Laurie, that's exactly why I wanted to include a male voice in the series. That moment of recognition, "Oh, he's asking the same questions," feels important. Midlife has a way of levelling us all in the most human way.
And Paul, thank you for adding this. The point about men carrying these questions largely in silence is one I think gets missed. Women have spent years building the language and the communities for this kind of inner work. Many men haven't had that, and the loneliness that comes from that gap is real and worth talking about more openly.
The "menodivorce" observation is fascinating and, honestly, not surprising. When a woman finally stops shrinking herself to keep the peace, everything around her has to recalibrate. That's not a problem with her awakening; it's just the reality of how much had been quietly held in place by her staying small.
Such a rich thread. Grateful to both of you for taking it somewhere deeper x
I’m so grateful for this conversation, Kiran. There’s nothing I love more than being in dialogue with women, but I found it so fascinating to hear Paul reflect on what it means to be a man in midlife. So many of the questions he’s wrestling with felt deeply familiar. A beautiful reminder of how much more we share than we sometimes realize.
The difference (on the whole, not for everyone individually) is that most men lack other men around them or the ability to communicate these issues. This is where the loneliness comes from--especially if they've outperformed their peers. Women tend to have stronger social bonds with other women.
Many women may also have chosen for their careers to take a back seat while raising a family and see renewed freedom in midlife as the kids are more independent and leave home.
They give themselves permission to reclaim an identity and no longer keep putting themselves last (this is a good thing, but also changes the dynamics of a marriage--"menodivorce" is on the rise).
This is such an important perspective, Paul. Thank you for sharing it. I do think there’s something to what you’re saying about the different ways men and women have been socialized around connection and communication, and how that can shape the experience of midlife.
At the same time, what I found so powerful in this conversation is how similar the underlying questions really are. We’re all, in our own ways, trying to understand who we are now and what comes next.
It feels like the real opportunity is to keep talking — to stay curious about each other’s experiences and build a little more understanding and empathy along the way.
Laurie, that's exactly why I wanted to include a male voice in the series. That moment of recognition, "Oh, he's asking the same questions," feels important. Midlife has a way of levelling us all in the most human way.
And Paul, thank you for adding this. The point about men carrying these questions largely in silence is one I think gets missed. Women have spent years building the language and the communities for this kind of inner work. Many men haven't had that, and the loneliness that comes from that gap is real and worth talking about more openly.
The "menodivorce" observation is fascinating and, honestly, not surprising. When a woman finally stops shrinking herself to keep the peace, everything around her has to recalibrate. That's not a problem with her awakening; it's just the reality of how much had been quietly held in place by her staying small.
Such a rich thread. Grateful to both of you for taking it somewhere deeper x
I’m so grateful for this conversation, Kiran. There’s nothing I love more than being in dialogue with women, but I found it so fascinating to hear Paul reflect on what it means to be a man in midlife. So many of the questions he’s wrestling with felt deeply familiar. A beautiful reminder of how much more we share than we sometimes realize.
This definitely applies to many women too!
The difference (on the whole, not for everyone individually) is that most men lack other men around them or the ability to communicate these issues. This is where the loneliness comes from--especially if they've outperformed their peers. Women tend to have stronger social bonds with other women.
Many women may also have chosen for their careers to take a back seat while raising a family and see renewed freedom in midlife as the kids are more independent and leave home.
They give themselves permission to reclaim an identity and no longer keep putting themselves last (this is a good thing, but also changes the dynamics of a marriage--"menodivorce" is on the rise).
This is such an important perspective, Paul. Thank you for sharing it. I do think there’s something to what you’re saying about the different ways men and women have been socialized around connection and communication, and how that can shape the experience of midlife.
At the same time, what I found so powerful in this conversation is how similar the underlying questions really are. We’re all, in our own ways, trying to understand who we are now and what comes next.
It feels like the real opportunity is to keep talking — to stay curious about each other’s experiences and build a little more understanding and empathy along the way.