Last night, I sat with a realisation that’s been quietly forming for a while, and when it landed, it landed deep.
There are parts of me that still show up as the woman I used to be. Not in an obvious way. Not all the time.
But in small, subtle moments. When I feel that ache to be seen, or the flutter of insecurity. When I crave reassurance more than I care to admit. When I feel myself needing someone to choose me, even though I know how to choose myself now.
It’s not the woman I am today.
It’s my younger self. The version of me from my twenties. The one who thought love had to be earned. Who confused attention with safety. Who shaped herself to be wanted, even if it cost her authenticity.
And you know what? I don’t hate her. I don’t judge her.
She was doing the best she could with what she knew. She was tender. She was raw. She was desperate to belong.
But the woman I am now? She’s different. She’s grounded. Calm. Sure of herself. She knows her own voice, and she speaks it. She owns her desires and doesn’t apologise for having them.
She knows that being vulnerable doesn’t make her needy, and wanting connection doesn’t make her weak. She is no longer driven by fear or fantasy. She doesn’t shrink or perform. She no longer makes herself smaller to be loved. She doesn’t need to be chosen… because she already chooses herself.
And that shift? It’s everything.
Because now, when those younger parts of me rise, when the old wounds whisper their old stories, I don’t disappear into them.
I pause. I breathe. I recognise who they belong to. And then I let the woman I’ve become… lead.
This is what it means to grow. Not to deny the past, but to outgrow the version of you that once felt safer hiding.
And if you’re somewhere in between the two, the you who was, and the you who’s becoming, let this be your reminder:
You’re not stuck. You’re evolving. And the woman you're stepping into? She’s already here.
She’s waiting for you to trust her.
Journaling Prompt
“What version of me still shows up when I feel vulnerable… and what does my present self want her to know?”
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