There’s something especially powerful about a woman who has lived through enough to know the difference between a life that looks right and a life that feels right.
That’s what stayed with me reading Shari Leid’s answers. She has rebuilt her life from the inside out after divorce, cancer, and years of trying to be the version of herself she thought she was supposed to be. And you can feel that in the way she speaks now. There’s no performance in it. No need to dress pain up as perfection. Just the steadiness of a woman who has earned her own clarity and is no longer interested in betraying herself to keep the peace.
What I loved most about this interview is how deeply it speaks to the real work of midlife. Not becoming someone new for the sake of reinvention, but becoming more fully yourself. More honest, more discerning, more willing to choose alignment over applause.
Also, what she says about one almost-missed dinner changing the course of her life is such a beautiful reminder that sometimes the next chapter doesn’t arrive with fireworks. Sometimes it begins with simply saying yes.
Who are you, and what season of life are you in?
I’m Shari Leid, connection coach, speaker, author, former litigator, and a woman who rebuilt her life from the inside out after divorce, cancer, and decades of trying to be who I thought I “should” be. I’m in the season of intentional reinvention, where self, career, and community finally align.
What surprised you most about your 50s?
I would have never expected my 50s to be my best decade, with my most significant growth!
One thing you’ve stopped doing (and you’re better for it):
Explaining myself to people committed to misunderstanding me.
One thing you’re choosing instead:
Direct conversations. Clarity over comfort. Connection over control.
One boundary you now honour, no apology:
If it costs my peace, my sleep, or my integrity, it’s too expensive. My favourite quote is, "If today were the last day of my life, would I be doing what I'm doing now?"
One micro-decision that changed everything:
While it is hard to pick just one, deciding to attend a dinner, which I almost did not go to because I was solo, this happened less than a year ago, I met someone in passing, who learned I was moving to a new city without an anchor, who connected me via LinkedIn to a woman in my new city. That woman, who is now a close friend, has been the catalyst for the friendships and business relationships I've developed in my new city.
One practice that keeps you steady:
Meditation, journaling, exercise, playing with the dogs, and prayer....every day before I open my computer.
One belief about midlife you no longer subscribe to:
That it’s a winding down. Midlife is not an ending. It’s a recalibration.
The best thing about being in your 50s:
Discernment. I know who I am. I know what I value. And I no longer confuse attention with alignment.
At 50+, I am…
…becoming more myself than ever before.
This week, I want women turning 50 to remember:
You are not behind. You are becoming.
My Note to My Future Self
What I love about Shari’s answers is how grounded they are in self-respect.
There comes a point in life where you get tired of performing understanding, performing politeness, performing a version of yourself that keeps everyone else comfortable while quietly costing you your own peace. And maybe that’s one of the gifts of midlife. You finally realise the price is too high.
That line, “I no longer confuse attention with alignment”, really stayed with me. Because how many of us have spent years mistaking visibility for truth, busyness for meaning, or being wanted for being well-matched? Midlife has a way of stripping all of that back. What’s left is discernment. Real discernment. The kind that helps you choose your life more carefully.
And I love that her turning point came from something as ordinary as going to dinner alone. A small yes, a slight opening, proof that sometimes the life you want begins the moment you stop waiting to feel fully certain.
If you’re following along this week
My Stop: Where am I still explaining myself to people who have already decided not to understand me?
My Start: What direct conversation do I need to have instead of endlessly managing the discomfort?
My Boundary: What in my life is costing me peace, sleep, or integrity?
My Micro-decision: What small yes could open a new door for me this week?
My Practice: What helps me come home to myself before the world gets access to me?
Journal prompt: Where am I still mistaking attention for alignment?
If you’d like to be part of the ‘85 Weeks to Fifty' series, or you know a woman whose voice would feel like medicine here, email me at hello@kiransinghuk.com. And if you’re reading this thinking, same, tell me in the comments: What is your takeaway from this interview?