The Cabin Diaries, Day 2: I’m Going Where Life Can Find Me

This Autumn, I’m not waiting for my person to magically appear. I’m going to live as though love is possible, and put myself in places where life can actually meet me.

This morning, after a shower, a load of laundry, the dishwasher humming away in the background, breakfast, and a little photo shoot for today’s Cabin Diaries, I found myself thinking about my Meet-Cute Experiment. It feels rather fitting that this is what has come to mind on my second morning at the cabin, because yesterday was about turning inward and remembering parts of myself I hadn’t realised were still there.

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Today, I am thinking about what happens when I turn outward again and start participating more fully in the world.

A few weeks ago, I had a lovely conversation with Kai Soremekun 🤸🏽‍♀️✊🏽 about finding our person, finding someone to grow old with, and sharing our lives with someone. It was one of those conversations that felt easy while you’re having it, but then a question lands and stays with you. Kai asked me, “What are you going to do about it?” My answer was, quite honestly, a little naive. I said, “I’m hoping he’ll just show up one day.”

And that has pretty much been my strategy for years.

I haven’t actively looked. I haven’t wanted to date for the sake of dating. I haven’t been particularly interested in dating apps or in making finding a partner into a project. I’ve simply lived my life and, somewhere in the back of my mind, imagined that one day my person would somehow appear. Perhaps we’d reach for the same book in a bookshop, sit next to each other in a café, or strike up a conversation while waiting for something. Perhaps we’d look at each other, and there would be that little moment of recognition.

A Meet-Cute.

Except there is a rather obvious flaw in this romantic little fantasy. If I’m always at home, where exactly is this man supposed to meet me? 😂 My person isn’t going to magically appear at my front door one afternoon carrying flowers and announce, “Hi, Baby, I’m here.” Although, frankly, I wouldn’t object.

The truth is that I need to participate in my own life a little more.

I’m finally able to live again

When I look back over the last year, I can see why I haven’t been particularly available to life. From September last year until March this year, my hip pain was so awful that I barely left the house. Then I had surgery, and recovery quite rightly became my priority. My world became smaller because it needed to. I couldn’t simply decide that I was going to go wandering around town, spend an afternoon browsing bookshops, or take myself out for lunch. My body had other plans.

Then came the heatwave, and quite frankly, I was flat out. There were days when the idea of stepping outside into that heat was enough to make me retreat straight back inside.

But now Autumn is coming, and something feels different.

My body is recovering. My wardrobe is finally exactly where I want it to be. I’ve simplified my skincare, make-up, and jewellery so that getting ready can be almost foolproof. I know which sunglasses suit my face. I know what hair length makes me feel fabulous. I can put on a simple outfit, put my contact lenses in, grab my sunglasses and my little handbag, and be out the door in five minutes.

I want to use that.

Not for a man.

For me.

For one season, I am going to live as though love is possible

I keep coming back to this idea: for one season, I am going to live as though love is possible.

Not because I know when my person is coming. I don’t. Not because I am putting some ridiculous deadline on finding a relationship. I’m not. And certainly not because I want to turn my life into a hunt for a partner.

I simply want to see what happens when I make myself more available to life.

What happens when I go places alone and linger a little longer instead of rushing home? What happens when I accept invitations, start conversations, make eye contact, smile at strangers, and explore spaces I’ve never been to before? What happens when I stop automatically reaching for my phone when I’m sitting somewhere alone and instead look around me?

What happens when I give the universe a few more opportunities to surprise me?

My job isn’t to find my person. My job is simply to participate in my own life enough that something could happen.

That feels very different.

My Autumn rules aren’t dating rules

I’ve been thinking about what I want this experiment to actually look like, and I’ve realised I don’t need dating rules. I need life rules.

The first is simple: I will leave the house with somewhere to go. Not every outing has to be productive, useful, or connected to work. Sometimes the entire point can be getting dressed, putting my sunglasses on, and going somewhere simply because I fancy being there. I want to go for coffee, browse a bookshop, have lunch, see a film, visit an exhibition, wander around a market, take a walk along the Embankment, or explore a nearby town. I want to be amongst people again (even though I get overstimulated rather quickly).

