. She’s right here.
That is the kind of sentence a woman earns, and maybe that is the invitation of this decade. Not to become more acceptable. Not to become more productive. Not to become better at carrying what was never ours.
But to choose a life that finally fits.
If you’re following along this week
My Stop: Where am I still trying to optimise a life, role, or routine that no longer fits me?
My Start: What would it look like to choose expansion without adding more noise?
My Boundary: Where do I need to protect my time, health, and energy without apology?
My Micro-decision: What small choice could help me hear myself more clearly again?
My Practice: What helps me return to my body, my truth, and my own capacity?
Journal prompt: What am I still holding that was never mine to carry, and what would choosing differently make possible?
There’s a version of this where you read every word, nod along, maybe forward it to a friend. That’s lovely, and it’s enough.
But if some quiet part of you has been wanting more than words, a real conversation, someone in your corner for the rest of this chapter, that door is open now.
Midlife Circle Founder: four calls a year with me. Not forty more things to read.
I love everything about this interview! No surprise at all given it was a conversation between two of my favorite wise women writers on Substack. XO
"Identity work is legacy work" is the line that stays with me. Most people treat identity as something private, sorted out alone, when really it's the thing everyone around you inherits whether you examine it or not.