Let’s get something straight: I don’t carry everything on my own because I want to prove a point. I do it because life hasn’t given me the luxury of waiting.
The more bills I pay by myself, the less impressed I am by sweet nothings and good intentions. It’s not that I don’t want love, I do. But not if it comes wrapped in empty promises and no contribution.
I don’t want another dependent. I want a partner.
I’ve learned to survive and thrive without help. I’ve built peace in my home, balance in my bank account, and strength in my spirit. I’ve mastered the art of showing up for myself. So, when a man enters my life talking about “connection” but bringing no stability, no effort, no weight-sharing, he starts to feel like another burden.
“I miss you” doesn’t pay my light bill.
“Let me pull up” doesn’t relieve the pressure I carry daily.
“I’ve got you” without action feels hollow.
I’m not bitter. I’m just tired. Tired of being told to soften when the world’s made me sharpen every edge just to survive. Tired of being called “too masculine” for wanting security. Tired of leading and being told I should let a man lead, when the men showing up don’t even know where they’re going.
Here’s what I know:
I’m not asking for too much. I’m asking the wrong men. Because real partnership brings peace, not pressure. Adds value, not stress. Leads with consistency, not confusion.
If you want access to my softness, you need to be a safe space. If you want my time, you'd better respect what it costs me. If you want to walk beside me, be ready to carry something too.
I don’t want to fix anyone. I don’t want to mother a grown man. I don’t want a half-love, a sometimes-love, a looks-good-on-paper love.
I want depth. Intention. Leadership. Alignment.
And if that’s too much?
Then I’ll continue choosing myself. Because I’d rather be alone in my peace than partnered in my exhaustion.
READ MORE: The Day I Realised I Am Not Alone, I Am On My Own
Journaling Prompt
Where in your life are you carrying the weight of a relationship that isn’t truly supporting you? What would it look like to release that?
Inspired Call-to-Action
Today, give yourself full permission to raise your standards and honour them. Start by saying no to anything that feels like a drain.
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