I also want to get back into doing things: taking myself for coffee, sitting down for lunch, wandering around a bookshop, or going to the cinema alone can be an expression of having a life that I enjoy inhabiting. I don’t want to wait for somebody else to be available before I experience something I want to experience.

I want to choose places where people naturally linger, too. This matters. I’m not trying to manufacture encounters in places where everyone is rushing through, headphones in, eyes on their phones, and desperate to get home. I want the places where people sit for a while, browse, wander, talk, and notice what’s around them. Cafés, bookshops, markets, classes, exhibitions, walks, local events, and all the other little places where life naturally happens.

And I want to be approachable. That sounds almost ridiculously simple, but I know how easy it is to disappear into my phone when I’m alone. So this Autumn, I’m going to look up, make eye contact, smile, and most importantly, be aware that my resting bitch face takes a break 😂.

I’m going to actually notice the people around me rather than creating a little bubble and retreating into it.

I also want to initiate tiny conversations (this is a big one as I am a true introvert). Not flirting, not performing, and not trying to turn every interaction into something more. Just being human. Asking someone if they’ve been somewhere before, telling someone that the cake they’re eating looks delicious, mentioning that I’ve been meaning to visit a particular place for ages, or asking whether a book they’re holding is any good. These are tiny moments, but they’re also tiny openings. You never know where a conversation might lead, and it doesn’t need to lead anywhere at all to be worthwhile.

I want to say yes to more invitations, too. Not all of them, because I am still very much my introverted self, and I’m not suddenly becoming a social butterfly who wants to be out every night. But when my instinct is that I could go, perhaps I’ll actually go. I have spent enough time saying no because it’s easier to stay home. Autumn feels like a good season to experiment with saying yes.

And when I get dressed, I want to wear things that make me feel like myself. I want to ask myself, “How do I want to feel when I walk out of the house today?” Perhaps I want to feel sexy, feminine, interesting, playful, chic, soft, or powerful. Perhaps I want to feel all of those things at once. The point is that the woman I see in the mirror needs to like what she sees.

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There is one more rule that might be the most important of all: I am not going to evaluate every man I meet. I don’t want to walk around wondering, “Could I marry him? Is he my type? How old is he? Is he single? Is this my person?” That would turn a beautiful experiment into a job interview. Instead, I want to notice something much simpler: “Do I enjoy talking to this person?”

That’s enough.

I’m keeping an Autumn journal

Because, of course, I am.

I’ve already imagined a little section in my 49-to-50 planner called The Meet-Cute Experiment: Autumn 2026, where I can record what happens without turning it into a performance metric.

After each outing, I want to jot down where I went, what I did, who I spoke to, and whether anything unexpected happened. More importantly, I want to record how I felt. Did I feel open? Alive? Curious? Did I enjoy myself? What surprised me? Did I notice anything about myself that I hadn’t expected?

Because here’s what I suspect might happen.

I might discover that this experiment isn’t actually about finding a man.

Well, it is, obviously. 😂 I’d quite like to find my person. But I have a feeling there is something else waiting for me here.

There are parts of myself that have been waiting to come back into circulation.

• The flirtation.

• The curiosity.

• The anticipation of getting dressed and wondering where the day might take me.

• The little thrill of walking into somewhere new.

• The possibility of being noticed.

• The possibility of noticing someone.

• The pleasure of having a reason to put on lipstick.

• The feeling of sitting alone in a café and wondering who might walk through the door.

• The excitement of not knowing.

I haven’t had much of that for a very, very long time. And I want it back.

I want to romanticise my soulmate season

I’ve been thinking about this phrase too: My Soulmate Season.

Not because I know when I’m going to meet my person, but because I want to enjoy the season before I do. I want to romanticise being a woman who is open to love without making love the centre of her existence.

