The line between health self-management and health self-respect is worth sitting with, since so much midlife health advice quietly turns the second into another version of the first. Treating symptoms as information instead of a personal failing is easy to agree with and much harder to do inside a fifteen minute appointment.
Yes. That distinction between health self-management and health self-respect is huge. And I think you’re right, so much of the advice we’re given can turn caring for ourselves into yet another project to manage, measure, and get “right”. And then we walk into a fifteen-minute appointment already feeling like we need to present our symptoms neatly enough to be believed. Treating symptoms as information rather than a personal failing sounds simple, but actually living that way takes a real shift in how we see ourselves and our bodies. Thank you for adding this perspective.
That “present our symptoms neatly enough to be believed” part really lands. It puts another job on the patient before the appointment has even started: notice everything, organise it, explain it well, and somehow still sound credible. Preparation can help, but it shouldn’t become another test women have to pass to receive care.
Exactly. And I think that’s the part we don’t talk about enough; the hidden labour women are often expected to do before they even walk into the consultation room.
We’re expected to become our own detectives, researchers and case managers, remember every symptom, when it started, what changed, what we’ve tried, and then package it all up neatly enough to be taken seriously. Preparation can absolutely help, but it shouldn’t feel like we have to build a watertight case just to have someone listen to us.
Being heard shouldn’t be another hurdle women have to clear to receive care.
This really resonates with what I see in my practice. By midlife, many women have become incredibly good at overriding what their bodies are telling them: fatigue, poor sleep, stress, hunger, pain, and simply continuing to function.
Then something changes, and the instinct is often to immediately fix it. Add a supplement. Change the diet. Exercise more. Check the hormones.
I think there is an important step before that: curiosity. Symptoms are signals. Instead of immediately asking, “How do I make this go away?” we can first ask, “What might my body be telling me?”
Paying attention doesn’t mean we stop looking for solutions. It helps us figure out what actually needs our attention.
Patricia, yes. I think that word — curiosity — is so important. We can become so accustomed to pushing through, overriding and carrying on that we almost stop noticing what our bodies are trying to tell us.
I love the distinction between immediately trying to fix a symptom and becoming curious about it first. It doesn’t mean ignoring the problem or not seeking solutions; it means slowing down enough to actually listen. Sometimes our bodies have been trying to get our attention for a very long time. Thank you for adding this perspective to the conversation x
The line between health self-management and health self-respect is worth sitting with, since so much midlife health advice quietly turns the second into another version of the first. Treating symptoms as information instead of a personal failing is easy to agree with and much harder to do inside a fifteen minute appointment.
Yes. That distinction between health self-management and health self-respect is huge. And I think you’re right, so much of the advice we’re given can turn caring for ourselves into yet another project to manage, measure, and get “right”. And then we walk into a fifteen-minute appointment already feeling like we need to present our symptoms neatly enough to be believed. Treating symptoms as information rather than a personal failing sounds simple, but actually living that way takes a real shift in how we see ourselves and our bodies. Thank you for adding this perspective.
That “present our symptoms neatly enough to be believed” part really lands. It puts another job on the patient before the appointment has even started: notice everything, organise it, explain it well, and somehow still sound credible. Preparation can help, but it shouldn’t become another test women have to pass to receive care.
Exactly. And I think that’s the part we don’t talk about enough; the hidden labour women are often expected to do before they even walk into the consultation room.
We’re expected to become our own detectives, researchers and case managers, remember every symptom, when it started, what changed, what we’ve tried, and then package it all up neatly enough to be taken seriously. Preparation can absolutely help, but it shouldn’t feel like we have to build a watertight case just to have someone listen to us.
Being heard shouldn’t be another hurdle women have to clear to receive care.
This really resonates with what I see in my practice. By midlife, many women have become incredibly good at overriding what their bodies are telling them: fatigue, poor sleep, stress, hunger, pain, and simply continuing to function.
Then something changes, and the instinct is often to immediately fix it. Add a supplement. Change the diet. Exercise more. Check the hormones.
I think there is an important step before that: curiosity. Symptoms are signals. Instead of immediately asking, “How do I make this go away?” we can first ask, “What might my body be telling me?”
Paying attention doesn’t mean we stop looking for solutions. It helps us figure out what actually needs our attention.
Thank you for sharing this important post
Patricia, yes. I think that word — curiosity — is so important. We can become so accustomed to pushing through, overriding and carrying on that we almost stop noticing what our bodies are trying to tell us.
I love the distinction between immediately trying to fix a symptom and becoming curious about it first. It doesn’t mean ignoring the problem or not seeking solutions; it means slowing down enough to actually listen. Sometimes our bodies have been trying to get our attention for a very long time. Thank you for adding this perspective to the conversation x