This was a thought provoking post , i thoroughly enjoyed it . The distinction between familiarity and belonging stayed with me. We can spend years surrounded by people and still feel unseen, because proximity is not intimacy.
One gift of midlife is that we stop measuring our lives by how many people are in them and begin noticing how we feel in their presence. Do I have to edit myself, manage their reactions, or earn my place? Or can I simply arrive as I am? Perhaps finding our people begins when we stop auditioning for belonging. The right community does not require us to become less of ourselves in order to remain part of it.
You did such a beautiful job of weaving together my words with your insights. Love this article! Thank you, Kiran, for featuring me and letting me speak to your community of women. I hope they find my words helpful and hopeful.
Thank you, Mina. I loved having this conversation with you and bringing your words into this piece. I think what you shared about loneliness, friendship grief, love, and community adds such an important dimension to the conversation around relationships in midlife.
And I love that Salley has added her experience here too. This is exactly why I wanted to have these conversations, because there isn’t one midlife story, and we learn so much when we make space for each other’s experiences. Thank you for trusting me with yours and for being part of this conversation x
A very interesting read. My midlife loneliness was not caused by those events. My marriage of 35 yeasts was happy and then cancer took my husband out very suddenly. We retired and settled in another country so my friends from work and school were far away. Making new friends took courage. I was lucky. I had family members who told me I could do it. Thanks to them I succeeded in creating a new life with new friends and new adventures it did take effort and believing in my worthiness to have happiness again.
Salley, thank you for sharing this. Your story is such an important reminder that there isn’t one single path into midlife loneliness. Sometimes it comes through the gradual changes of life, and sometimes it arrives through an unimaginable loss that changes everything overnight.
I love what you said about needing courage to make new friends and believing you were worthy of happiness again. There’s something incredibly powerful in that. Rebuilding a life after such a profound loss takes so much, and it sounds as though you allowed yourself to keep moving towards connection, new adventures and possibility. Thank you for adding your story to this conversation x
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Salley. It sounds like you've rebuilt a good life with real intention. And you're absolutely right. It does take effort and a big dose of belief in your own worth.
This was a thought provoking post , i thoroughly enjoyed it . The distinction between familiarity and belonging stayed with me. We can spend years surrounded by people and still feel unseen, because proximity is not intimacy.
One gift of midlife is that we stop measuring our lives by how many people are in them and begin noticing how we feel in their presence. Do I have to edit myself, manage their reactions, or earn my place? Or can I simply arrive as I am? Perhaps finding our people begins when we stop auditioning for belonging. The right community does not require us to become less of ourselves in order to remain part of it.
You did such a beautiful job of weaving together my words with your insights. Love this article! Thank you, Kiran, for featuring me and letting me speak to your community of women. I hope they find my words helpful and hopeful.
Thank you, Mina. I loved having this conversation with you and bringing your words into this piece. I think what you shared about loneliness, friendship grief, love, and community adds such an important dimension to the conversation around relationships in midlife.
And I love that Salley has added her experience here too. This is exactly why I wanted to have these conversations, because there isn’t one midlife story, and we learn so much when we make space for each other’s experiences. Thank you for trusting me with yours and for being part of this conversation x
A very interesting read. My midlife loneliness was not caused by those events. My marriage of 35 yeasts was happy and then cancer took my husband out very suddenly. We retired and settled in another country so my friends from work and school were far away. Making new friends took courage. I was lucky. I had family members who told me I could do it. Thanks to them I succeeded in creating a new life with new friends and new adventures it did take effort and believing in my worthiness to have happiness again.
Thank you Mina and Kiran. It’s good to read articles like this and remember we are stronger together when we share life.
Salley, thank you for sharing this. Your story is such an important reminder that there isn’t one single path into midlife loneliness. Sometimes it comes through the gradual changes of life, and sometimes it arrives through an unimaginable loss that changes everything overnight.
I love what you said about needing courage to make new friends and believing you were worthy of happiness again. There’s something incredibly powerful in that. Rebuilding a life after such a profound loss takes so much, and it sounds as though you allowed yourself to keep moving towards connection, new adventures and possibility. Thank you for adding your story to this conversation x
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Salley. It sounds like you've rebuilt a good life with real intention. And you're absolutely right. It does take effort and a big dose of belief in your own worth.