I want to put on an outfit I love, slip my contact lenses in, grab my sunglasses and little handbag, and walk out the door feeling good about myself. I want to wander through Autumn leaves and stop somewhere for coffee. I want to browse shelves in a bookshop, sit in a cinema with my favourite seasonal drink, go to a flea market and find something unexpected, walk along the Embankment with the cold air on my face and perhaps stop somewhere afterwards because I don’t want the afternoon to end yet.

I want to make an ordinary day feel like an occasion. I want to enjoy the anticipation of getting ready, the possibility of the unknown, and the feeling that something interesting could happen even if I have absolutely no idea what it will be.

Because I don’t want to spend my life waiting for love to begin.

I want to live the life now.

I don’t want to escape my life to find love

This has become increasingly clear to me over the last few months. I don’t want a relationship that becomes an escape from my life. I want a relationship that joins my life.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I actually want, and the answer isn’t complicated. I want a soft and simple life aligned with the seasons. I want meaningful work without allowing work to consume everything. I want a beautiful Home, good food, nature, laughter, intimacy, quiet evenings, adventures when they feel right, and someone to share the ordinary things with.

I want to snuggle on the sofa with a cuppa. I want ridiculous flirting and spontaneous kisses. I want to cook together and dance in the kitchen. I want hand-holding in public and late-night conversations. I want someone looking at me across a room like they still can’t quite believe they’re lucky enough to be sitting there with me.

But I don’t want to sit at home waiting for those things to begin. I want to live them as part of a life that already feels full.

And if someone comes along who wants to share that life with me, then we’ll make room.

So, this is my experiment

There is no target number of men to meet, no dating strategy, and no deadline. I’m not going to measure the success of Autumn by whether I meet my soulmate. That would be completely missing the point.

The experiment is simply to put myself back into circulation.

After months of pain, surgery, recovery, and heat, I am finally able to move around more freely. I can walk. I can explore. I can get dressed and go somewhere without having to think about whether my body will allow me to do it. And instead of asking, “Where should I go to meet someone?”, I’m asking a much better question: “Where would I go if I simply wanted to have a beautiful life?”

That’s where I’m going.

Maybe my person is already somewhere in the places I’m about to visit. Maybe he isn’t. Maybe I’ll meet him this Autumn. Maybe I’ll meet him next year. Maybe I’ll have ten lovely conversations with interesting men, and none of them will be my person. Maybe I’ll spend an afternoon in a bookshop, walk along the Embankment, have a coffee, and come home with nothing but a good story.

I’ll take all of it.

Because this isn’t about finding someone to complete my life. It’s about creating a life I am fully present for, so that if someone wonderful walks into it, there is already something beautiful for him to walk into.

So, for one season, I’m going to live as though love is possible. I’m going to leave the house. I’m going to linger. I’m going to look up. I’m going to smile. I’m going to talk to people (if it comes naturally, and not force a conversation). I’m going to say yes when I genuinely want to. I’m going to explore places I’ve never been to. I’m going to wear clothes that make me feel like myself. I’m going to let myself feel curious again.

I’m going to give the universe a few more opportunities to surprise me.

And somewhere in the middle of all of that, perhaps my person walks into the story.

Or perhaps I simply discover even more of the woman I’ve been waiting to bring back into circulation.

Either way, I win.

Because I’m not waiting anymore.

I’m living.

And maybe, one ordinary Autumn day, I’ll be walking into a bookshop, sitting down in a café, wandering through a market, or taking my usual walk along the Embankment when something unexpected happens.

Maybe I’ll look up.

Maybe he’ll look up too.

Maybe we’ll smile.

Maybe we’ll start talking.

Maybe our paths will cross in the most ordinary, unremarkable way imaginable, and one day we’ll look back and realise it was the beginning of everything.

I was living my life, and somehow our paths crossed.

That’s the meet-cute I’m waiting for ❤️

Kiran x

Kiransinghuk.com | The Sattva Collective

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CHECK OUT LAST YEAR’S DAY 2 ENTRY

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