A few months ago, someone asked me, “Do you lead with your feminine or your masculine?” Without a second thought, I answered, “Masculine. Always.”
And in that moment, I didn’t flinch. I said it with quiet pride. I was the one who got things done. Who held it all together? The planner. The organiser. The protector. The woman with the calendar full of responsibilities and not a single line for herself.
But somewhere between the checklists and expectations, I began to feel something shift. Or rather, something softens.
When the Hustle Isn’t Helping Anymore
I used to think I had to do it all. Not just do it, do it perfectly. Run the home. Raise a daughter. Build a business. Heal quietly. Lead gracefully. I operated almost entirely in my masculine energy, logical, structured, always doing.
And in many ways, it worked. It helped me survive and succeed. But I didn’t realise it was also the very thing keeping me from feeling alive.
By the time midlife arrived, I wasn’t thriving. I was exhausted. Disconnected. Capable, yes. But hollowed out. Tired of being “the strong one” but unsure how to be anything else.
The Feminine I Had Forgotten
Midlife has this way of holding up a mirror to everything that’s been quietly aching. That mirror showed me a woman who could organise anything, except her own joy. Who could carry everyone, but couldn’t remember the last time she was held. Who had mastered control, but longed for softness.
So I began a new practice. A remembering. I danced again, not to burn calories, but to feel. I journaled, not from strategy, but from my soul. I lit candles, made tea slowly, and wore perfume, just for me. I let go. A little. Then a little more.
And I started to receive. Support. Beauty. Rest. Myself.
So What Are These Energies, Really?
They are not about gender – they are archetypes within us all.
Masculine Energy (Yang)
Doing
Logic
Structure
Direction
Action
Protection
Feminine Energy (Yin)
Being
Flow
Intuition
Receptivity
Creation
Nourishment
Both are necessary. But many of us have been taught to lead only with one. Especially as women, we’re praised for our performance, but rarely for our presence.
